How to Deal...

jmelyan23 · September 2011

So I've been married for just over 4 years and my husband and I have gotten in a pretty big weight gaining rut because of the crap that we eat all the time. I've recently decided that I'm sick of eating junk all the time and want to eat healthier and exercise a lot more since I have an office job and it makes me feel better to workout.

He is supportive of me making these changes, but what's hard is that he's nowhere close to wanting to lose weight like I am. He still eats all those things we used to eat together like buttered popcorn, doughnuts, pizza, candy, chips, etc. and all these things I have the hardest time saying "no" to. I've tried to explain to him that it's hard for me to stick to eating healthy when he has all those things around, but it's hard for him to give them up because he's an extremely picky eater and the junk is a lot of what he likes. So, now I'm not really sure what to do because I was losing weight so well until he started bringing that stuff back in the house and I don't want to turn into a food Nazi.

Anyone with this problem or suggestions on what to do? I appreciate any helpful advice people have.

Learning2LoveMe · September 2011

I have this problem with my fiance, he loves junk food and can eat all he wants and it never shows :grumble: . To make it worse he is a food pusher... always offering me junk food, fast food, soda, etc and its already hard enough to not eat it when I smell it... it makes it so much harder when he tries to push it on me.

Here is what I found that works for me: I asked him to stop with the food pushing, it was hard for him but eventually he stopped offering... and sometimes he'll tell me no when I ask for some. Sometimes he still pushes the food but I'll remind him and he'll apologize... he really doesn't notice he does it. Another thing that worked for me (because smelling the food really makes me crave the flavor) is when he starts to eat the junk or cook it and I can't handle it anymore I will go outside for a walk or go hop on my elliptical in the other room. Sometimes you just need to remove yourself from the area and the cravings go away... and after you get a little exercise you won't want to eat the junk anyway!

Hope this helps!

Keiora · September 2011

I have the same problem... My boyfriend and I have both gained weight since we got together, and despite the fact that he's not happy at the size he is, he's not at a point where he's willing to give up goodies to change it... He is however SUPER supportive of me... So I do what I can, because I want to see him happier and healthier too... I found some GREAT recipies that he loves that are totally on my plan, and I'm the one to cook supper, so he eats what I eat... I do make an effort to ensure it's something he will enjoy too, I've found so many great recipies. Also, I take him with me on my nightly walk/run/whatever... It's great bonding time.

As far as crap food goes... Honestly? I make him leave it in the car... If he wants to eat crap, fine.. He's grown and can make his own decisions, but I do ask nicely that he support MY wish to eat better and be more healthy by keeping it somewhere where it's not constantly tempting me...

So he has a stash of cookies/chips/etc in the car and will bring them in to nibble on at night (my urge to cheat isn't NEARLY as bad if I would have to do it in front of him... I've always been a closet eater) and then when he leaves for work he puts it in the car and takes it with him, and that's where it stays until he wants some more... It may not be an ideal solution, but it works for us!

t_rog · September 2011

If you take the initiative to be the person who cooks the meals, then you can control EVERYTHING! And most of the time, he'll have nooooo idea that what you're cooking is healthier. I just recently discovered this site and it's AMAZING. Check out www.skinnytaste.com. It's all comfort foods that people LOVE, just way healthier versions of them.

Troll · September 2011

Ah, men. My fiance was blessed with a hummingbird-like metabolism (eating over 6500 calories a day...and at 5'11 he can't break 129lbs.) and therefore eats...and eats....and eats....all the yummiest foods . Now, although i made a lifestyle change (i am a vegetarian AND health food nut) i don't ask of him or expect him to change with me. He's a steak-and-taters kind of fellow and i knew it when i met him . At the end of the day, he can have ice cream and i either alter my workout or meals to enjoy it with him, or i bite my lip and look the other way. Because we live with my mom, who is on a low-cal diet, Greg is on a high cal diet, and i am just doing maintenence calories-i make three versions of the same meal. If we decide it's pizza night, greg gets stuffed crust extra meat extra cheese (and the butthead eats the whole 17 inch thing, too.), mom gets thing crust veggie with pepperoni and peels most of the cheese off, and i get thin crust veggie, and i don't typically eat much of the crust.

It would be nice if he could support you and not eat it around you...but at the end of the day-you changed your plans with food; so he should still be able to eat it on the couch in peace. If it's too much to handle, you should go to another room to avoid it, not make him quit eating it.

khartley535 · September 2011

Before Hubby got on board with me, we both made sacrifices. There were some things that I simply could not have in the house because I would eat them. Sliced cheese and popcorn, just to name a couple. I refuse to make separate meals, and he deals with that just as much as I do. If I make cheeseburgers for dinner, that is what I eat too, but without the cheese and lots of vegies on it. I also learned to get him the snacks that he DID like, but I did NOT. Nutter Butters and Zingers were a few. For the most part I can now ignore the trigger foods, but not always. For me it's been better since he's been on the same page as me, because those temptations aren't around anymore. Just keep explaining to him that this is what you NEED him to do for you.

Deathwithab · September 2011

My boyfriend is a twig and constantly brings home junk ,there is always pop and chips, cookies, all that stuff in the kitchen,
and in the year and a half I've lived with him I have gained 40 pounds From giving in to it

timgordon24 · September 2011

Not to be nosy, but has the gain of weight affected any of his health? Blood pressure, cholesterol, border-line diabetic? When you go to the doctor, has he asked them for a weight chart? Sometimes it takes alot for some to realize what you're truly doing to your body. For me, it was stepping on the scale at the doctors and being 12 pounds away from 500!

My family has a history of diabetes.. While I am not afraid of the needles/strips, it's not something I'd want to do every day to myself. Then there was getting in/out of my car. I have a LARGE full-size sedan; until I was nearly 500 pounds, it wasn't much of an inconvenience to get in/out of it. But now that I am losing weight, I see how I had SLOWLY adapted to the discomfort of getting in/out.

Nonetheless, your doctor should be able to give you a check-in chart for your husband. (Depending on your doctor and their office procedures) It lists your weight, blood pressure and heart rate for the last few visit. (I was able to secure a copy of mine that dates back to 2008!) To try and eat healthy with all of those vulnerable foods in the home is gonna be a tough battle. It's best if you're both on the same "team", weight-wise. This might be the thing your husband needs to see how he's changed over time and to get him on the right path.

How to Deal...

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