Need help! I binged over 2000 calories
spaikulistride
Posts: 10 Member
I ended up eating 2000 calories more than I normally would and ate over 3000 yesterday (my normal amount is 1600) and on top of that this happens couple times a week, which makes it really hard to get my body to look the way I want it to. I really struggle when it comes to bingeing and I can't stop myself when I'm about to or if I'm already bingeing. It's a huge mental battle for me that I 9/10 will lose even tho I know I'll feel horrible after, what do I do? How do I have self-control and stop myself from doing this?
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Replies
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I think we need a little bit of background. You mention your calorie goal is 1600, what’s your deficit goal? If you don’t know, what weight loss goal rate did you select on MFP when you set it up? 1lb? 2lb? What’s your lifestyle like, do you have a physical job or do lots of exercise? Are you male or female, how old are you, what’s your current weight and height? How long have these frequent binges been happening? Did they start after you went on the 1600-calorie diet or did this happen before?
Before hearing any background, the two options that came to my head are: a) 1600 calories is unsustainably low for you b) a binge-eating disorder. Hearing more about your situation will help give me and others more insight and ideas.2 -
spaikulistride wrote: »I ended up eating 2000 calories more than I normally would and ate over 3000 yesterday (my normal amount is 1600) and on top of that this happens couple times a week, which makes it really hard to get my body to look the way I want it to. I really struggle when it comes to bingeing and I can't stop myself when I'm about to or if I'm already bingeing. It's a huge mental battle for me that I 9/10 will lose even tho I know I'll feel horrible after, what do I do? How do I have self-control and stop myself from doing this?
That's very hard to overcome but not impossible. I've been working on it for years. The most important thing is to not give up or give yourself the excuse that your diet is ruined if you had a bad day. Consistency will get you to your goals.
For me, the only way I could stop bingeing is to do my best and not have the junk food I would eat around. Other things that have helped is to eat my meals more slowly so I feel full while eating and not after a snack after having diner because I didn't feel full yet. Also making my meals 2/3 fruits and vegetables helped me.
Sometimes there is also a mental aspect to eating food. Sometimes people are trying to fill a void of some kind and use food to do that or to comfort them. That also may be something to look into. I know it was true for me.3 -
If you aren't already seeing a mental health professional, that would be where I would start. I'm not a MH pro and even if I were I'm not your MH pro, so I can't diagnose you with anything through the internet, but it sounds like there's something else going on here that's worth exploring. A professional will be better equipped to help you figure out how to tackle whatever it is.
In the meantime, while you look into the mental health support options available to you, here are some questions to consider. You don't have to answer them here, just think on them, maybe journal about it. MFP gives each user a personal blog that you can set to Private if you don't want anyone else to see what you write there; you can get there on the desktop app by going to My Home > My Blog. It doesn't appear that you can access your personal blog via the mobile app, only the site blog with all the articles and recipes and such.
1. Why do you choose to binge? It sounds like this is something that happens fairly often for you; can you point to any obvious triggers? Is it hunger, boredom, stress?
2. What is the "point of no return" for you? Once you have chosen to binge in response to whatever your trigger is, at what point can you no longer choose not to do that? Could you interrupt yourself before you get into the kitchen, before you open the pantry/fridge/whatever, before you open the food container, before the food enters your mouth?
3. What other things could you choose to do instead of binging, when you encounter your trigger? Here are some suggestions to get you started, make your own list:
* Drink a glass of water (maybe keep a case of bottled water somewhere outside of the kitchen, if you don't think you can trust yourself to go in for just a glass of water)
* Take a ten-minute walk outside of your living space - around the block, up and down the hall, bonus points if you can involve stairs somehow
* Play a game on your phone/computer/console for ten minutes
* Do a Sudoku puzzle/crossword/etc
* If you're crafty, pick up a crafting WIP and work on it for ten minutes
* Meditate
* Sit on the couch under a weighted blanket and count backwards from one hundred3 -
Reinforcing what others have said, we need to understand your situation (they've posed specific questions) and also what you mean by "binge".
In an extreme clinical sense, a binge can be uncontrolled eating of almost any food that comes to hand, desperate, unable to stop, feeling awful all the way. In those cases, professional counseling is probably the best plan. There may be ways to manage eating better, while the counseling has time to play out, but getting that help is very important in this kind of situation.
In casual conversation, sometimes people use the same word, but mean that they got crave-y, and they ate some treat that tasted good, so they ate more; then that lead to eating a different yummy thing; and after it was all over they thought "why did I do that? That wasn't my goal." so they felt bad and guilty after the fact. Maybe there was some element, in this scenario, of feeling deprived, giving up all the good stuff, and the eating had a bust-out rebellion quality in the moment, with regret later. In this scenario, some self-counseling plus adjustments in one's plan (less extreme calorie deficit, different food choices, not putting treats off limits, etc.) can be effective.
Those two scenarios are very different things, but a lot of the difference is in what triggers the situation, and how it plays out subjectively. There's a 3rd scenario that some people might call "a binge", but I wouldn't. As an example, on 3/20, I ate 3885 calories, which is around 1500 calories above my goal, nice variety of foods, in normal (but large) meals, got good nutrition. I did it because I chose to, had reasons to be a little celebratory, decided I wanted that celebration to include some rich foods, and I knew the consequences would be pretty small in the big picture. I didn't feel bad or guilty, it was just a choice. Now, this last was not what you're reporting, even though the calorie numbers are similar. The point of including it is because sometimes people think that just eating over goal is inherently some kind of failure, *ought* to cause guilt, and that's not universally true.
If you answer folks' questions, I'm betting we could come up with some strategies that would help. There are people here with lots of different experiences, who have found ways to overcome eating issues and accomplish weight loss. We want to help.
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Thank you to everyone who responded! So sorry for not providing that much background info and for take forever to get back to you all! I'm in the middle of work. To answer some of the questions; I'm a girl, 19 turning 20. I'm 5'7 140lbs and 1600 is my deficit. I'm pretty sure I chose to lose 1lb a week. I live on a farm, which is also my work, so kinda active and I try to workout 4-5 days a week after work. My bingeing episodes have been going on for years now and have slowing gotten worse, I used to be able to control it a little bit more. No, I'm not seeing anyone about this. I don't really know what my "trigger" is, sometimes I'm not even hungry but I'll still eat till I feel like throwing up and then some. My "point of no return" is once my hand starts reaching for whatever it I'm going for, it's not just sweets, and I'll be mentally screaming at myself the whole time to stop but I can't till the episode is over. The only thing that I've found that can stop them from happening is if I brush my teeth and wear my retainer, but I don't want to have to wear all day. @AnnPT77 what I mean by "binge" is what your first description of it is. Thank you all for answering! I hope I answered most of the questions and if I missed anything or anyone has anymore I'll be happy to answer them!2
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1lb per week is pretty aggressive for someone your size; you may feel better losing more slowly, like 0.5lb per week.
But yeah, from your additional information you provided I think you should talk to someone. Again, I'm not a doc and I can't diagnose you, but what you've described really sounds like a maladaptive relationship with food, at best. Treatment is possible, but you would benefit more from professional help than anonymous rando's on the internet, I think. See if there's a community mental health center anywhere near you, they may offer affordable services or a sliding-scale pricing structure. If transportation is a challenge, you may still be able to utilize their services via telehealth.3 -
goal06082021 wrote: »1lb per week is pretty aggressive for someone your size; you may feel better losing more slowly, like 0.5lb per week.
But yeah, from your additional information you provided I think you should talk to someone. Again, I'm not a doc and I can't diagnose you, but what you've described really sounds like a maladaptive relationship with food, at best. Treatment is possible, but you would benefit more from professional help than anonymous rando's on the internet, I think. See if there's a community mental health center anywhere near you, they may offer affordable services or a sliding-scale pricing structure. If transportation is a challenge, you may still be able to utilize their services via telehealth.
I agree with all of this. At 5’7 and 140lbs you’re already within healthy BMI, so I’m going to suggest your main health issue right now is your relationship with food, not your relationship with your weight. Trying to lose weight without getting treatment for your mental health and your relationship with food might be counterproductive, since you’re adding a calorie deficit (and a big one, at that) to the mix that might cause all kinds of hunger pangs and eating signals. You are also very active, which leads me to think your calorie estimates might be too low for your lifestyle.
I’m not a medical professional and can’t diagnose you either, but I second the advice above and suggest you stop trying to lose weight for now and seek professional help in whatever way is accessible and affordable to you: in-person clinic, telehealth services, national online chats and helplines might all be options. If none of these are possible or you can’t find an accessible option, is there a trusted adult you could talk to? Parent, aunt, older cousin, neighbor, friend’s parent, coach, whatever? Any adult who you trust, who would listen to your concerns and could help you find treatment options. I’m not trying to sound condescending and I know 19 is technically an adult, but I mean, well, an adultier adult who has some perspective and might be more resourceful as they’re not the ones currently experiencing this.5 -
goal06082021 wrote: »1lb per week is pretty aggressive for someone your size; you may feel better losing more slowly, like 0.5lb per week.
But yeah, from your additional information you provided I think you should talk to someone. Again, I'm not a doc and I can't diagnose you, but what you've described really sounds like a maladaptive relationship with food, at best. Treatment is possible, but you would benefit more from professional help than anonymous rando's on the internet, I think. See if there's a community mental health center anywhere near you, they may offer affordable services or a sliding-scale pricing structure. If transportation is a challenge, you may still be able to utilize their services via telehealth.
I agree with all of this. At 5’7 and 140lbs you’re already within healthy BMI, so I’m going to suggest your main health issue right now is your relationship with food, not your relationship with your weight. Trying to lose weight without getting treatment for your mental health and your relationship with food might be counterproductive, since you’re adding a calorie deficit (and a big one, at that) to the mix that might cause all kinds of hunger pangs and eating signals. You are also very active, which leads me to think your calorie estimates might be too low for your lifestyle.
I’m not a medical professional and can’t diagnose you either, but I second the advice above and suggest you stop trying to lose weight for now and seek professional help in whatever way is accessible and affordable to you: in-person clinic, telehealth services, national online chats and helplines might all be options. If none of these are possible or you can’t find an accessible option, is there a trusted adult you could talk to? Parent, aunt, older cousin, neighbor, friend’s parent, coach, whatever? Any adult who you trust, who would listen to your concerns and could help you find treatment options. I’m not trying to sound condescending and I know 19 is technically an adult, but I mean, well, an adultier adult who has some perspective and might be more resourceful as they’re not the ones currently experiencing this.
Thank you all for the advice and you don't sound condescending! Unfortunately none of those options are available to me and I'm too embarrassed to talk about it to my dad, he's really the only adult in my life, plus he has so much going on already so I don't want to add anymore to his already overflowing plate. But thank you all again for the advice and I'll take into consideration all of the things you guys listed and hopefully be able to find something that works! Thank you!0 -
spaikulistride wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded! So sorry for not providing that much background info and for take forever to get back to you all! I'm in the middle of work. To answer some of the questions; I'm a girl, 19 turning 20. I'm 5'7 140lbs and 1600 is my deficit. I'm pretty sure I chose to lose 1lb a week. I live on a farm, which is also my work, so kinda active and I try to workout 4-5 days a week after work. My bingeing episodes have been going on for years now and have slowing gotten worse, I used to be able to control it a little bit more. No, I'm not seeing anyone about this. I don't really know what my "trigger" is, sometimes I'm not even hungry but I'll still eat till I feel like throwing up and then some. My "point of no return" is once my hand starts reaching for whatever it I'm going for, it's not just sweets, and I'll be mentally screaming at myself the whole time to stop but I can't till the episode is over. The only thing that I've found that can stop them from happening is if I brush my teeth and wear my retainer, but I don't want to have to wear all day. @AnnPT77 what I mean by "binge" is what your first description of it is. Thank you all for answering! I hope I answered most of the questions and if I missed anything or anyone has anymore I'll be happy to answer them!
what is your goal weight?1 -
thisvickyruns wrote: »spaikulistride wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded! So sorry for not providing that much background info and for take forever to get back to you all! I'm in the middle of work. To answer some of the questions; I'm a girl, 19 turning 20. I'm 5'7 140lbs and 1600 is my deficit. I'm pretty sure I chose to lose 1lb a week. I live on a farm, which is also my work, so kinda active and I try to workout 4-5 days a week after work. My bingeing episodes have been going on for years now and have slowing gotten worse, I used to be able to control it a little bit more. No, I'm not seeing anyone about this. I don't really know what my "trigger" is, sometimes I'm not even hungry but I'll still eat till I feel like throwing up and then some. My "point of no return" is once my hand starts reaching for whatever it I'm going for, it's not just sweets, and I'll be mentally screaming at myself the whole time to stop but I can't till the episode is over. The only thing that I've found that can stop them from happening is if I brush my teeth and wear my retainer, but I don't want to have to wear all day. @AnnPT77 what I mean by "binge" is what your first description of it is. Thank you all for answering! I hope I answered most of the questions and if I missed anything or anyone has anymore I'll be happy to answer them!
what is your goal weight?
132-135ish I mainly want to lower my fat% I know muscle weighs more than fat so the number isn't my main concern really0 -
just wanted to post an update; I changed some of my goals and now my calculated calorie intake is 2070. A lot of you pointed out that maybe 1600 was to low so I'll give this a shot and see if it helps5
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Glad to hear you're taking positive steps! One more thing you could do, like someone sort of suggested above, is to really pay attention next time you're hit with the urge to binge:
What did you do and eat earlier that day?
How were you feeling earlier that day? Did something happen that caused negative emotions, anxiety or stress?
What thoughts were going through your mind before the urge hit, and during the urge?
If in-person services or trusted adults aren't available, do you have trusted friends/peers that could help you, or even just listen to your concerns and thoughts? That's often helpful. You also have internet access since you're here, googling "mental health helpline" + your country or "eating disorder helpline" + your country might provide helpful links.0 -
spaikulistride wrote: »thisvickyruns wrote: »spaikulistride wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded! So sorry for not providing that much background info and for take forever to get back to you all! I'm in the middle of work. To answer some of the questions; I'm a girl, 19 turning 20. I'm 5'7 140lbs and 1600 is my deficit. I'm pretty sure I chose to lose 1lb a week. I live on a farm, which is also my work, so kinda active and I try to workout 4-5 days a week after work. My bingeing episodes have been going on for years now and have slowing gotten worse, I used to be able to control it a little bit more. No, I'm not seeing anyone about this. I don't really know what my "trigger" is, sometimes I'm not even hungry but I'll still eat till I feel like throwing up and then some. My "point of no return" is once my hand starts reaching for whatever it I'm going for, it's not just sweets, and I'll be mentally screaming at myself the whole time to stop but I can't till the episode is over. The only thing that I've found that can stop them from happening is if I brush my teeth and wear my retainer, but I don't want to have to wear all day. @AnnPT77 what I mean by "binge" is what your first description of it is. Thank you all for answering! I hope I answered most of the questions and if I missed anything or anyone has anymore I'll be happy to answer them!
what is your goal weight?
132-135ish I mainly want to lower my fat% I know muscle weighs more than fat so the number isn't my main concern really
you might want to look into recomp instead of weight loss. there's a good thread knocking about that someone might be able to post1 -
*Hugs* AS someone who has struggled with binge eating as you described, I know the struggle. I'm glad you readjusted your calorie goal to see if that helps. I know for me, I would binge even when I wasn't physically hungry, so I hope you can find some resources to help you with your relationship with food. I understand that "out of control" feeling, too. It was like the more I ate, the more guilt and shame I would feel, so I would continue to stuff my face to just numb those uncomfortable feelings.
I'm 44 now so have QUITE a few years on you, but I remember being at a healthy weight (once I lost some), but never feeling satisfied. Of course, as others have said, it's more difficult (or I should say, takes longer) to lose weight when you're already at a healthy weight, which is frustrating, and would often lead me to restrict calories even further. I'm glad you're taking people's advice here in increasing your calories rather than decreasing them.
I'm happy to say that I'm at a healthy weight, and while I still struggle with being ok with where I'm at now, it's gotten a lot better. I won't say that the urge to binge is completely gone, but I'm much better able to stop it if I start to eat too much (done in secret) so it doesn't get out of control. I think not restricting myself for several years really helped get over that desire to binge. That didn't mean I'd anything and everything, just that I didn't obsess too much about it. I also shifted my focus on choosing foods/amount of food for health vs. weight loss, and what foods make me feel better after I eat them.
I'd also highly recommend getting into strength training (if you're not already) with effective progressive overload programs. I really like Nia Shanks, as she's all about helping women get STRONGER, not skinnier. She had body dysmorphia herself, so understands the struggle women go through in feeling like they don't look "Fit" enough. I know there are also lots of online resources and several books available on the subject on Amazon.
https://niashanks.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Binge-Eating-Prevention-Workbook-Individualized/dp/1684033616/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1GY7IBO5SMAJV&dchild=1&keywords=binge+eating+workbook+for+adults&qid=1617976332&sprefix=binge+eating+workbo,aps,898&sr=8-5
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thisvickyruns wrote: »spaikulistride wrote: »thisvickyruns wrote: »spaikulistride wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded! So sorry for not providing that much background info and for take forever to get back to you all! I'm in the middle of work. To answer some of the questions; I'm a girl, 19 turning 20. I'm 5'7 140lbs and 1600 is my deficit. I'm pretty sure I chose to lose 1lb a week. I live on a farm, which is also my work, so kinda active and I try to workout 4-5 days a week after work. My bingeing episodes have been going on for years now and have slowing gotten worse, I used to be able to control it a little bit more. No, I'm not seeing anyone about this. I don't really know what my "trigger" is, sometimes I'm not even hungry but I'll still eat till I feel like throwing up and then some. My "point of no return" is once my hand starts reaching for whatever it I'm going for, it's not just sweets, and I'll be mentally screaming at myself the whole time to stop but I can't till the episode is over. The only thing that I've found that can stop them from happening is if I brush my teeth and wear my retainer, but I don't want to have to wear all day. @AnnPT77 what I mean by "binge" is what your first description of it is. Thank you all for answering! I hope I answered most of the questions and if I missed anything or anyone has anymore I'll be happy to answer them!
what is your goal weight?
132-135ish I mainly want to lower my fat% I know muscle weighs more than fat so the number isn't my main concern really
you might want to look into recomp instead of weight loss. there's a good thread knocking about that someone might be able to post
Okay thank you! I haven't really heard anything about that but I just saw thread you're talking about and will look into it more!0 -
Speakeasy76 wrote: »*Hugs* AS someone who has struggled with binge eating as you described, I know the struggle. I'm glad you readjusted your calorie goal to see if that helps. I know for me, I would binge even when I wasn't physically hungry, so I hope you can find some resources to help you with your relationship with food. I understand that "out of control" feeling, too. It was like the more I ate, the more guilt and shame I would feel, so I would continue to stuff my face to just numb those uncomfortable feelings.
I'm 44 now so have QUITE a few years on you, but I remember being at a healthy weight (once I lost some), but never feeling satisfied. Of course, as others have said, it's more difficult (or I should say, takes longer) to lose weight when you're already at a healthy weight, which is frustrating, and would often lead me to restrict calories even further. I'm glad you're taking people's advice here in increasing your calories rather than decreasing them.
I'm happy to say that I'm at a healthy weight, and while I still struggle with being ok with where I'm at now, it's gotten a lot better. I won't say that the urge to binge is completely gone, but I'm much better able to stop it if I start to eat too much (done in secret) so it doesn't get out of control. I think not restricting myself for several years really helped get over that desire to binge. That didn't mean I'd anything and everything, just that I didn't obsess too much about it. I also shifted my focus on choosing foods/amount of food for health vs. weight loss, and what foods make me feel better after I eat them.
I'd also highly recommend getting into strength training (if you're not already) with effective progressive overload programs. I really like Nia Shanks, as she's all about helping women get STRONGER, not skinnier. She had body dysmorphia herself, so understands the struggle women go through in feeling like they don't look "Fit" enough. I know there are also lots of online resources and several books available on the subject on Amazon.
https://niashanks.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Binge-Eating-Prevention-Workbook-Individualized/dp/1684033616/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1GY7IBO5SMAJV&dchild=1&keywords=binge+eating+workbook+for+adults&qid=1617976332&sprefix=binge+eating+workbo,aps,898&sr=8-5
Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you're doing better now! I know my struggles might not go away completely but reading your story makes me happy knowing it can get better😊 thank you for sharing some of your tips with me and I'll definitely check out Nia Shanks! I don't know if I can get into weight lifting since I workout from home and just have dumbbells (weighing 5-30lbs) and 2 sets of resistance bands ( from 10-60lbs). I'm too nervous to go to the gym lol there's too many people for me1
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