homecoming insecurities..

jan169
jan169 Posts: 38
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
The last week has been very hard for me. Physically, I worked so much and had so much schoolwork that I couldn't find time to get my workouts in. Emotionally, I just couldn't handle all of the stress of my senior homecoming approaching within the next couple of weeks. I know I've lost 15lbs, which should be something to celebrate, but today just brought me back to an all-time low. I'm still having so much trouble finding decents dresses that fit right and it just makes me feel like all of the work I've been doing is not worth it if I can't see results in the clothes I wear or the dresses I try to buy. The added insecurity of not having a date, really brings me down on top of everything. I know that if I was smaller, I would be more attractive and approachable to guys my age. It's a huge blow to my self-esteem, but I even though it's been like this throughout my high school years, I feel like since it's my senior year and I would like everything to just be perfect, it hurts even more.

Replies

  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    *hugs* sweetie.

    You have worked hard, yep there are hurdles still to go, but you are sooo much better off than you would have been if you hadn't done the work.

    SO, suck it up, get a lovely dress and enjoy yourself! I personally think you have a better time without the date anyway. You deserve having a great time, do not talk yourself out of it. You are doing something about the weight, you just have to be patient and accept you are on a journey, but live to enjoy every single day. Here is a secret - no one gets perfect.

    GG
  • TimetoLose_
    TimetoLose_ Posts: 15
    Girl, have fun with your friends at homecoming. Just keep looking, and I hope you find a dress that you love! =] I know what you mean with the date thing, and I never had a date to my homecoming dances, and it did hit my self- esteem, but having my friends with me definitely made it an awesome night =]
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I'll just tell you about how you won't care about this in a few years and hope that it alleviates some of the stress of thinking about what's not going right right now. *hugs* It seems like a big deal because this is your life right now, but you won't always feel this way. Shrug it off, chin-up.
  • jhoney8
    jhoney8 Posts: 43 Member
    I agree with everyone else. I didn't have a romantic date to any dance in HS, but I always had an awesome time. Hanging out with your friends and not getting involved with dating drama really can be the best. It's great when you find that dress that makes you feel fab, but really the whole experience is the most important thing. In a year, your whole life will be different. Have fun!
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    I'll just tell you about how you won't care about this in a few years and hope that it alleviates some of the stress of thinking about what's not going right right now. *hugs* It seems like a big deal because this is your life right now, but you won't always feel this way. Shrug it off, chin-up.

    My thoughts exactly! In a few years high school won't matter because you'll have moved on to bigger and better things and no one will even remember if you were the girl without a date. I didn't have a date to my senior prom but went with 3 other girls instead and had more fun at that one than I did at my sophomore or junior prom. High school boys are stupid so don't bank on anything they say or any way they make you feel. Keep up your hard work, focus on having fun with your friends, and don't worry about anything else.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
    It's confidence that's sexy...
    So "own it" what ever size you are.
    So you're not perfect... guess what no one else is either.
    BUT YOU ARE IMPROVING YOURSELF.... You certainly deserve to own that... It's something a lot of people don't have the courage to do.

    Smile, laugh, crack wise, revel in the moment and you'll be surprised at what comes your way.
    Keep an open mind, because it maybe not what you envisioned... It may be something better...

    Have fun...
  • iamrobyn
    iamrobyn Posts: 85
    Do you have Torrid where you live? They have dresses in size 12-24 for hipper young women. I can understand how not having a dress that makes you feel comfortable would contribute to make you feel uncomfortable. If you are lucky maybe there is one close to you. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Highschool is rough for many people for different reasons. Try to enjoy yourself. Think of this as practice or your before picture for prom!
  • BanderaOutlaw
    BanderaOutlaw Posts: 35
    I'll be honest, I had a date to every prom and homecoming and dance back in high school, and with 100% consistency, my date made the experience miserable.

    I concur completely with everyone else - find a dress you like and are most comfortable in (even if it's imperfect), go with friends, and just enjoy yourself. You don't have anything to prove to anyone - just be yourself, and enjoy yourself. You needn't be the life of the party nor the wallflower, just be you.

    When you go, take the time to stand aside and just people watch for a song or two - you'll quickly see that there are a whole lot of people just not having fun because they're hung up on this thing or that, and it doesn't matter one iota whether they're skinny or overweight or have a date or not.

    You've already made great progress, you're on a path that is going to carry you to the body weight that you want - it just takes time, forgiveness, and persistence to get there.

    Don't let the dating scene or your weight get in the way of your enjoyment of your senior year of high school, the fun and enjoyment and satisfaction is found where you welcome it. It takes a shift in attitude and perspective that is very challenging when you're in high school, even when you're in college - but little steps, little improvements daily, and you'll find yourself not only progressing toward your fitness goals, but enjoying life irrespective of your weight.

    Senior year can be great. So can college freshman year. And so can college senior year, and the years between, and your life after - don't trick yourself into thinking this is your "one chance" at forever memories. There's a lot of life to live. :-)
  • TooFatToFit
    TooFatToFit Posts: 285 Member
    One of my biggest regrets about my high school years were that I worried way, way too much about how I looked, having dates, etc. I guess we all do. So while I can totally understand (and remember) your feelings, try to take to heart what us "been there, done thats" are saying about how much less significant that will be to you later in life. I certainly don't want to minimize your feelings, but don't let them ruin your fun.
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