On My Journey...Alone

Hi everyone,

I started my weight loss journey in Jan. 2021 and have successfully lost 25 lbs. so far, which I am proud of. However, I suffer from severe depression and as I navigate trying to get more professional help with it, I am still going through this weight loss journey anyways.

I have almost no support through this. I am single, I have very few friends; my best friend has stage 4 breast cancer so I would never put this burden on her and beg for her support as I go through this, she has enough to deal with. My parents are enablers, even though their hearts are in the right place, they have not been helpful to me and my siblings aren't really around or talk to me very much at the present time.

I am truly alone in this season of my life and this part of my journey. I am reaching out to others that feel the same and are experiencing this as well. What are some ways you have found help you through these emotions and the feeling of doing it all alone and being alone in general?

(Sidenote: Though I appreciate and respect those who use their religion to guide them, I am an Atheist and don't want any spiritual advice, thank you)

Please add me as a friend if you would like, I would love to have more friends on MFP.

Replies

  • ilovecereals182
    ilovecereals182 Posts: 212 Member
    I think we’re friends already! Looking forward to supporting each other!!
  • lmf1012
    lmf1012 Posts: 402 Member
  • Iwannabeapunkrockmom
    Iwannabeapunkrockmom Posts: 61 Member
    edited June 2021
    Sending you love and hugs. Being and feeling alone when you don't want to feel or be alone is a truly yucky feeling. I found a great psychiatrist who I see online... The shut down actually made mental health services a little bit easier to get so I'm thankful for that. Hopefully you can find the support you need soon in that regard.

    When it comes to your health journey, I understand feeling alone too. I actually didn't even tell anyone that I was trying to lose weight till I had already lost 30 pounds because I didn't have faith that I could do it. The only thing I told my husband was that I'm changing the way I'm eating and I asked him to stop making me eat extra (he's obsessed with feeding me). And even though it's public at this point that I'm losing, it's not like I have other people to share the journey with, which is why I read the forums. Honestly, I think going at it alone has forced me to be more accountable to myself for my decisions every day. It has forced me to take control of my life in a way I never have, instead of just coasting along. I suffered tremendously from victim mentality and have turned it around to a winning mentality. I don't know if I could have done that unless I scooped up the courage just to go at this on my own.

    That being said... There are some great people here who can be a great support when you need it if you just reach out and ask. Sending love your way.
  • SoulOfFire1514
    SoulOfFire1514 Posts: 29 Member
    I am alone in this battle for my health, too.
    I don't mind being alone, for the most part. I tend to be an introvert, and seem to be able to keep myself on track.
    But having others to help support, from a distance, even to check in now and then, is always welcome!
    Add me, if you would like!
    I could use the support, and I will do my best to support in return! ;)
  • EyeOTS
    EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
    edited June 2021
    Same. We can be alone together ;)
  • g2renew
    g2renew Posts: 142 Member
    edited June 2021
    My experience: learning to distinguish between 'being alone ' and 'being lonely' took me awhile. I flip flop between being shy and being gregarious, so when i am in my outgoing phase, feeling lonely is truly terrible.

    On worst days, I just try to sleep it away, hoping to find what I need in my dreams. Other times, I try to do things I 'should' enjoy spread throughout the day. For example: food or beverage that is more expensive than normal, or professional manipedi, along with reading or old happy movies.

    Stretching my comfort zone to go to a movie or restaurant alone or find a pleasant venue to people watch or take a class I normally wouldn't are helpful for me, too. This has an added benefit of possible interaction with others that has a defined amount of interaction that I can control.

    The most important thing for me is to stop any negative thought when it starts. As stupid as it sounds-and looks!-saying "no!"out loud helps with this, but takes time. Snapping a rubber band against the wrist does the same thing, but hearing 'no' works best for me.

    Having my surroundings neat and clean helps with my depression. Getting started decluttering is the hardest. But any task where i can get a feeling of accomplishment is such a boost to my feeling of worth! The better i feel about myself, the easier it is for me to try more.

    I need as much positive reinforcement as I can get just to function, so small goals towards bigger tasks is my process for everything. Conversely, negative feedback can derail my best efforts. So, I keep my 'self talk' steered toward congratulations on my baby steps and away from berating myself for what I was not able to do.

    Keeping 'noise' going that has a positive message helps with my loneliness and depression. Music and movies or TV set to channels that play old sitcoms is my main coping mechanism.

    As you get healthier and more self confident, taking classes or joining community groups can help you connect with others who have similar interests. Just guard your well-being by keeping time around people who are negative very limited.

    More of what helps me -

    - get outside everyday. If weather or circumstance doesn't permit, open windows.
    -
    -keep a journal or post its of 3 good thoughts. It can be as simple as 'I lost 2 lbs this week' or ' The sky was a pretty gold at sunset.

    And the very best advice I can give-do something for someone else! Get involved in local Meals on Wheels, or pick up trash around your local park. There are always groups who serve the homeless, the disabled, the foster child who need volunteers. If this is outside of your current ability, you can always send a note of encouragement or thank you to those in your community-local, state, or nation. It can be a card or even an email. You don't have to agree with everything they stand for in order to appreciate their willingness to serve. Make a list and check it off when one is sent. You can take a measure of joy and satisfaction in knowing that, even though your day may be dark, you have been able to bring a bit of happiness to someone else. You may also find a friend or two!

    Best wishes😊
  • candysashab88
    candysashab88 Posts: 71 Member
    These are wonderful comments . I feel alone in this journey as well, but I come here to get motivation to do my self care. I will add u as a friend and we can get thru this together
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 587 Member
    This sounds hard! Are you able to work full or part time to have some human connection there?
  • brendog79
    brendog79 Posts: 60 Member
    I started my journey 13 months ago being single 41 with seeing none of my family in 14 years and only talking to my dad from time to time. I was 382 lbs and have lost 130 lbs in less than a year and still get really down on myself but I have to realize where I started from and never imagined I could change so quickly. I have plateud the last 4 months but thats due to over eating. I'm trying to pick myself back up and get back into healthy eating and daily walks and want to lose about 30 lbs in 3 months to get to my goal weight. I have changed jobs recently and am in a better environment and one of my coworkers came along with me that I'm friends with and he reminds me of how I was a year ago.
  • LaraeTX
    LaraeTX Posts: 669 Member
    Added you
  • NerdyScienceGrl
    NerdyScienceGrl Posts: 669 Member
    My empathy to those that feel alone in their journey. I set out to do this on my own and have continued down the path by myself. Because weight loss is such a personal decision I don’t feel like most of the people in my life completely understand. I do know that my emotional/mental well being has dramatically improved since shedding some pounds. For me, The link between my emotional and physical health can’t be understated, and I’ve learned to prioritize the mental first and the physical becomes much easier. I hope that joining this community will help you feel supported. There are a lot of very insightful and encouraging people and stories to draw from. 🤗
  • ik126
    ik126 Posts: 4 Member
    Ive read most replies here and could add my own struggles too, however I'm reach to put a hand out to those reaching including wickedfantasy, I'm both currently in a journey of weight loss, & suffered from loneliness, also a qualified counselor side certified ironman coach so have a good basis of health and fitness knowledge without claiming to know all, I would love to be there for others in anyway. please feel free to go into more details of your current/past struggles. You're all worth something regardless of background or personal beliefs. As a human being I'm here, feel free to add me If you like. Ps I'm not looking for any financial or personal gain apart from the satisfaction of 'trying' to be there for other human beings with my limited capacity.