Why there hell do I continue overeating despite how bad it makes me feel?

Losingthedamnweight
Losingthedamnweight Posts: 535 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Like psychologically it makes no sense. I feel fat and shame and like my life is just so much worse than it would be if i was fit, but what do I do? I go through a drive thru and get junk food. Like why? Every second of my day I’m reminded how fat I am and still I do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do

And this has been going on for years but I won’t just listen to the logical side of my brain that knows how to lose weight

Replies

  • Godlord1488
    Godlord1488 Posts: 37 Member
    Losingthedamnweight wrote: »
    Like psychologically it makes no sense. I feel fat and shame and like my life is just so much worse than it would be if i was fit, but what do I do? I go through a drive thru and get junk food. Like why? Every second of my day I’m reminded how fat I am and still I do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do

    And this has been going on for years but I won’t just listen to the logical side of my brain that knows how to lose weight

    i feel it can be habitual. i cant offer suggestions but maybe a re route to break the cycle. for me its i get up at 1am like the mummy and eat nordic rye bread with seeds and yogurt like the wolfman. ...its all habit. im often not hungry its just what i do. cycles can be hard AF to reverse and even harder to decimate completely. whats ur regular.mindset when u overeat? are you thinking emotionally or just calm? i find when im calm and happy i tend to over do it.
  • Godlord1488
    Godlord1488 Posts: 37 Member
    mistypoison wrote: »
    Addiction

    not sure OP is a food addict but they might have an issue with habitual eating thats spurred from boredome rather than addiction
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    mistypoison wrote: »
    Addiction
    No. Because addiction would mean completely stopping eating food. You can't somewhat drink alcohol and be a recovering alcoholic. Same with cocaine or any other drug. You stop it altogether. You can't do that with food.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Losingthedamnweight wrote: »
    Like psychologically it makes no sense. I feel fat and shame and like my life is just so much worse than it would be if i was fit, but what do I do? I go through a drive thru and get junk food. Like why? Every second of my day I’m reminded how fat I am and still I do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do

    And this has been going on for years but I won’t just listen to the logical side of my brain that knows how to lose weight
    It's habitual behavior and the hyper palability of the junk food. It tastes good so you want to keep eating it. You can find more nutritious and lower calorie foods that taste good too, but that takes having to make it or buying it from a company that can.
    Also CONVENIENCE. Being fit takes a lot of effort and discipline to a point. The reason the average American doesn't do it (65%) is because they lack the desire to devote the time and effort to do it.
    You have to find in you the reason you WANT to do it.
    You can have junk food once in awhile (I eat junk food daily because I can control my calories and portions) but you'd need to get used to eating better by just doing it HABITUALLY.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    There's a lot of ways to do this, but recognizing that your behavior is the opposite of what actually makes sense is a really important first step. Whether or not, or to what extent, self-destructive behavior like overeating is addiction is up for debate, but regardless of whether it's a true addiction overeating can still be a very ingrained habit and maladaptive coping behavior. That doesn't mean you can't overcome it - many of us here on the forums have stories about that. The important thing is to not think it's impossible to stop. It can be hard, for sure, but it's not impossible. Some people use self-help books, some people see a therapist (to work on alternative coping methods and to fix whatever makes you feel the need to cope). I think everyone would benefit from really solid nutrition education. I thought I knew a lot but have learned even more from being here.

    I haven't binged in many years (I was just a boring old overeater when I was actually at my highest weight last year, believe it or not), but when I did, my real problem was actually anxiety, which I had never learned to deal with and was deeply ashamed of, so I tried to pretend it wasn't there. As you can imagine, it wasn't a particularly effective strategy! I was able to stop by simultaneously really working with the anxiety (seriously uncomfortable but necessary) and making binging less attractive by making it harder to do - so I did things like not keep certain foods in the house, deleting food delivery website accounts and throwing away menus, and restricting my "fun money" in the budget. For a time I didn't even leave the house alone, and I would only bring as much money as I was absolutely sure to need, in cash. In the moment, it made binging annoying enough that I was willing to actually put into practice the healthier coping methods instead, and so over time I replaced the maladaptive coping behaviors with the better ones, and as they became more natural and habitual I could ease up on some of the restrictions I'd placed on myself, because binging didn't have the attraction it did before.

    You can absolutely overcome this. It takes patience, and diligence, which are not things you can just turn on overnight. But they will be applicable in every area of your life, so all practice is good practice! :)
  • Onedaywriter
    Onedaywriter Posts: 326 Member
    It’s a very complex issue. You’ll get better and better. Keep working on it!! I still backslide all the time after years. But just keep moving forward and stop beating yourself up over it.

    At least now when I backslide I overeat on “better” food LOL! But seriously that helps too because I can’t go too far afoul if eating non junk.
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
    It is habitual. If you drive past the same fast food place all the time, you get used to just automatically stopping there to get something. Change your routine, drive a different route so you aren't triggered by seeing the fast food place and automatically stopping. I have to do that with Burger King. If I have to drive by it for some reason, I tell myself, "I am not going to stop here today. I don't need it". Sometimes just consciously making that decision helps.
  • Hayer1
    Hayer1 Posts: 18 Member
    Losingthedamnweight wrote: »
    Like psychologically it makes no sense. I feel fat and shame and like my life is just so much worse than it would be if i was fit, but what do I do? I go through a drive thru and get junk food. Like why? Every second of my day I’m reminded how fat I am and still I do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do

    And this has been going on for years but I won’t just listen to the logical side of my brain that knows how to lose weight

    Psychologically it makes sense to me. "I feel fat and shame" - the idea of feeling "fat" implies a belief rooted in diet culture that there is an ideal body type to achieve in order to find happiness and that anything less means you are less of a person and not worthy of love (either from others or from yourself) and that happiness lies on the good side of the scale. This belief is compounded with the observation "my life is just so much worse than it would be if I was fit" - why? As a "fat" person are you horrible and "fit" people living a best life? I invite you to consider this a mistaken belief and to explore the possibility that fit people also have negative feelings of shame and unworthiness, and "fat" people can love themselves unconditionally. Fit or fat, it's how we see and feel about ourselves and where we fit in this world, that is where quality of life is, not in size.

    I also feel "shame" is a dark place where we hide from others and ourselves out of fear and self-loathing. Being in this space makes it hard to climb out of the darkness. Once we shed light on shame and start admitting to ourselves our imperfect fallible bodies, minds, beliefs, sense of self, past, present etc. and do some work owning and accepting and ultimately liking (if not loving) who we are, the light paves a way to changes - first in mindset, then in deed. People of ALL sizes and fitness levels feel shame. We all have shame. That never magically disappears with the weight.

    "Every second of my day I'm reminded how fat I am". This is why you "just won't listen to the logical side of my brain" - how can you hear her? This constant negative (and untrue) mantra is way to loud!

    What you are feeling is normal. Sucky, but normal. I gently invite you to explore if some of your beliefs about yourself, fatness and thinness might not be accurate or serve you.

    The way we speak to ourselves is everything.
  • joyanna2016
    joyanna2016 Posts: 323 Member
    Well I would recommend you self evaluate whats going on and how you are feeling during the times when you overeat. If you see a trend, you will be quicker to recognize it when it begins to happen again. The next step would then be to develop a plan to combat it. For instance, I have learned recently that I eat when I am stressed, especially in social situations. I know this about myself now. Never knew I was a stress eater! Now I can do some self talk and get a water bottle and do much less "damage" .
  • Hayer1
    Hayer1 Posts: 18 Member
    I'm sorry, I think I misgendered you! Please read "how can you hear her" as "how can you hear him".
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Losingthedamnweight wrote: »
    Like psychologically it makes no sense. I feel fat and shame and like my life is just so much worse than it would be if i was fit, but what do I do? I go through a drive thru and get junk food. Like why? Every second of my day I’m reminded how fat I am and still I do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do

    And this has been going on for years but I won’t just listen to the logical side of my brain that knows how to lose weight

    I hear you want to break the drive through habit, but what PLANNING have you done to make that happen?

    I used to get fast food a lot because it was convenient. When I wanted to stop doing that I spent a few hours on the weekend meal prepping for the week so that M-Th there would be dinner ready for me to heat up at home. Fridays I got takeout at lunch and saved half for dinner.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
    Have you tried journaling about it? Keep a notebook in the car, and any time you feel an impulse to go through a drive through, write down 1) what time it is, 2) how hungry you REALLY feel, and 3) any emotions you're having. Look for patterns! Is it a habit because you always get junk food at lunchtime? Are you triggered by genuine hunger? Or are you triggered by boredom/stress/depression/etc? Seeing why you do what you're doing might help get you off the drive-thru autopilot and start making intentional, better choices.
  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    I think you're the only one who can really answer that by doing a deep dive into why you think this occurring, using some of the very valid reasons listed here.

    I can tell you that I was once in your shoes...feeling disgusted with myself, yet at the same time continuing to eat too much and get food from a McDonald's drive through (or wherever). I totally agree that if you don't value yourself and use shame and guilt to try to get yourself to lose weight, it won't work.

    For me, I think there were a couple of reasons I continued to fail, despite not liking how i looked. I think I always thought I couldn't really enjoy eating and felt like trying to lose weight would feel like punishment. Subconsciously (or maybe even consciously) I felt I would fail anyway, so why bother trying? Losing weight does take work and requires real change, which can feel intimidating...like "I'll never be able to eat that again!"

    I saw this a lot, but I think one of the most important things in being successful in losing and maintaining weight loss is changing one's mindset about weight loss and how he/she views him or herself. I think firstly, it's important to be honest with oneself and figure out if he or she is really ready to put in the work necessary to lose weight. It's okay to not be ready yet. Making a pros/cons list may even help you decide if you are ready. Viewing making healthier choices and eating less/moving more as something you're doing for your own health and well-being and not just because you're disgusted with how you feel and look, is a good place to start when you are ready.

    There will be times when you goof up, stray off the path, and lose your way a bit--and that's totally normal and acceptable! As long as you don't beat yourself up about it, let it entirely derail you and can learn from your mistakes, you'll be successful.

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