Binge Eating

Slinkybaz
Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
New philosophy - honesty rather than hiding.

So, let's start with logging food no matter what. I've seriously binged today - it's only 3pm and I'm already 1400 calories over my daily allowance. I feel horribly sick and like my stomach might burst.

As time goes on I feel like I am slowly getting to know myself as a person. I have loads of stuff I need to be getting on with - a To Do List a mile long. But when the list is long, I'm my own worst enemy. I will do anything to avoid it and then suddenly the day is over and nothing is done and the list just gets longer.

So I watch TV, I play games and then the guilt and self hate starts and then I start eating, and eating, and eating and so on until the physical pain is so bad it draws me away from the emotional pain and hate going on. I also pick the skin on my fingers down to the blood - another bad habit of mine.

So, I guess I've gotta get motivated and plan my days out to stop my destructive cycle by taking control of my day and getting stuff done.

This isn't a daily thing. It's an occasional thing (the bingeing is but the picking is pretty constant)

If anyone has any helpful advice based on their own experiences, I am all ears.

Replies

  • Its so easy to concentrate on the negatives and the things that are frustrating in life. I love to watch The Biggest Loser but I always think, "Yeah, I could drop 50 pounds too if that was the only thing I had to focus on all day!" Let's face it, life happens, and often dieting takes a back seat to the "necessary" things in life. What needs to happen is we (and I know that I need to listen to this myself) need to put our health at the top of our list!

    I think a good place to start is holding yourself accountable. Write down every single calorie you eat and drink... don't be ashamed, just be honest! You will start to see the things that put you over your limit and think twice about eating it. A little hesitation only needs a touch of willpower and you will put it down.

    Don't give up and don't punish yourself when you slip. If you need a friend, I'm always here :smile:
  • There are times I get like this too. I know I have things on my to-do list that need to get done but I waste the day, eat to feel numb about it, and eventually just feel worse. The good news is you've identified your problem; procrastinating and then the subsequent guilt from it. So now you need to prepare yourself for the next time you feel this situation arising. What will make you truly feel better, the food or marking something off your list? Play out the scenario in your head. You know that if you just get up and run a load of dishes you'll feel better and avoid the binge, so visualize yourself making that choice and following through. I find that if I just pick one item on my list to do and I actually get up and do it, it usually triggers a chain reaction of doing other things on my list. Also, look at your list, is it just big broad statements like "Clean the house" "Organize closet" etc? Try breaking it down into smaller tasks that you can focus on and feel good about checking each off. So have the header be Clean House but underneath make bullet points of small accomplishable tasks like - wash dishes - pick up toys - run a load of laundry - vacuum living room etc etc. Even though it may seem to make the list longer, after each small tasks you get to cross something off and know that you've accomplished something! If it feels like making it longer and more overwhelming then stick with what works for YOU! Also, if you avoid buying the foods you know you'll turn to for comfort then they won't be in the house when you want to binge. Hope that helps, just a few things I've tried and had success with =)
  • I am so like you so what I did was get rid of everything bad everything and stuffed myself with veggies.
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,518 Member
    Honesty is good, really good! Because hiding is so destructive, and fools no one. Trim down that "To Do" list, so it is sensible. Good luck.
  • msowens
    msowens Posts: 15 Member
    As time goes on I feel like I am slowly getting to know myself as a person. I have loads of stuff I need to be getting on with - a To Do List a mile long. But when the list is long, I'm my own worst enemy. I will do anything to avoid it and then suddenly the day is over and nothing is done and the list just gets longer.

    As far as the mile long to-do list, here's what I do: pick 3 things that you will *commit* to getting done today. Then, ignore the rest of the list -- A trick is write the list out on a piece of paper, then tear the paper so that you only have the top 3 items and stash the rest of the paper somewhere out of sight. Now you only have 3 things to do!

    When you get those three done, celebrate with a little reward -- 30 minutes of TV or games, read a book for a little bit, go for a walk -- whatever you would rather be doing. Depending on how long it took you to do all that, tear another 3 to-do's off the list.

    Once you get control of your list process, the next -- deeper -- question is: what sorts of things are filling up your list that you feel the desire to avoid? Are these things that you actually need or want to do? Or are they things that you feel you should be doing out of fulfilling other people's expectations or seeking their approval?

    Good luck!
  • Genie30
    Genie30 Posts: 316 Member
    Ironically I find that the biggest distraction from binging is doing the housework. Keeping busy means that I don't have time to put food in my mouth. I know it's not easy though and when I'm in that head space I really have to force myself to do it. I think about the outcomes of each action: I clean = I don't binge = weight loss achieved OR not cleaning = binge = self hate and not meeting my goals.

    Keep on working at it, you'll get there in the end.
  • BrewerGeorge
    BrewerGeorge Posts: 397 Member
    I hesitate to post this because I'm kind of new here, and making snap judgements from single posts is always risky. Still, it sounds to me like food is just a symptom of your problem instead of your real problem.

    If you're not eating because you enjoy food or because you're just to lazy to eat right, but as a knowingly self-destructive behavior, it seems pretty similar to the girls who cut themselves. You might need more help than just a diet and exercise program.

    Sorry if that sounds judgmental; I have good intentions.
  • Read Women Food and God by Geneen Roth! It is AMAZING!!!

    You have to be really willing to face your fears, anxieties, etc. but this book holds your hand the whole way through!
    LIFE CHANGING!

    I used to stress eat ALL THE TIME, but this book has cured me of that. HONESTLY. I am not going to even TRY and summarize it, but just remember it is never about the food, it is about you.

    If you want to change your ways and are willing to be honest (and kind) with yourself, this book is SO for you!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    Thanks guys - it's nice to not feel alone and also hear supportive answers rather than a "For Gods sake, just pull yourself together woman" type approach. I love your advice thanks guys.
  • 2ht2hand1e
    2ht2hand1e Posts: 116 Member
    If you do not mind me asking, I know this might sound like an odd question, but is your to-do list typically in your head, one you write out, or both?
  • I used to be a binge eater, too...just like you! I read a lot, talked to close friends, and really got a handle on it...especially the emotional eating. I took a year 'off' from ANY kind of weight loss, until I could get to grips with my compulsive, binge eating. Now, when I want to eat something when I'm not actually hungry, I can usually figure out what the actual problem is...and deal with it before heading to the fridge. I am also able to just eat ONE cookie from the pack, and put them away, which is a HUGE step! Of course I still overindulge occasionally, but it's usually simply because something tastes so lovely, I don't want to stop! :)

    Don't be too hard on yourself...it's a really difficult thing to work through. Add me if you want...I can't claim to have any answers, but just knowing you're not alone sometimes helps!

    Kristin
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    I hesitate to post this because I'm kind of new here, and making snap judgements from single posts is always risky. Still, it sounds to me like food is just a symptom of your problem instead of your real problem.

    If you're not eating because you enjoy food or because you're just to lazy to eat right, but as a knowingly self-destructive behavior, it seems pretty similar to the girls who cut themselves. You might need more help than just a diet and exercise program.

    Sorry if that sounds judgmental; I have good intentions.

    I didn't think that was judgemental. I thought you wrote it with care and I didn't find it insulting at all. I know I have "issues" and know already (from previous counselling) what they are from, at least partly, though I do believe I have other issues to be explored also. Don't think I could afford counselling but any books anyone would recommend would be great. Thank you for your thought.
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    Read Women Food and God by Geneen Roth! It is AMAZING!!!

    You have to be really willing to face your fears, anxieties, etc. but this book holds your hand the whole way through!
    LIFE CHANGING!

    I used to stress eat ALL THE TIME, but this book has cured me of that. HONESTLY. I am not going to even TRY and summarize it, but just remember it is never about the food, it is about you.

    If you want to change your ways and are willing to be honest (and kind) with yourself, this book is SO for you!

    The only thing that puts me off this book is the mention of God. I'm not religious so would not want to read a book if God was a theme running through it. Would this book be suitable for me?
  • You have Binge Eating Disorder by the sounds of it, the presence of other self-harming behaviours is very common with eating disorders. I would go and get treatment as it is a known condition and recovery programs are available. Dieting probably won't help you as you have a mental illness, I sincerely am not judging you in any way and have huge admiration for your bravery in coming on here and telling all because the compulsion for sufferers is to hide the behaviour. You have taken the first step to recovery and I wish you all the very best on the rest of your journey.
  • MySlimGoals
    MySlimGoals Posts: 754 Member
    There are times I get like this too. I know I have things on my to-do list that need to get done but I waste the day, eat to feel numb about it, and eventually just feel worse. The good news is you've identified your problem; procrastinating and then the subsequent guilt from it. So now you need to prepare yourself for the next time you feel this situation arising. What will make you truly feel better, the food or marking something off your list? Play out the scenario in your head. You know that if you just get up and run a load of dishes you'll feel better and avoid the binge, so visualize yourself making that choice and following through. I find that if I just pick one item on my list to do and I actually get up and do it, it usually triggers a chain reaction of doing other things on my list. Also, look at your list, is it just big broad statements like "Clean the house" "Organize closet" etc? Try breaking it down into smaller tasks that you can focus on and feel good about checking each off. So have the header be Clean House but underneath make bullet points of small accomplishable tasks like - wash dishes - pick up toys - run a load of laundry - vacuum living room etc etc. Even though it may seem to make the list longer, after each small tasks you get to cross something off and know that you've accomplished something! If it feels like making it longer and more overwhelming then stick with what works for YOU! Also, if you avoid buying the foods you know you'll turn to for comfort then they won't be in the house when you want to binge. Hope that helps, just a few things I've tried and had success with =)

    Thank you. I've only been on this website for about 10 minutes, but I already feel as though you've helped me with one of my problems quite well. I'm going to print that out and put it on the fridge!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    If you do not mind me asking, I know this might sound like an odd question, but is your to-do list typically in your head, one you write out, or both?

    It's actually a good question, and an appropriate one for me. When it's all just in my head as it is at the moment, it's like a system overload. I just think I've got more than I could possibly ever do and then I do nothing. If I take the time to write it down, sometimes this can really help me and I get on and do stuff but more often than not I will still self-sabotage.
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    I'm with you there. It's fantastic advice thank you :-)
    There are times I get like this too. I know I have things on my to-do list that need to get done but I waste the day, eat to feel numb about it, and eventually just feel worse. The good news is you've identified your problem; procrastinating and then the subsequent guilt from it. So now you need to prepare yourself for the next time you feel this situation arising. What will make you truly feel better, the food or marking something off your list? Play out the scenario in your head. You know that if you just get up and run a load of dishes you'll feel better and avoid the binge, so visualize yourself making that choice and following through. I find that if I just pick one item on my list to do and I actually get up and do it, it usually triggers a chain reaction of doing other things on my list. Also, look at your list, is it just big broad statements like "Clean the house" "Organize closet" etc? Try breaking it down into smaller tasks that you can focus on and feel good about checking each off. So have the header be Clean House but underneath make bullet points of small accomplishable tasks like - wash dishes - pick up toys - run a load of laundry - vacuum living room etc etc. Even though it may seem to make the list longer, after each small tasks you get to cross something off and know that you've accomplished something! If it feels like making it longer and more overwhelming then stick with what works for YOU! Also, if you avoid buying the foods you know you'll turn to for comfort then they won't be in the house when you want to binge. Hope that helps, just a few things I've tried and had success with =)

    Thank you. I've only been on this website for about 10 minutes, but I already feel as though you've helped me with one of my problems quite well. I'm going to print that out and put it on the fridge!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    This is a great piece of advice too
    As time goes on I feel like I am slowly getting to know myself as a person. I have loads of stuff I need to be getting on with - a To Do List a mile long. But when the list is long, I'm my own worst enemy. I will do anything to avoid it and then suddenly the day is over and nothing is done and the list just gets longer.

    As far as the mile long to-do list, here's what I do: pick 3 things that you will *commit* to getting done today. Then, ignore the rest of the list -- A trick is write the list out on a piece of paper, then tear the paper so that you only have the top 3 items and stash the rest of the paper somewhere out of sight. Now you only have 3 things to do!

    When you get those three done, celebrate with a little reward -- 30 minutes of TV or games, read a book for a little bit, go for a walk -- whatever you would rather be doing. Depending on how long it took you to do all that, tear another 3 to-do's off the list.

    Once you get control of your list process, the next -- deeper -- question is: what sorts of things are filling up your list that you feel the desire to avoid? Are these things that you actually need or want to do? Or are they things that you feel you should be doing out of fulfilling other people's expectations or seeking their approval?

    Good luck!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    You have Binge Eating Disorder by the sounds of it, the presence of other self-harming behaviours is very common with eating disorders. I would go and get treatment as it is a known condition and recovery programs are available. Dieting probably won't help you as you have a mental illness, I sincerely am not judging you in any way and have huge admiration for your bravery in coming on here and telling all because the compulsion for sufferers is to hide the behaviour. You have taken the first step to recovery and I wish you all the very best on the rest of your journey.

    Ouch! That's not to say I find your comment insulting, but just scary personally. I do binge but it is not a regular occurrence these days. Going on MFP has made it so that it's infrequent. The self-harm (mild as it is really) has been a long term issue. It used to be my feet and I would pick them all over down to the blood and then it would hurt when I walked. Now it's milder but I've moved to my fingers and have to wrap them in tissues when I make them bleed badly but it's generally just one or two fingers so not too bad.
  • You have Binge Eating Disorder by the sounds of it, the presence of other self-harming behaviours is very common with eating disorders. I would go and get treatment as it is a known condition and recovery programs are available. Dieting probably won't help you as you have a mental illness, I sincerely am not judging you in any way and have huge admiration for your bravery in coming on here and telling all because the compulsion for sufferers is to hide the behaviour. You have taken the first step to recovery and I wish you all the very best on the rest of your journey.

    Ouch! That's not to say I find your comment insulting, but just scary personally. I do binge but it is not a regular occurrence these days. Going on MFP has made it so that it's infrequent. The self-harm (mild as it is really) has been a long term issue. It used to be my feet and I would pick them all over down to the blood and then it would hurt when I walked. Now it's milder but I've moved to my fingers and have to wrap them in tissues when I make them bleed badly but it's generally just one or two fingers so not too bad.

    I'm so sorry! I never meant to insult you at all, I suppose that because I don't buy into the stigma surrounding mental illness having suffered with one myself and being a musician I would say at least half of my friends also have some kind of issue ranging from mild depression to severe OCD, I just didn't see that it could be taken as an insult. I know a bit about eating disorders and your post pretty much described the symptoms of binge eating disorder, I thought I would be helping by pointing it out, and believe me when I say I have teetered on the edge of having a similar disorder, so I sincerely hope that now you can see that I did not mean to insult you in any way. I just don't see it as such a big deal, it's no more shameful than catching a cold, it's just a potential symptom of modern life and quite straightforward to treat once you realise you may have a problem. Again I am really sorry if you took what I said badly, I never meant any harm.
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    I didn't find it insulting - I said I didn't but it must have read wrong, sorry. Don't worry, I wasn't insulted. It was just an Ouchy - oh dear, I've never thought of it like that before kind of thing.

    A bit like a friend of mine who used to drink 2 bottles of wine a day and her husband a whole bottle of vodka a day and said they weren't alcoholics. I said well what makes an alcoholic then and she said needing a drink as soon as you wake up. Though I did partly agree with this I did say surely it's a problem if you drink that much EVERY day!

    I suppose it may be the same kind of thing - just because I'm not doing it regularly doesn't mean it's not a problem. And I've always known the picking is really a problem - but it's so mild I thought it was ok. But you should have seen the state of my feet at my worst picking stages. I don't know how I managed to walk!

    You have Binge Eating Disorder by the sounds of it, the presence of other self-harming behaviours is very common with eating disorders. I would go and get treatment as it is a known condition and recovery programs are available. Dieting probably won't help you as you have a mental illness, I sincerely am not judging you in any way and have huge admiration for your bravery in coming on here and telling all because the compulsion for sufferers is to hide the behaviour. You have taken the first step to recovery and I wish you all the very best on the rest of your journey.

    Ouch! That's not to say I find your comment insulting, but just scary personally. I do binge but it is not a regular occurrence these days. Going on MFP has made it so that it's infrequent. The self-harm (mild as it is really) has been a long term issue. It used to be my feet and I would pick them all over down to the blood and then it would hurt when I walked. Now it's milder but I've moved to my fingers and have to wrap them in tissues when I make them bleed badly but it's generally just one or two fingers so not too bad.

    I'm so sorry! I never meant to insult you at all, I suppose that because I don't buy into the stigma surrounding mental illness having suffered with one myself and being a musician I would say at least half of my friends also have some kind of issue ranging from mild depression to severe OCD, I just didn't see that it could be taken as an insult. I know a bit about eating disorders and your post pretty much described the symptoms of binge eating disorder, I thought I would be helping by pointing it out, and believe me when I say I have teetered on the edge of having a similar disorder, so I sincerely hope that now you can see that I did not mean to insult you in any way. I just don't see it as such a big deal, it's no more shameful than catching a cold, it's just a potential symptom of modern life and quite straightforward to treat once you realise you may have a problem. Again I am really sorry if you took what I said badly, I never meant any harm.
  • I'm not religious AT ALL and had the same hesitation. God, as Roth referes to it, is more of a spiritual awareness. It has nothing to do with religion or God as we think of it.

    CANNOT SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK!!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    I'm not religious AT ALL and had the same hesitation. God, as Roth referes to it, is more of a spiritual awareness. It has nothing to do with religion or God as we think of it.

    CANNOT SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK!!

    Right answer lol! I'll definitely be looking this up. Thanks for the tip.
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