Want to lose weight but boyfriend doesn't think I need to

fitnessqueen91 · April 2021

I've got a new boyfriend and he likes my body the way it is which is great as exes and other guys have made me feel insecure about my body. During COVID I gained 2 stone, but have managed to lose around 10 pounds lately. I'm 1.72m and I weigh 78kg (12 stone 4lb or 172lb). I'm a UK size 12/14. I feel toned and fit (I'm very active) and I feel that my body is looking for toned and lean. I'd like to get down to 70kg but my boyfriend doesn't think that I need to and thinks that I would be too thin. He likes my curves. How can I persaude him that losing a bit of weight will do me good? I'm still a bit overweight according to my BMI (26.3). How much weight do I seem like I should lose? When I'm around 11 stone I'm pretty slim. At my lowest I was 65kg and people said that I looked too thin.

littlegreenparrot1 · April 2021

Why not lose a bit, and see how you feel? Targets can be adjusted as you go along.

I know you know this really, but remember what is important is what you and your Dr think. You explain that you appreciate his concern, but actually for xyz reason its better that you lose a bit.
He gets to keep his own counsel and appreciate what a lucky man he is, or go on about things which may require further discussion about how it's none of his beeswax. If he's a keeper he'll work out the best course of action...

goal06082021 · April 2021

You don't actually need his permission to do this. You're an adult. He's kind to say that he likes you how you are, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to change your body if you want to - it's YOUR body, YOU are the boss of it. If he does decide that he doesn't find you attractive at 70kg, that's his prerogative and you can do better than someone so shallow anyway. What you want is someone who thinks you're hot now AND supports your endeavors to get even hotter.

I do want to say, though, that there are a distressingly high number of men out there who, when their wives/girlfriends start taking their health seriously and improving their physical appearance, become jealous, controlling, and abusive. Their comments go from "I like you just the way you are" to "You'll never be hot, you should stop trying so hard." They cajole you, call you names when you enforce boundaries ("come on, why are you being such a b**** about this"), manufacture emergencies to keep you focused on him instead of you when you're headed to the gym or out with friends/family. I'm not saying this is your boyfriend, I don't know him. But just, keep your eyes and ears open. It's harder to do right now in Covid-times, but to the degree you can, keep in contact with your social support network, family and friends.

needstobefit15 · April 2021

My husband doesn't want me to lose weight. Either but you know what this is our body they dont know what it feel like being in your body. I am on this journey for me and no body else. Well besides my kids they need their mommy around. I am trying to be in good health

owieprone · April 2021

Easiest way to lose weight, get rid of him! Only kidding.. mostly.

Tell him it's not up to him and you want to do it for yourself, and you'd like his support rather than pseudo-positive comments.
He might like you how you are but it's your opinion here that counts.
If he's a keeper he'll support you and stop making daft comments about you being too thin.

Bex953172 · April 2021

You just gotta do what you want to do.
Unfortunately it's not up to him, if YOU would like to lose that weight then you should.
Its very nice of him to be accepting of your body when previous boyfriends have made you insecure.

But ultimately it's what you thinkabout your body. I don't think you even need to persuade him, or even discuss it with him really. It's your body so you should just do it.

As for not sure how much you should lose, I would say lose a bit, see how you feel and then go from there

INTJmom · April 2021

There's a difference between "you don't need to," but being supportive and being invested at keeping you at a weight at which you're not happy. If he is desiring that you to remain at a weight you don't like due to his aesthetic preferences, it might be time to start questioning if this is really what you want out of a relationship. If you're trying to be healthier, he should be supportive.

CowgooCantAccessHerAccount · May 2021

Honestly, I've lost 60+ lbs and need to lose another 20 lbs to be comfortable in my body. My bf always compliments me and thinks I'm perfect just the way I am. But he's never discouraging about my weight loss. Your body, your temple. Don't need to convince anybody

88olds · May 2021

It’s all a big experiment. Lose some and see how you like it. Don’t concern yourself with a final goal. And pay attention to how you’re living. To hit a goal and stay there you have to live with it long term.

Want to lose weight but boyfriend doesn't think I need to

Replies

Categories