Overwhelmed, stressed, and not sure where to start

cvdub16
cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
in Getting Started
I am defiantly not new to this site. I have posted before about my struggles to start again and yet I am still here. I am a 36yr old mother to 5 kids and work full time(I am currently in between jobs). I am 195lbs and would like to be about 140lbs to 135lbs. I suffer from depression and anxiety, since I have no insurance I currently don't have a way really to treat it than to try on my own. I currently don't do anything to workout or even exercise a little bit other than cleaning the house. I eat horribly right now and due to the depression I am sleeping a lot during the day since I can't sleep at night. I know the basics of what I need to do but I just can't get the motivation to even start. And I am starting to feel a little lost on where to start and how to start. I am just really lost this time around.

Replies

  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    Look into an online dr consult, like K Health. For a low price they will talk to you and if appropriate give you prescription. Many depression drugs have a low priced generic available and/or manufacturer coupons.
  • anna_nintey3
    anna_nintey3 Posts: 843 Member
    Write down the reasons why you want to lose weight and keep it somewhere like near your bedroom door or somewhere you'll see it in the morning to help you remember what you have to do for that day.
    Stick to smaller goals and maybe reward yourself with non food rewards as you hit 5kg or whatever that may help.
    Get a bunch of friends and log everything you eat even if it's totally way past the calorie target that way you're aware of what you're eating and the friends can try and help with their experience.
    Don't try and start at running 5km/day.. just do a walk around the block for the first week... Start slow.
  • sdailly13
    sdailly13 Posts: 37 Member
    Are your kids ok.
  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
    sdailly13 wrote: »
    Are your kids ok.

    Yes, my kids are perfectly fine I have a very supportive husband.
  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    From reading your post, with untreated depression and anxiety it may be a tricky time to start on a weight loss journey. However, I firmly believe that not only how much but WHAT we eat has a huge impact on our mental health. Ever hear of the gut-brain connection? It's a real thing.

    What if you reframed your thoughts from thinking about eating and moving more to lose weight to eating and moving more for your health, especially mental health? Maybe don't even think about how much weight you have to lose right now, or tracking how much you eat. I found that when I shifted my focus to eating for health, it really lessened my anxiety around losing weight. Of course, everyone will say you need to eat in a deficit to lose weight, and that's definitely true. However, maybe right now that's not the best place to start if the thought is overwhelming right now.

    I definitely agree that starting small is the way to go. What's one thing you think you could commit to for a week? It could be something small, like including more vegetables at lunch and dinner. Walking is also something that is easy and free, and being outside in the vitamin D definitely helps with mood. In fact, if you live in a cold-weather climate and aren't outside a lot, there's a good chance your vitamin D levels are on the low side, which can also contribute to mood disorders.

    One thing that is HUGE in weight loss and maintenance is shifting your mindset. If, right now, you're overwhelmed with the thought of losing weight, it can make your journey more difficult. Once you feel better with the small changes you've made, you may start to really believe you can lose the weight for good.You are doing this for yourself so you can feel better. While it can be hard and you may have slip-ups, that's okay. You just get back on that horse. You don't have to be 'perfect" all the time.

    As an aside, you may want to look into supplements that can help with mood. Some that have some evidence behind them are ashwagandha, theanine and and Omega-3 supplement, especially those geared towards mood. There's also St. John's Wort, but you do have to be careful with that one, mostly because it can interact with some medications.
  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
    Thank you all. These are great responses. :)
  • lmf1012
    lmf1012 Posts: 402 Member
    Baby steps...

    It is easy to get caught up in the cycle of not feeling like moving and yet you know moving will make you feel better. I would recommend start with some small changes and slowly add in new changes over time.

    A great start would be to get some sun and some feel-good exercise by walking. Even if you do not feel like it. Don't just leave it to chance though, schedule it. Work out a time to go as a family or when your husband can/will watch the kiddos.

    Next, make a healthy change to your diet. Give up or cut back on something you know is not good for you. Add in one thing that is healthy.

    Starting with some small wins can really help you build some momentum. Rome was not built in a day!
  • marciacameron13
    marciacameron13 Posts: 5 Member
    I think you are very brave to share your story and being a Mom is really hard work let alone 5 kiddos. This might not help but be kind to yourself, and I agree with one of the other comments, baby steps. Thank you for sharing your story and if I can help you by checking in I will.
  • Carp614
    Carp614 Posts: 191 Member
    Get some help for certain. There are more options now than ever if you're in a difficult spot.

    What helped me when I was feeling similar to how you are feeling was not caring if I failed. I was going to get started even though I felt overwhelmed, even though I knew for certain that I couldn't lose all the weight I wanted to lose. Even though I didn't feel like I was getting the support I wanted. I shut off my brain and just got up and did it. I did in 5 months what I haven't been able to do in 10 years this way. It's not perfect, but it worked.

    That thing in your head that is telling you it can't be done...it's a lie. You can do this!
  • Beverly2Hansen
    Beverly2Hansen Posts: 378 Member
    I struggle with depression that I can't use anti depressants for. I've learned a few things. 1. Lay in the sun or sit outside for 1-2 hours even if your in frumpy clothes. 2. Track your calories for at least 1 week without a deficit and cut down reasonably. If you're eating say 3,000 calories and go to 1200 your depression spikes massively. I do not ever start with a goal below 1720 calories. Removing gluten and dairy removes inflammation and can help hormones stabilize in some women this can positively affect depression and gluten free waffles, muffins ect are often lower calories. Drink at least 2 liters of water per day. When you're ready to add exercise do it in the morning or afternoon because it can cause insomnia if done at night. As for treatment if you need more help prioritize it even if you need to apply for state assistance to get depression help. We want you safe, healthy and thriving.❤
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    Another vote for baby steps. I don't have anxiety or depression, but I have adult kids who struggle with it. First and foremost, be your own best friend. Kindness to yourself will pay off. What would you tell a friend? Tell yourself that. The key to success is going to be sustainability, so make small changes that you can live with. Don't make this any harder than you have to. Can you take a 10 minute walk? Do that every day. Build the habit. Over time, you'll find that 10 minutes becomes 12, 15, 18... Start where you are, not where you think you should be.

    The suggestion to log everything for a week is another really good one. Find out honestly, how much are you eating? If you are eating 3,000+ calories a day, you can probably make a really small change that will shave a few hundred off. You can adjust that again in the coming weeks or months. This doesn't have to happen quickly, and you're more likely to stick to your plan if the changes aren't drastic.

    Your honesty is humbling. This past year must have been exhausting for you. Give yourself some grace to learn, however slowly, how to make the changes you need. Altering what you eat, moving a little more, getting outside, and logging your food are all things that might help you feel a little more in control, which *might* help with the anxiety and depression. Coming to these forums is a great way to get really good information, but also support. You're not alone in this. And taking care of five kids who are thriving is draining. No wonder you're struggling :heart:

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