For my Dad... Success stories and suggestions for men age 55+

My dad is 60 this year. All throughout my childhood he was a rotund guy, possibly close to 300lbs at his heaviest - maybe less, he's also not a tall person, standing about 5'5". 10 years ago he started going for daily walks and eating less*, and he's dropped about 100 lbs and kept it off all this time. It can be done.

(*My dad was also diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure at age 49. I don't know if he consulted with a dietitian to get that piece of it under control. He's always been a decent cook, and as far as I know he just started replacing Twinkies with vegetables, basically. But his diabetes and blood pressure are well-controlled through diet and exercise alone, I don't believe he's currently on medication, and I know he's not insulin-dependent at this point.)

tpacheco311 wrote: »

@goal06082021 Does your dad use any technology, like a fitbit or Apple watch to track the calories he's burning? I'm debating upon buying my dad some kind of tracker but it would have to be very easy to use, since he is not terribly tech savvy.

No, I don't believe so. He never really tracked anything besides blood sugar and maybe blood pressure - his goal wasn't really "weight loss" as much as it was managing his diagnoses. The fact that he's half the man he used to be now is more of a nice side effect than anything he was purposefully aiming for. I don't think he even changed very much about his diet, aside from the aforementioned veggies-for-Twinkies sub, he just increased his TDEE by purposefully moving more. Once he had formed the habit of going for a daily walk, he got a dog, and now the two of them rack up probably about 15-20 miles a week together. That's a bad reason for your dad to get a dog, but I know there's also evidence to suggest that animal companionship is good for older people, so that might be worth looking into.

Me and my SO lost in our 50’s. Me first, 30lbs, and after watching me do it he followed as I hit maintenance. He also upped his activity, A shuffling run, as he puts it, and swimming.

With regards to the running. Why not sign you both up for a 5 or 10km charity race. That is what we did - he runs, I walked (I don’t run). Your dad could do the walking. I started training with a goal to do the walk in 90min, SO trained to do the run in 60min.

Although we didn’t do it together (different catagories) we had fun training on the track close to our house.

SO was a good swimmer so he did that for a while where I did aqua fit. One day he complained about lack of mobility, both his exercise routines were repetitive action forward motion, I invited him to join in the aquafit. He did! He also couldn’t believe what a workout you could get from it depending on fitness level and effort. He continues with it for the mobility aspect. Not sure how your dad would take to that as it is thought to be for doddering old ladies on some circles, it’s not, it’s good rehab for anyone.

Yoga, SO’s workmate talked him into trying that. I went too. SO did it for a year then the class times changed. I found classes that I could schedule in and continue, he didn’t.

At 67 I am forever trying different classes, at 60 SO sticks with his running, swimming, and aquafit.

I lift heavy (for me) weights. So has, unfortunately, no interest at this point, I wish he did.

Some type of weight lifting would be good for your dad as he ages.

Nether of us have ever used a tracker. I’m just not interested in data, SO finds his watch that gives timing splits is enough for him.

Maybe see if you can get your dad interested in something, then get him a nifty thingy to accessorize the activity.

Oh, what keeps me active is my love for travel. I decided it was no fun being old and seeing the world from a bus. If I was travelling I was going to participate and live the world full on.
(Plan a trip that includes achievable activities)

Hope you can pick a couple of things from all this that may help.

Cheers, h.

"Too old" really all too often starts in someone's head.

I'm fortunate in that I've always loved exercise and being active so that retiring at 57 was an opportunity to do more of the things I like without full time work and running my own business stealing most of my waking hours.
Last year was my biggest ever cycling year with 359 hours / 5600+ miles and this year looks like I'll do more.
I do long distance events where it's not unusual to see people in their 70's and even 80's cycling all day and at a decent pace, physically fit and mentally alert.

When I retired I knew the physical side would take care of itself for me just because I enjoy it but also had to consider how to keep mentally alert without the impetus of constant change that working for a living imposes on you. I started a completely different but part time and active job as a contrast and a challenge to learn new skills.
I've discovered there's a big market for someone with a variety of skills from decorating, to fencing, to carpentry to tree surgery, general household repairs etc. etc.
The demand is greater than I need (or want) so I can pick and choose interesting projects or choose to help nice people.

Your Dad needs to find a reason to engage his brain and do something with his time, hopefully the physical side of health would follow on.
What skills or hobbies does he have or had in the past? IMHO the first step is just to get off the sofa and out of the house. I'm not convinced solo exercise indoors at home is the way forward (can't see it lasting long) - some social contact would be much better I would think. Would volunteering appeal to him? Helping others could be a big help to him too.

My birthday presents have included bike kit, sportswear and a variety of DIY tools.
An activity tracker might provide some challenge and/or reveal to him how little he is moving.

Ooh @sijomial the latter half of your post hit on some of the things I was just going to post on- looking at past interests and social life especially.

Just from my observations, I am of that age group that friends and family are retiring/have retired like crazy. What I have observed in general is that my male friends have struggled more than my female friends with the adjustment. I don’t know why. I know my sister arranged with her company to back out of the job slowly reducing days per week. She had a retirement plan. Her husband retired, full stop and was lost so got a PT consulting job, then re retired.

If your dad isn’t into moving, exercise, or volunteering, maybe a part time job close to home would help jiggle him up a bit.

I say the above because it sounds as if he lives alone and doesn’t have the contacts/friends he had when working and that lack of social interaction can hit you hard.


There is also the whole thing of walking into a new environment when you are older (probably any age), it can be intimidating and, if some of those things are labeled ‘Pensioner’ specific, you can fight against the whatever because of that labeling, especially if you are on the younger side.

Another thing to look at is when he last had a check-up. He may be a little deficient on some vitamins, or he may be a little depressed.

It is a shame he isn’t into travel. Would he like to visit you? That could be a nice treat and you could plan some activities, at his level.

Oops, another thing. Read his local on line news paper etc and mention events upcoming in the area casually when you chat to him.
(I did that with my mum in Scotland as I live in Canada. It ended up I’d suggest then she would report)

Cheers, h.

Ps, my son who is an iron man triathlete knew the last thing to do would be getting me a fitness tracker. I’m too contrary.
I have never owned one so tend not to reccoment them.

Oh @tpacheco311, I really feel for you. It is so hard when we can see a loved one needs help, but it is nigh on impossible to give any, or direct him to any.

Unfortunately, it really is down to him and his wife- all you can do is plant some subtle seeds and hope they take root.

This may not be immediate, but one day down the road your dad may come up with this bright idea and you will bash your head against a brick wall because you suggested it months ago and got poo-pooed, just be excited and cheer him on.

Try not to push, it’s hard because down the road you will always ask ‘could I have done more?’ Know that he is a grown man and able to make his own decisions, all you can do is leave a breadcrumb trail of hints and accept the choices he makes. (I know it breaks your heart)

I am assuming having a good heart to heart with his wife about your concerns is out of the question.

Cheers, h.
(The bottle shop could get him out and socializing at least)

tpacheco311 wrote: »

My dad has gained a significant amount of weight since taking early retirement and his general health has been on a steady decline. He isn't doing anything active with his retirement, so his days consist of watching TV, drinking alcohol and eating.
He now has back pain, that I'm assuming is a result of his sedentary life style. I'm very worried about his health and when I've discussed it with him, he tells me that he feels "too old" to get back in shape. I would love to hear some success stories and suggestions that I can relay back to him.
For Father's Day, I would like to get him a gift that helps him get started with a healthier lifestyle, so any suggestions there would be helpful too!
TYIA!!

57 and in BETTER shape than many average 20 year olds. I workout daily and with the exception of leg day (my favorite workout day) my workouts are 30-45minutes. I only train one body part a day and DON'T diet but do watch my calorie intake.
But it DOES take the desire to want to get in shape. He can be offered all the inspiration, encouragement, etc. but he's gotta want to make the change.
Just start with something small like walking. If you have time, find a time that you can walk with him and shoot the bull to maybe inspire him. Sometimes just spending time with your family even if just for a 30 minute walk does wonders.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition