Advice?

biignacio
biignacio Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do people feel when someone starts giving you advice on your own diet even though what you’ve been doing has been working, and yet many of my family members and friends always try to give me better advice on how to improve. I can’t tell whether or not to be mad or annoyed at them. Has anyone else come across this issue?? Oh

Replies

  • DD265
    DD265 Posts: 651 Member
    I don't get annoyed because I know my friends and family mean well, but they aren't pushy either.

    I like 'thanks, I'll look into that' as a neutral response. Whether I actually look into it depends on whether I think it could be beneficial to me.

    If it's coming from a negative place, I have no issues with telling somebody to sod off, diplomatically or otherwise depending on the context.
  • jessicastanfill
    jessicastanfill Posts: 69 Member
    I love the response above - I agree. I try to be kind. I think people mean well. I often get feelings of defensiveness about it but I try to look inside and ask myself why I'm getting so upset - its my problem :)
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    Maybe? Thanks..that's interesting... when what I'm doing stops working.. I'll try that.
  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,997 Member
    This is one area where having a load of allergies really helps. Whatever they suggest? I can’t eat.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,205 Member
    This question has the possibility of coming off as annoying or critical, but it’s not at all — are you initiating a lot of conversations with them about your goals or progress or calorie counting? If so, my guess is they are trying to participate in the conversation and aren’t sure how. Just a thought! Maybe try purposefully to talk about other topics more often and they will stay off the weight loss topic too???
  • DW1Texas
    DW1Texas Posts: 131 Member
    It can be irritating no doubt BUT with any topic the more info you have the better decisions can be made. We don't know their exact motivation for discussing with you but we can be hopeful that their intentions are based on good meaning.

    Listen and engage who knows you might learn something or you might educate them. We don't converse enough on serious topics so although it might be challenging to talk with them at times be patient and look at it as another resource. Hang in there.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    I can’t explain it. Everyone seems to have opinions on diet and exercise. And nearly everyone seems willing to share those opinions.

    I’ve had folks who were obviously in the morbid obesity range ( I was there myself once) tell me what I was doing was all wrong. It was totally strange. When I was obese I don’t recall discussions about diet and exercise. But once it became apparent to others that I was losing weight, it was the only thing people wanted to talk about.

    My theory is that our weight loss makes other people anxious. And it plays out in a lot of ways. Nearly everyone who is significantly overweight is silently kicking themselves to lose. Seeing us hits that nerve. Our family and friends are used to us being overweight. If we change that, it could mean changes for them.

    I quickly learned a few brush off things to say to keep the conversation away from weight loss. There’s enough noise about weight loss in the media. I don’t need more from family and friends.

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