Setting unrealistic goals?

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feydruss
feydruss Posts: 349 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been needing to lose weight for a while, but only started being diligent about it August 1. So far, so good. But I see all these wonderful success stories and it makes me want to reset my goal weight lower and lower.

The last time I weighed less than 140 I was depressed and anorexic, and people said I looked awful. I'd like to now try for 120-125, but not in an unhealthy way. However, I haven't been that weight "naturally" (i.e. Without an eating disorder) since I was 17 and decided I was too fat.

Now as a 37 year old mother of twins, is it expecting too much of my body to try to achieve this weight again? Or should I just aim for a higher BMI and try to build as much strength and endurance as possible?

In a perfect world I would achieve a goal of single-digit clothing sizes and 20% BF. But is it unreasonable to try for something I haven't been either without being a teenager or very sick?

Replies

  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
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    I set my goal weight based on the charts this website has. I originally had a much higher goal weight because I've never been as small as the website says I should be to reach the high end of a healthy weight range.

    Consult the charts and you might check out mybodygallery.com to see some women at your height and the target weight you're considering.

    All this said, but my goal here is healthy... not necessarily 'skinny,' 'thin,' or bikini-worthy.
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
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    this is how i set mine: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/AggieCass09/view/goal-weight-established-by-bf-133493
  • uyent
    uyent Posts: 88 Member
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    hI! I have a question? Is the 120-125 lb on the low side of your BMI? I think, this is just my opinion but if you keep on losing weight with myfitnesspal and add in workouts, you'll start to feel great about yourself each and every day. I think you should go by what you feel and don't worry about the number. I am sure you'll look great not being a single digit size, you can own the two digit size girl! There's tons of hot women out there that aren't single digits.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    I don't think it hurts to have a goal, but you will just have to see how you look at feel as you get closer to that number.
    I've gone from a size 18 to a size 12 (Aussie sizes, I think our 12 is your 8) and don't really think I need to be much smaller. I'm still a few kgs above the high end of the "healthy BMI" weight but I've decided that the important thing now is not to keep dropping weight to meet an artificial goal, but to slowly inch down while I focus on learning how to eat right and exercise to stay at this weight.
    Like so many other people I've lost weight before (lots of times!) but I am spectacularly bad at keeping the weight off.
    So, my advice is to set small goals, celebrate them as you reach them and be ready to move your end goal to something that feels realistic and sustainable for you, once you get there.

    BTW, I think the goal of working on strength and endurance is a GREAT one! And remember that while BMI is an OK guide for a large population, it is a flawed tool for individuals. Use it as a guide, not a gospel.
  • ruststar
    ruststar Posts: 489 Member
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    You might be surprised that you can hit your body fat goals without hitting that weight goal. I had been aiming for 140 since that was the last weight I was happy at, but when looking at body fat percentage, based on the lean mass I have now, I only need to get to 170 or so. There was a time when I would have thought "170 - no way I want to be that fat!" (cue snotty teenager voice), but when I do the math it's clear - thanks to weight training and building lean body mass I can have 18% body fat(in the athlete range) and still be 30 pounds over my original goal. I had to unhook from the # and focus on losing body fat, not weight, and how my clothes feel. This weekend I put on a size 12 for the first time in 17 years. I would be happy with wearing a size 8-ish and being able to do all the activities I want to do. Plus one killer chin up...

    Anyway, knowing I'm only two pants sizes away from where I want to be has helped keep me motivated.
  • GaiaGirl1992
    GaiaGirl1992 Posts: 459 Member
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    it really depends on a lot what your healthy weight is. How about you aim for 150lbs, and see how you feel and look then?
  • jchester71
    jchester71 Posts: 124 Member
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    I think you need to be realistic for who you are, and what your body type is. The charts are a nice starting place, but they are generic. As a man I know that it is virtually impossible to be "athletic" and meet the goal weights. At my lightest post college weight (225lb at 6'1" and 8% body fat) I had to have a dr's exam and waiver to buy insurance because I was technically obese according to BMI calculations (as is Brad Pitt incidentally).
  • kleavitt1992
    kleavitt1992 Posts: 592 Member
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    at 5 ft 2 i don't think that is unrealistic just do it the healthy way and no biggie those are my goals and im an inch taller
  • Sararainmaker
    Sararainmaker Posts: 48 Member
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    BMI Charts are based on "Average Body Types"

    I personally can not go to the low end of the BMI due to my ... (ahem) chest size. :ohwell:

    You have to take into account bone structure, muscle mass and age... which these charts never do! Remember, at 17, you weren't even done growing yet!

    In the end, you basically want to get to a point where you are healthy and you are happy with the way you look and feel. If that is at the upper end of your healthy BMI, so be it!

    Also if you are concerned that you do not fit into the BMI as "average" you may want to talk to a nutritionalist or your doctor to see what they believe a healthy goal for you is.

    Good luck and keep the faith! :)
  • litlpineapple
    litlpineapple Posts: 63 Member
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    I think you need to be realistic for who you are, and what your body type is. The charts are a nice starting place, but they are generic...

    Exactly!

    I've based my goal weight on both my lowest weight ever and BMI. When I was at 140 last, I was told that I looked "sick". I felt like I was happy with my body. Everyone also carries weight differently. Shape adds to the look of weight tremendously and my shape has changed since I was 18. So, maybe 140 will look different? Probably. I was considering going lower but right now I'm just going to see how I look and feel.

    My goal is the marker for me. If I get to 145 and look great, I'll start maintaining. If it's not until 130, I will go lower than my original goal. Goals should be flexible and reflective of your lifestyle. Listen to your body and don't do anything brash. Good luck. :bigsmile:
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,411 MFP Moderator
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    I keep telling my wife, that weight is truely meaningless (and I do believe that) because no two people are alike (unless you are twins) so weight will vary on several factors. My suggested route is to measure inches (waist, hips, arms, legs, chest, abs, neck) and body fat because who cares if you are 140 lbs and fit in a size 2 (US again) or 125 and fit into a size 2.


    Also, keep in mind that you are older now and the older the body, generally the more body fat is required to help protect your organs and body parts. Also keep in mind that body naturally slows down the metabolism so it will be harder to burn the calories until you build up the muscle mass. I would set 10 lb goal increments and as you obtain those, re evaluate your goal. If you are stuck with wanting to do weight, I woudl start at 150 and then go from there.
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
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    Try setting smaller goals. When you hit them, then re-evaluate. My original goal was 140. I got there and re-set my goal to 135, then 130, then 125, and finally I am happy at 120. It feels so great to reach each goal and can really help keep you motivated. :flowerforyou:
  • Michelle9939
    Michelle9939 Posts: 291
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    I think 125 for your height is good. Your BMI would be 22.9. I keep going back and forth on my goal weight too. I am 5'3.5". First my goal was 128, then it was 135, then 125. Right now I just want to be healthy and thin. I think I will know my goal weight weight when I reach it.
  • feydruss
    feydruss Posts: 349 Member
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    Thanks for the advice everyone! Right now I have to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm trying to focus on day by day, pound by pound, and try to remain optimistic and determined to succeed, no matter what weight I end up at.
  • rayzerwolf
    rayzerwolf Posts: 203 Member
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    I wish I knew about this when I decided I wanted to lose weight this gives me an idea on how I may look when some of this weight comes off. It's good motivation for me.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I don't know how realistic or unrealistic your goals are, but from the chart, it looks like you are not even half way yet. I would worry about it if I pass beyond the middle point.
  • Missy0104
    Missy0104 Posts: 77
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    I've given myself an "idea" of where I want to be but it's been so long since I've been there and 3 kids later and I'm just not sure what I'd look like at that weight so my goal is to get to my health range and healthy body fat %. I just want to feel good in clothes so if I get there then I'm happy. If it's not the weight I THOUGHT would be my goal then that's fine. I just have no idea what end of my health range is best for me. Guess I'll find out when I get there. :)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I don't think there's much point setting a hard and fast goal. I started off just wanting to lose a bit of weight, then after seeing other people's goals, decided on 130 lbs as a good average for my height (5'5"), which I reached a few weeks ago. I am now 128 lbs and have decided I would be happier at 125. When I started out 125 seemed ridiculously small to me, post children with size 30HH boobs, but as I have lost weight, my bust has got smaller, my hips have shrunk, I have found the skeleton I have inside hasn't changed at all, it was just covered in a layer of fat.

    I would suggest just losing some weight and seeing how you feel about how you look.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I would suggest just losing some weight and seeing how you feel about how you look.
    I agree on this. Good suggestion.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    My goal weight would actually give me a BMI of 29.8, which is just short of obese. However, at that weight, I'd be at 8% body fat (I'm male.) In order to reach an "average" weight according to BMI for my height, I'd need to drop to 0% body fat, and then still lose about 10 pounds after that. In other words, I'd be dead. :laugh: Due to changes in body structure, it is unrealistic to set a goal weight based on a weight you used to have. The human body naturally gains weight as you get older. You could have the exact same measurements weighing 20-30 pounds heavier now than when you were younger.

    Definitely set your goal based on body fat percentage, and then whatever the scale says, the scale says. :drinker:

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