Is it rude to...

AlyRoseNYC
AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
edited October 2 in Fitness and Exercise
I live across the street from the beach. There is a boardwalk that stretches a few miles where a lot of people walk/run/bike etc. When I take walks by myself I listen to music and can go over an hour walking. But, when I am walking with someone without my music, I tend to get tired ad bored much faster. Would it be rude to have a walking buddy and ask if they would mind if I listened to music? It's just nice to have someone there with you, but if I am walking at a very brisk pace anyway, it's not like I can hold a decent convo.

Thoughts???
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Replies

  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Rude? I think if you ask someone to walk with you, then pop in your earbuds, then yes, it is. The benefit of having someone with you is their company, no? If you don't enjoy their company, find a new walking buddy.

    If you're not talking to the person, why have them there?
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    I think it would be kinda rude. And I would stick it out the first time but I doubt I would take you up on any future walks. In my humble opinion....
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
    maybe you can have one earbud in and the ear facing your partner can be free to listen in case they speak?
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    Its possible. If you and your walking buddy are walking at brisk pace and each can listen to their own music then its a win-win...ya got your music and the company of a friend. Also you could try just putting the music on low volume and with just one ear bud in. Then you can hear the music in the backdrop but still carry on convo with your pal.
  • BeLightYear
    BeLightYear Posts: 1,450 Member
    I often just wear one earbud when I am working (lawn work, etc) with my husband, that way I can still hear him and I still get to hear my songs:bigsmile:
  • I hate it. My husband does it to me on our bike rides. Whenever I want to say something I have to make a scene to get him to take them out and listen and then he gets annoyed. If you want to listen to music go by yourself, if you want the company spend time to at least make small talk.
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
    Rude? I think if you ask someone to walk with you, then pop in your earbuds, then yes, it is. The benefit of having someone with you is their company, no? If you don't enjoy their company, find a new walking buddy.

    If you're not talking to the person, why have them there?

    Well, my friend I have the same goals. We also don't live in the safest neighborhood, which is why I try to walk with a partner as much as possible. When we used to hit the elliptical in the gym, we'd use the machines next to each other and use our earbuds to listen to music. But, I've been walking on my own lately or with my husband. She wants to start accompanying me, and I just feel weird telling her that I do better if I listen to music.
  • NemesisJRM
    NemesisJRM Posts: 248 Member
    Why not just play your music at a reasonable level through a speaker rather than head phones, then you get the benefit of both :)
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    What does your 'walking buddy' think that's all that matters.
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
    maybe you can have one earbud in and the ear facing your partner can be free to listen in case they speak?

    Well, I just had a "duh" moment lol. This is a great idea, but I still wonder if she will find it rude...
  • I don't think this is rude... my friend and I agreed to go walking together but then were RELIEVED when the other didn't want to spend the time blabbering about. We were both concerned that we'd have to spend the whole time talking... I mean, we talked for maybe the last ten minutes of our hour or so walk, but other than that, it just wasn't needed. Maybe if you explain that BEFORE you go on your walks together so you can walk with someone who is like-minded. If anything, you can go out for coffee or something afterwards and do your talking there.
  • mistigoodwin
    mistigoodwin Posts: 411 Member
    Ya, I think that is rude. Why have them walk with you if your not gonna have a convo? Might as well just go alone and enjoy your music. Just my thoughts.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I think if you ask for the company for the safety aspect and make an agreement that you'll be listening to music instead of socializing and the other person is OK with this, then it's fine.

    But when I exercise with friends, it's partly to get the workout, but also to catch up and talk. If I just want a workout, I go myself. And I have no problem conversing while walking briskly, or even jogging. It might be full of some heavy breathing and pauses, but I do it all the time.
  • You just really need to find the right walking buddy. Don't feel awkward telling them that you want to listen to music to keep you pumped up for a good walk. I think a good number of people are like that (and you said that's what you and your friend did at the gym, so why should walking be any different?); I know I am. A good, up-beat song can keep me going much longer than if I were just talking to somebody.

    Good luck!
  • ursy87
    ursy87 Posts: 287
    I love when I go out with my friend walking, we can be out for 2-3 hours easy, chatting the whole way, okay we might have to stop talking at the tougher uphill bits, but I find it not only good for my body but for my head too. I suppose it depends on who you are out with?...
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    maybe you can have one earbud in and the ear facing your partner can be free to listen in case they speak?

    Well, I just had a "duh" moment lol. This is a great idea, but I still wonder if she will find it rude...

    This is what I do as well but I ask the person first if they mind, so far no one has denied me of my music! I would just ask her if she would find it rude. I totally understand tho, I do much better with music then without.
  • kbrogan78
    kbrogan78 Posts: 158 Member
    My sister does this when we walk/jog together. She puts in her ear bud on the ear away from me so she can have the beat of the music to motivate her but keeps the volume low enough that we can chat as well. During the jogging intervals I can't talk anyway because I'm breathing so hard. :)

    I don't think it's rude as long as you're upfront about it. It sounds like you and your friend are used to an arrangement like this already, so she won't be offended.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Rude? I think if you ask someone to walk with you, then pop in your earbuds, then yes, it is. The benefit of having someone with you is their company, no? If you don't enjoy their company, find a new walking buddy.

    If you're not talking to the person, why have them there?

    Well, my friend I have the same goals. We also don't live in the safest neighborhood, which is why I try to walk with a partner as much as possible. When we used to hit the elliptical in the gym, we'd use the machines next to each other and use our earbuds to listen to music. But, I've been walking on my own lately or with my husband. She wants to start accompanying me, and I just feel weird telling her that I do better if I listen to music.

    It sounds like a situation where you might be able to get away with it. Just ask her, explain that you're struggling with motivation right now (maybe bending the truth a little, but...) and you find that music gets you in a good rhythm.
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
    OK when we hit the boardwalk tonight I'm going to ask her if she would mind if I pop in an earbud on my right ear, so I can listen to music while walking and also be able to talk. I hate putting people in awkward situations though, and I would hate for her to feel forced to say that she is fine with it if she is not. But we both want walking buddies for security reasons, so I guess I'll just to have to see how it goes...
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
    Thank you all for the suggestions and input. I don't really visit the exercise forum too much because I am just starting to build up my endurance to start the 30DS soon. Very nice people here...
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Rude? I think if you ask someone to walk with you, then pop in your earbuds, then yes, it is. The benefit of having someone with you is their company, no? If you don't enjoy their company, find a new walking buddy.

    If you're not talking to the person, why have them there?

    Agreed, but I usually combat this issue by putting only one bud in, for "back ground noise" (fyi- the one on the side they are not walking, so that I can carry a convo with them).
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    Why not just play your music at a reasonable level through a speaker rather than head phones, then you get the benefit of both :)

    If you both have similar taste in music, I think this is a great idea!
  • Syntria
    Syntria Posts: 46 Member
    Its not rude. Its rude if they're talking and you do it and start ignoring them.

    I walked with my friend just last night and was wondering if we would chat or listen to music. We both put our eat buds in and occasionally talked, but mostly listened to music.

    Ask your friend to bring their music and tell them you have a few songs you really like to listen to when you walk that you find motivating or something. Listen to the music low enough if they do talk you can hear and respond.

    \
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
    i don't think it's "rude" but it might be hard to ask a friend. why not try finding someone to run/walk with whom you do not know very well who also wants to have another person running with her? if i went with a friend, i would definitely want to talk, but if i went with a neighbor/co-worker/fellow athlete who likes to run/walk, then i would not mind at all if she had in ear buds.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
    First thing is do you both go the same pace? If not then I wouldn't find it rude. My husband and I go biking together, but his pace is faster than mine. Since I don't have anyone next to me I take my nano and jam it up. If you both go the same pace are you walking hard enough that it's hard to talk? If so, pose it like that to your buddy i.e. Hey since we're walking hard and can't talk anyway, would you be offended if I listen to my music? Lastly, if your buddy is someone who easily takes things the wrong way, I would suggest leaving it alone.
  • i think it depends if your friend thinks you guys will be talking during the walk or not. My husband and I go for walks together and we eash listen to our own music. I just like having someone there with me... it doesnt mean you need to chat the whole time!
  • proctorgirl07
    proctorgirl07 Posts: 68 Member
    Its possible. If you and your walking buddy are walking at brisk pace and each can listen to their own music then its a win-win...ya got your music and the company of a friend. Also you could try just putting the music on low volume and with just one ear bud in. Then you can hear the music in the backdrop but still carry on convo with your pal.

    I knew we were friends for good reason!! I totally agree with you!!

    You have been walking by yourself, "she asked" if she could come along with you and eventhough you enjoy her company there are always moments of silence that I do better with music. I totally put my music on low and just one ear bud in so that if my friends who accompany me start talking I can hear them. It would be different if you asked your friend to come with you then put both ear buds in. Plus you might ask your friend she may wish she could do the same thing since yall use to do it at the gym. She may miss her music too but since she asked to walk with you she was worried about being rude. If she is your friend she wont get mad for you at least asking. You will be able to tell after just one walk with it in how she feels.
  • alyssa92982
    alyssa92982 Posts: 1,093 Member
    I'd say it depends on your friend, if they don't mind and perhaps want to do the same go for it, otherwise I'd say no
  • Melmade
    Melmade Posts: 349 Member
    I think if you two are there more for safety then I'd definitely keep one earbud out anyway. Having said that, if your friend is a workout buddy and you two are there to motivate each other, then definitely talk to your friend about it. Yeah, 1 earbud in. I'd hate to be mugged or worse in the name of fitness. You can always talk later for coffee or something.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    I think it depends on how often you see the person and if they wear earbuds too. My mom and I like to walk together when she comes for a visit. She likes to wear ear buds, but I hardly get to see her because she lives 2.5hrs away. It does kind of annoy me because I would rather take a leasure stroll and chat than a huffin and puffin walk and not be able to talk to her. On the other side if you have a friend that you like to work out with and challenge, I don't see why not. People go to arobic classes and/or work out on gym machines with their friends and they don't spend the whole time talking. I think you need to assess the situation and the friend you are talking about and see how they would take it.
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