Starting to struggle
katanak9
Posts: 42 Member
Hi lovely MFP people. I think I've reached the point now where I'm going to start needing some help and encouragement. Although these early results have been good, the initial novelty factor has worn off, the weather here in NZ is starting to change from summer into Autumn and I'm about to head into a difficult month. April is full of family birthdays (including my own and my baby son's), so lots of tricky days to negotiate. It feels like the hard slog is just starting now.
Would love some more accountability buddies to help me to stay focused.
How have people stayed focused and on track when you know this is going to be a long road before you reach goal weight?
Would love some more accountability buddies to help me to stay focused.
How have people stayed focused and on track when you know this is going to be a long road before you reach goal weight?
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Replies
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Do you have a lot to lose? I lost a bunch Sept 2019-Feb 2020, then had hip surgery just before the pandemic, maintained my loss but it started to come back after Halloween 2020, 6 pounds. Anyway, early Jan I felt I had to get going for real, I still had a lot to lose and seeing how fast 6 pounds came on I talked to my boyfriend.
He wanted to lose weight too so we hijacked an online game where you bet on yourself to lose to win money. We made our own challenge, set our own goals. Starting Jan 21st and ending May 28th we would lose our goal, his 30, mine 25.
Big deal.
Well, the trick motivation I built in was (non food) reward. Every 5 pounds, at half way, and at final, you get a reward. Think fun socks, new jeans, a movie rental, etc.
It broke it down into manageable pieces and made it less focused on the long term.
Good luck!
P.S.- he lost 30 already, 9 weeks. I'm stuck at 22.2 after 10 weeks. Sigh. I have another 40 to go after this challenge too.4 -
Slow down or switch to maintenance for April. If you're currently aiming to lose 1lb per week, add 250 calories to your daily budget and aim for 0.5lb per week instead, or add 500 calories to your daily budget and aim to maintain your current weight for the month. You can redo the guided setup or just do the math and manually change your calorie goal in your settings. Suffering is not necessary for weight loss, and the thing about birthdays and holidays is they happen every year, so you ought to figure out how to coexist with them sooner rather than later.
edit: typo5 -
Hi I’m also from nz would love to motivate each other! Feel free to add me
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Jezzieso18 wrote: »Hi I’m also from nz would love to motivate each other! Feel free to add me
I’m no creep just need to be with like minded people who need support1 -
What stands out strongly from your post is how strongly you are linking your weight loss success to your environment. Birthdays = hard, Winter = challenge. The question is: why? You are in control of your reaction to these events.
Re: social occasions - yes, you can enjoy them, just save up calories (or build up calories via exercise) and then exercise moderation when enjoying any treats on offer. Be the organiser of other elements for any celebration that isn’t focused around food (games, music, decorations, photographer).
Re: Winter - wrap up and enjoy the bracing weather, try exercise you can do at home (yoga, body-weight exercise). Also, use the season to nurture yourself: light candles and enjoy some “hygge” with a book and a spiced tea. Make homemade soups and slow-cooked stews packed with veggies and pulses.
Is your anticipation of these events a form of you “pre-blaming” external events because you fear you are running out of steam, GENERALLY? Is it actually just an excuse because you are getting jaded and bored of your regime? If so - think of changing things up now before events get the better at you. Set new goals, perhaps to do with exercise (hit a daily step goal or minutes you can hold a plank), wellness (try 10 mins of meditation before bed for relaxation and better sleep), nutrition (hit a fibre goal, # of veggie servings goal).
I realise the above might seem a bit heartless if all you were after is a bit of sympathy (and believe me - I DO sympathise...this journey can be tough). But, I guess my overall point is this: you are not helpless; you are in control of how you react to events; picture hurdles as interesting challenges to jump over rather than barriers which stop you in your tracks. Use this time to prove to yourself how unfazed you can be by changes in your environment. Adapt and thrive!
You’ve got this!!!5 -
There’s something you can change right now that will help you. Change your mind. Forget about the long road to goal and the hard slog. Truth is not much changes at goal weight. Not if you want to stay there.
Weight loss has 2 parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. Folks tend to go all in on the deficit and try to beat themselves into living with it. Doesn’t work for long. What works? Embrace the process.
Consider this- eating just 100 extra calories per day will get us gaining about 10 lbs per year. That’s using the 3500 cal per lb rule of thumb. Likewise, a 100 calorie deficit per day will result in a about a 10 lb loss in a year. If we can find our way to a livable downward trend, time can actually be on our side in this.
Give your plan another look and try to see yourself living with it for the rest of your life. Can you do it? Why not? What would it take to get there?
Special occasions. Here’s a thing about special occasions, they are meant to be special. But we live in a world that try’s to make everything special. Usually so someone can sell us something. Every Friday is not special. But birthdays are.
What do you need to celebrate a birthday? Make a plan. It’s likely that adding birthday cake if that’s what’s needed (btw I found ice cream easier to work with) is going to be a challenge to fit with your number. But crunch the number. Then try this. If you need to, up your calorie target for that day. It’s ok. It’s not written anywhere that you can’t. You don’t need to run for 2 hrs or go without eating all day to fit in a birthday party. Just ease up for the occasion. I found that better than just taking a whole day off. I’d eat 1000s of extra calories doing that.
It’s not just that it’s ok to modify your plan to make it livable. To get to goal and stay there it has to be done. Good luck.4 -
I started using MFP again after being away for around 2 years and regaining the weight I lost. I started the week of my sons birthday, I still had a tiny piece of cake and party food but I was just more cautious with what I ate to make sure I stayed within my calories. My youngest sons birthday was last week and I did the same again. I honestly believe you have to be in the right mindset and plan ahead to stay on track, eat under calories for a couple of days and use those calories on the special days, exercise indoors when the weather's bad. Remember your goal and why you want to do this and find the determination to do it.3
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Thank you for those that responded, and especially those who have responded with a bit of "tough love" - it's not being heartless, it's truth and reminding me that I'm still in control of how I respond and prepare for things.
Despite the lagging enthusiasm, I have still maintained my exercise regime (which, so far is still just walking) and have managed within my usual daily total calories. Today I even had enough calories for my first chocolate bar in about a month, which proves this process doesn't have to be about deprivation.
My birthday is on Thursday and my husband is taking me out for dinner. I've looked at the menu already and chosen what I want so that I can do some exercise and prepare for it. I'll use the same approach to my two children's birthday's.
And my husband set up our treadmill for me, so if it's too nasty outside I still have an indoor walk option.
I think what will get me through this patch is routine and planning; just keep at it until the next spark of inspiration hits, then it'll be easier.6 -
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YESSSSSSS!
We could all take a lesson from how you have responded to your doubts! Well done you!1 -
Hi lovely MFP people. I think I've reached the point now where I'm going to start needing some help and encouragement. Although these early results have been good, the initial novelty factor has worn off, the weather here in NZ is starting to change from summer into Autumn and I'm about to head into a difficult month. April is full of family birthdays (including my own and my baby son's), so lots of tricky days to negotiate. It feels like the hard slog is just starting now.
Would love some more accountability buddies to help me to stay focused.
How have people stayed focused and on track when you know this is going to be a long road before you reach goal weight?
Big picture...just arriving at some arbitrary weight on the scale isn't end game...it's actually just the starting line of the real race. Everything leading up to that has just been practice. Losing weight IMO is actually the easy part...there's that little rush from seeing the scale go down yet another pound or whatever. There's none of that in maintenance and at the same time, you have to maintain relatively good eating habits and exercise habits (which have their own rewards/benefits, but they're not quite as tangible as when you are losing weight).
Ultimately life happens...birthdays happen...holidays happen...celebrations happen. These are joyous occasions and in the grand scheme of things, nobody became overweight because of occasions, and they're not going away this year or next year or the year after that, etc. Also, it is quite normal for things to change somewhat seasonally. I'm not much of a "workout" guy, but I'm pretty active. Unfortunately, a great deal of that activity is outdoors active recreation and that takes a big hit in the winter. I compensate somewhat with more structured workouts and training, but it doesn't typically make up for the large drop in general recreational activity and my eating habits tend to remain fairly static...after years of doing this (more or less maintenance since spring 2013) I count maintaining or a small winter gain a win. I'm not "on" all of the time...nobody is that I know.
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Enjoy all the celebrations, especially your birthday! Have you had a "maintenance break" recently? If not, would it help you reframe and recharge? Practicing maintenance for a month is good practice for everyone, but it would give you just a few more calories to celebrate with and would change things up. I start getting deficit weary after 10 weeks, even with a small 250cal deficit, and just that small increase to maintenance is enough to recharge my energy a bit. Give it a try if you think it could help!1
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Hi again folks.
Just thought I'd report in on how it's going so far. My birthday and my son's birthday have now passed. Just my daughter's birthday to go in 3 weeks.
I have walked most days and I had one day when I went over my calorie goal (which is still set to loss) by about 200 calories, I think. Oddly, the day I went over was neither birthday, haha.
I'm continuing to just slog through. If I can walk each day, the food side normally is all good.
A couple of people have pointed out that, after all, once I get to goal weight, there's maintenance and that's really just the same thing. Obviously, it's not like you can get to goal weight, say "yay me" and then eat anything at all and expect to stay at goal weight. This has made me really start to think about that. I've struggled with maintenance, which is why this is the THIRD time I've had to lose a significant amount of weight. It seems life events throw me easily and I need more resilience and to learn more about balance.
Thanks so much for all your comments. I have much to think about and learn, but I've felt supported during this tricky period and so far, it's going ok and I'm feeling more positive. 😊1
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