Overwhelmed, stressed, and not sure where to start

Write down the reasons why you want to lose weight and keep it somewhere like near your bedroom door or somewhere you'll see it in the morning to help you remember what you have to do for that day.
Stick to smaller goals and maybe reward yourself with non food rewards as you hit 5kg or whatever that may help.
Get a bunch of friends and log everything you eat even if it's totally way past the calorie target that way you're aware of what you're eating and the friends can try and help with their experience.
Don't try and start at running 5km/day.. just do a walk around the block for the first week... Start slow.

From reading your post, with untreated depression and anxiety it may be a tricky time to start on a weight loss journey. However, I firmly believe that not only how much but WHAT we eat has a huge impact on our mental health. Ever hear of the gut-brain connection? It's a real thing.

What if you reframed your thoughts from thinking about eating and moving more to lose weight to eating and moving more for your health, especially mental health? Maybe don't even think about how much weight you have to lose right now, or tracking how much you eat. I found that when I shifted my focus to eating for health, it really lessened my anxiety around losing weight. Of course, everyone will say you need to eat in a deficit to lose weight, and that's definitely true. However, maybe right now that's not the best place to start if the thought is overwhelming right now.

I definitely agree that starting small is the way to go. What's one thing you think you could commit to for a week? It could be something small, like including more vegetables at lunch and dinner. Walking is also something that is easy and free, and being outside in the vitamin D definitely helps with mood. In fact, if you live in a cold-weather climate and aren't outside a lot, there's a good chance your vitamin D levels are on the low side, which can also contribute to mood disorders.

One thing that is HUGE in weight loss and maintenance is shifting your mindset. If, right now, you're overwhelmed with the thought of losing weight, it can make your journey more difficult. Once you feel better with the small changes you've made, you may start to really believe you can lose the weight for good.You are doing this for yourself so you can feel better. While it can be hard and you may have slip-ups, that's okay. You just get back on that horse. You don't have to be 'perfect" all the time.

As an aside, you may want to look into supplements that can help with mood. Some that have some evidence behind them are ashwagandha, theanine and and Omega-3 supplement, especially those geared towards mood. There's also St. John's Wort, but you do have to be careful with that one, mostly because it can interact with some medications.

Baby steps...

It is easy to get caught up in the cycle of not feeling like moving and yet you know moving will make you feel better. I would recommend start with some small changes and slowly add in new changes over time.

A great start would be to get some sun and some feel-good exercise by walking. Even if you do not feel like it. Don't just leave it to chance though, schedule it. Work out a time to go as a family or when your husband can/will watch the kiddos.

Next, make a healthy change to your diet. Give up or cut back on something you know is not good for you. Add in one thing that is healthy.

Starting with some small wins can really help you build some momentum. Rome was not built in a day!

Get some help for certain. There are more options now than ever if you're in a difficult spot.

What helped me when I was feeling similar to how you are feeling was not caring if I failed. I was going to get started even though I felt overwhelmed, even though I knew for certain that I couldn't lose all the weight I wanted to lose. Even though I didn't feel like I was getting the support I wanted. I shut off my brain and just got up and did it. I did in 5 months what I haven't been able to do in 10 years this way. It's not perfect, but it worked.

That thing in your head that is telling you it can't be done...it's a lie. You can do this!

Another vote for baby steps. I don't have anxiety or depression, but I have adult kids who struggle with it. First and foremost, be your own best friend. Kindness to yourself will pay off. What would you tell a friend? Tell yourself that. The key to success is going to be sustainability, so make small changes that you can live with. Don't make this any harder than you have to. Can you take a 10 minute walk? Do that every day. Build the habit. Over time, you'll find that 10 minutes becomes 12, 15, 18... Start where you are, not where you think you should be.

The suggestion to log everything for a week is another really good one. Find out honestly, how much are you eating? If you are eating 3,000+ calories a day, you can probably make a really small change that will shave a few hundred off. You can adjust that again in the coming weeks or months. This doesn't have to happen quickly, and you're more likely to stick to your plan if the changes aren't drastic.

Your honesty is humbling. This past year must have been exhausting for you. Give yourself some grace to learn, however slowly, how to make the changes you need. Altering what you eat, moving a little more, getting outside, and logging your food are all things that might help you feel a little more in control, which *might* help with the anxiety and depression. Coming to these forums is a great way to get really good information, but also support. You're not alone in this. And taking care of five kids who are thriving is draining. No wonder you're struggling