Fun but super stressful vacation
IllustriousBee
Posts: 70 Member
I posted this in my blog, but I'm sure it will get more traffic here. I'll summarize my upcoming vacation:
- Multiple families
- Approx. 20 people
- Several young children
- Me: tiny but fit, needs very low calorie, preferably also nutritious meal options
- Them: YUM food! Why are you on a diet, you're skinny already!? Why aren't you eating that!? You get the idea.
- Me: I need A LOT less food than you, so split it with me?
- Them: EWW healthy stuff, no.
- Me:
Guess I'll waste a bunch of food. I am used to frequent, small healthy meals, so this will be a huge adjustment. At least it's only a week.
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Replies
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Sounds like you got this well-planned out, nutritionally! Kudos on getting to spend family time: a privilege more of us will have soon 🙌🏿2
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It's only a week, you'll be fine.
"Progress" isn't erased in a week. You're super lucky to have family to visit with, please don't get into discussions with them over what or how much you eat, people don't get it. Change the subject! Or eat the mac and cheese once in a while. You'll be okay.
You've got this. 6 -
cmriverside wrote: »It's only a week, you'll be fine.
"Progress" isn't erased in a week. You're super lucky to have family to visit with, please don't get into discussions with them over what or how much you eat, people don't get it. Change the subject! Or eat the mac and cheese once in a while. You'll be okay. You've got this.
I agree - I'm just back from a week with my family and went through the same thing - I've gained two pounds but would not give up the yummy "cheat" food, drinks, and fun. Just grab some easy wins where you can (I was able to hit the gym twice and snuck in healthy alternatives for myself without much fanfare) and cherish the time with them 4 -
Oof, I feel you on this. I'm not tiny, but am actively losing weight, and participate in a annual big group trip with a lot of other families and expect to run into some of the same stuff you say here. Our trip is scheduled in a few weeks. We do all the cooking and food prep ourselves (we rent a house), so I won't be stuck with restaurant sized portions, but it's definitely going to be the kind of stuff that can be prepared quickly, that's "kid friendly" and uncomplicated, etc. Basically very different than how we normally eat at home.
It is only a week, and we'll be doing a lot of hiking and outdoors stuff, and these are friendships I really treasure, but I can still safely say I don't love the food situation.
I normally try to just not stick out. For the most part in social situations, people don't notice if I don't take a dessert or if I load up on whatever veggies are available. I try to just work within the parameters I have and not make a big deal about it. Since it's group prepped my strategy is to try and eat last (it helps that I can do this because my little kids need help getting their food first), so there's usually not many people milling around the kitchen by the time I get to fixing my plate. If you have access to a fridge I definitely think it's a good idea to pack stuff for at least one meal per day - lots of healthy breakfast and lunch fixings don't take up much space. You can save money and calories for more fun meals later that way, and nobody else is the wiser. 2 -
I empathize. I'm going on vacation in August, primarily it centers around fair week and baseball. There will lots of fattening foods, always greasy sausages and heavy summer salads with all the mayonnaise and bacon and no shortage of desserts plus a ton of alcohol. Kids, elders, lots of people and lots of eating. I am trying to think of ways to negate this as well. My parents and brother were just down for my daughter's graduation and I feel like I just got my eating back on the healthy track and I don't want to veer. Virtual hugs being sent your way. Hopefully the focus centers on fun activities and beautiful sights and not so much on the food, hopefully. At least you are forward thinking and working out a plan now.
Adding: Fair week entails many fried things on a stick and cream puffs plus so much more. I plan to enjoy it, though. Maybe I can burn it off walking through all of the barns all day. Now you've got me thinking about it, good thing!1 -
Not sure why you need more traffic but my take on this is you do you and they can do them.
I find it best for me to ignore or divert any comments on what I am or am not eating
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I'm on my last day of vacation. I ate the foods but tomorrow I'll be back at it... such is life.3
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I have a similar trip planned for August. My issue isn't so much that the family loves high calorie foods (they do) but that when I am with them it seems that all self-control vanishes. I always intend to skip the donuts and ice cream, but once there, I indulge mindlessly. Since it's only a week, the consequences won't be that bad, except in my head. Why can't I say no?1
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spiriteagle99 wrote: »I have a similar trip planned for August. My issue isn't so much that the family loves high calorie foods (they do) but that when I am with them it seems that all self-control vanishes. I always intend to skip the donuts and ice cream, but once there, I indulge mindlessly. Since it's only a week, the consequences won't be that bad, except in my head. Why can't I say no?
Yes, that's typically my issue, too.
My family is not aggressive/intrusive, so they would never comment on what I am or am not eating.
But, on vacation, we tend to go a little nuts with food. We joke about lunch desserts...none of us eat dessert after lunch except when on vacation. We are very active on our trips, so that helps a LITTLE, but definitely consume more than we burn.
I just get back to my normal routine once I get home, with little/no damage done. And I don't weigh myself for at least a week...I really don't need to see that inflated water-retention number. 1 -
My mom is a food pusher. (She's just being hospitable.) At family picnics I stave this off by filling my plate with bulky but low calorie food like green salad and/or say I am saving room for dessert. In my case, on July 4, I really am saving room for peach cobbler, but one could always say that and then not eat dessert.
At normal meals I just say, "No thanks" a lot.1 -
I don't do conflict over food.
I especially don't do conflict over food with people I care about.
I do have boundaries.
The longer version of this is I do not make commentary on someone else's food choices - what, how often, or how much - or their size. In turn I don't tolerate commentary on my food choices - what, how often, or how much - or my size.
I am not going to be at a dinner out with family out and commenting on calorie counts of food options or pointing out that I need less food than them and asking them to split with me (ask to split with me without additional commentary I might do). I'm also not going to tolerate 'ew healthy food, why are you eating that when you're already skinny' from them if I'm opting to have a salad, either.
Just go on vacation, be with family, don't be rude or cave to it. Eat food and move on. It's just food. It's a week. It's not going to make any great difference in the grand scheme of things, either way or for anyone.
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Thanks for all the comments! These are all great points, especially to just focus on having fun and not worry about all the food stuff. I guess I'm mostly dreading the comments on my choices. I also feel like if I do go to the gym at the hotel, I'll have to be sneaky about it to avoid any comments. So many people don't understand that it is possible to actually enjoy living a healthy life. I actually like going to the gym, and I like eating colorful, healthy foods. Just because I am already fit doesn't mean I don't need/want to continue making healthy choices. That doesn't stop once you reach your goals. That's why it's called a "lifestyle change" and not a "diet until I reach X."2
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IllustriousBee wrote: »Thanks for all the comments! These are all great points, especially to just focus on having fun and not worry about all the food stuff. I guess I'm mostly dreading the comments on my choices. I also feel like if I do go to the gym at the hotel, I'll have to be sneaky about it to avoid any comments. So many people don't understand that it is possible to actually enjoy living a healthy life. I actually like going to the gym, and I like eating colorful, healthy foods. Just because I am already fit doesn't mean I don't need/want to continue making healthy choices. That doesn't stop once you reach your goals. That's why it's called a "lifestyle change" and not a "diet until I reach X."
If it helps at all I've found not explaining myself shuts down a lot of the commentary - it might still be commentary but there isn't a lot of conversation that can be had around 'I'm going to the gym' and leaving. Or "I'll have the grilled chicken salad, thank you" to a waiter.
They might say something but giving them a confused look at that point and carrying on shuts most people up, at least in group settings. So does a mildly toned/bland "Because I want to" or, if really rude, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!".
And to be honest shutting them up at the first of that kind of remark is usually my goal.
The more you say the more their is to respond to and the longer that crap drags on.
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I live in the city and our entire summer is like one giant vacation. I take my kids to theme parks on the regular during the summer. Theme parks aren't known for their healthy options, lol. Surprisingly, I've had great luck with my health journey even eating food at the theme park. A healthy life includes fun and family vacations. It's the decisions you make in the long run that make the biggest impact. You can still choose the best option FOR YOU even on vacay. When I'm at the theme park, I simply get the healthiest thing I can find. Luckily, I'm the mom, so my kids don't flinch when I tell them we're sharing. We share at every restaurant we eat at because restaurant portions are so huge. But you better believe I indulge in the occasional pizza at the park. The occasional pizza isn't how I got here... Eating entire pizzas way too often, with candy for dessert is what landed me on MFP. It's the little decisions that add up OVER TIME that have a big impact, not the few moments you live it up on vacation. You're gonna do great AND you're gonna have fun! Ignore the peanut gallery (family) comments about the decisions you make. I have fooled my family into thinking I order healthy food because it's what I like, lol. Bahaha. (Far from the truth). Even though people make occasional comments, they probably notice less about you and what you're doing than you think. People are really just consumed with themselves.3
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wunderkindking wrote: »IllustriousBee wrote: »Thanks for all the comments! These are all great points, especially to just focus on having fun and not worry about all the food stuff. I guess I'm mostly dreading the comments on my choices. I also feel like if I do go to the gym at the hotel, I'll have to be sneaky about it to avoid any comments. So many people don't understand that it is possible to actually enjoy living a healthy life. I actually like going to the gym, and I like eating colorful, healthy foods. Just because I am already fit doesn't mean I don't need/want to continue making healthy choices. That doesn't stop once you reach your goals. That's why it's called a "lifestyle change" and not a "diet until I reach X."
If it helps at all I've found not explaining myself shuts down a lot of the commentary - it might still be commentary but there isn't a lot of conversation that can be had around 'I'm going to the gym' and leaving. Or "I'll have the grilled chicken salad, thank you" to a waiter.
They might say something but giving them a confused look at that point and carrying on shuts most people up, at least in group settings. So does a mildly toned/bland "Because I want to" or, if really rude, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!".
And to be honest shutting them up at the first of that kind of remark is usually my goal.
The more you say the more their is to respond to and the longer that crap drags on.
Seconded. To hell with their comments, you do you. They can say whatever they want, you don't have to stick around to listen to it. Or, if you do (like you're in a car/elevator/otherwise not able to literally stand up and leave the area), make it as boring as possible for this line of conversation to continue. "Okay" followed by a subject change is a fine response to unsolicited opinions and advice, then go ahead and do whatever you were planning to do anyway, because you are actually the boss of what you put into and/or do with your body, thanks. If being rude about other people's body and health is how these people want to spend their vacation, that's their business, but you have other plans.1 -
IllustriousBee wrote: »Thanks for all the comments! These are all great points, especially to just focus on having fun and not worry about all the food stuff. I guess I'm mostly dreading the comments on my choices. I also feel like if I do go to the gym at the hotel, I'll have to be sneaky about it to avoid any comments. So many people don't understand that it is possible to actually enjoy living a healthy life. I actually like going to the gym, and I like eating colorful, healthy foods. Just because I am already fit doesn't mean I don't need/want to continue making healthy choices. That doesn't stop once you reach your goals. That's why it's called a "lifestyle change" and not a "diet until I reach X."
Hmm. I wouldn't sneak to the gym, personally. I wouldn't make a big issue of it, either, just go and fit it in around other activities as needed. (I actually have done this when traveling & sharing a room at arts retreats where my friends, roommates, and the general run of participants were overweight/obese, inactive, and very out of shape for our age. There were a few arch comments, but I just let them blow past without reaction. They do like it when I load the luggage cart and push it for them, lift/carry supplies boxes, which maybe helps. 😉)
If you're doing something fun, and someone makes a joke about the misery of working out, it's fine to say it was fun, but otherwise I wouldn't make a big issue of it. The first trip you do this, it will be eccentric and attract more comment. Likely, on future trips, it will be less interesting as comment fodder. People get used to things.
I hate to be preachy, but I will: If this is a multi-age group, with families and kids, you have an opportunity to be a model that regular exercise is a fun, routine thing for people to do, not a crazy behavior that should be hidden as if shameful. If you don't shame others for being inactive, they don't get to shame you for being active, y'know? If they try, look at them like they're from another planet, and laugh.
I'm with the others on one week of eating not being a big impact even if there's some indulging, and on changing the subject if food choices come up, plus avoiding anything that starts that conversation (but not not changing food choices *just* to avoid comment, either). People will get used to you being you. (I'm a long-time vegetarian - 47 years now - in an extended family of meat-eaters, with friends who are almost entirely meat-eaters. I was used to people joking about my diet loooonnng before weight loss, experienced in letting it roll off without amplifying the "fun" others would claim they're having. You'll gain skills in that, no worries.)4 -
You do you..Eff them if they don't like it.2
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