Starting, failing, starting, failing, the cycle has to stop.
SeanW79
Posts: 81 Member
I have not been on this app in some years. When I logged back in my beginning weight was in the upper 300's and now I am sitting at 416. While that is not my highest it is where I am. My feet, knees, and back hurts daily and I know I am not getting any younger. Here I am sitting in my early 40's I feel it is now or never. I gained almost 60 lbs over the past few years and I know it is all from emotional eating. After being "back on the wagon" for a week now I feel ok but yesterday was a little discouraging. Pulled out some old dress shirts and they will not even get in the same zip code around my abdomen. Talk about wanting to break down and cry. It is easy to not face the reality of how big you are and tell yourself it isn't that bad but when you see the effects of it there is no denying it. I am not saying I am quitting already but feeling rather discouraged. I can't help but keep asking myself how I let myself get like this? Anyway, here's to hoping this week's work and next Sunday's weigh-in is productive.
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Replies
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Getting back on here is a great start, keep coming on here daily for both logging and to read/post on the boards. It does help. Whatever you do, no matter the setbacks along the way, don't give up.
Reflecting on how you got where you are can be a good exercise but do not linger too long. See what you can learn about yourself but it does not help to get stuck there.
You will need to develop a new healthy relationship with food/eating but it will be so worth it! It will take time to lose weight, it did not go on overnight and will not come off quick either. You do not have to be perfect to be successful, what we do MOST of the time is what matters.6 -
You do not have to be perfect to be successful, what we do MOST of the time is what matters.
This is perfectly stated. I also struggle with emotional eating as well as having the pounds pack on out of nowhere, especially at “our age” 😹 The 30s were a shocker and approaching 40, feeling you with the bodily aches.
And yeah, a lot of what was already said. You’re doing the work just by being here and that all or nothing way of thinking is a B — remembering that it’s most, or honestly, even half or less of the time can make a difference as you continue to build your routine.
Sending you a high five today.
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Believe in yourself you can do this remember it's a journey of discovery to find what works for you and adapting,3
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I'm back again as well. I feel so beaten and lost and like I don't know what to do. I keep going from one program to another and then get depressed when it doesn't work and I quit. This is a good community, lots of support.4
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@jsmuda2012 I've done the same, tried so many different programs and always giving up. What I found for me was that so many of them took too much time and I gave up quickly because I would get stressed. I have found just simply tracking my food on MFP works best. I don't currently pay attention to macros or anything else, I only try to eat within my weight loss goal. I am mindful of what I eat, but if we are having mac and cheese and I want it, I will eat it, but only the amount that fits. I also find that when I am active within the community and on my feed, I stay more consistent and make better progress.
@SeanW79 I have a pair of shorts that fit 3 years ago that now won't even think about going up past my thighs. I keep them out where I can see them. They are my inspiration.
I am also in my 40's and starting to experience pains I hadn't before. I know it is from putting weight back on that I had lost a few years ago. It seems to get harder the older I get. But we have to start somewhere and today is the day. You got this!!
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I have not been on this app in some years. When I logged back in my beginning weight was in the upper 300's and now I am sitting at 416. While that is not my highest it is where I am. My feet, knees, and back hurts daily and I know I am not getting any younger. Here I am sitting in my early 40's I feel it is now or never. I gained almost 60 lbs over the past few years and I know it is all from emotional eating. After being "back on the wagon" for a week now I feel ok but yesterday was a little discouraging. Pulled out some old dress shirts and they will not even get in the same zip code around my abdomen. Talk about wanting to break down and cry. It is easy to not face the reality of how big you are and tell yourself it isn't that bad but when you see the effects of it there is no denying it. I am not saying I am quitting already but feeling rather discouraged. I can't help but keep asking myself how I let myself get like this? Anyway, here's to hoping this week's work and next Sunday's weigh-in is productive.
This is a great start. Along with some willpower & help from the community, & cycling calories, I have several 'Waypoints' I started @ 440#, @300, I get to have awesome steak dinner Calamari sautéed in butter, wagyu beef, lionase potatoes, no desert, don't really do sweets.
@225 my upper goal weight, a new wardrobe, and one really good custom tailored suit.
@200 my lower goal weight, An awesome tailored suit, Versace, Armani, Savile Row, and I get to eat @ my maintenance calories, and with continued maintenance of my weight, one awesome suit, and one awesome meal every six months.
My current weight is 358#, getting closer to first goal every day!
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You can do this. I topped out at 285 lbs in part because although the scale said 285 I could see 300 in easy reach. I had HBP, sleep apnea, debilitating back pain and a seemingly permanent cough. I was 44. My weight was killing me. I weigh about 177 lbs now. Been here for years.
Get a food scale, start a food diary and never stop your diary. Always log everything no matter what. Even if you blow up your numbers, keep logging.
Try to keep the big picture out log your head. Likewise regret. It’s destructive. Don’t concern yourself with how long it will take to get to goal. Final goal will have to be wait and see when you get there. The good news is that you don’t need to get to goal to feel better. Your life can start getting better almost immediately.
Concentrate on the process and the next thing in front of you right now. Weight loss is the byproduct of your process.
Weight loss has 2 parts, eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. People tend to go all in on the deficit and try to beat themselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work.
Last thing- I had to reinvent my plan about 4 times to get to goal. It’s mostly about problem solving. The only way to fail is quit. Don’t. Good luck.5 -
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and I know it is really hard. Logging food is a really big help for me. Also, I've found that I feel like I am a bit of a food addict so with certain foods that I know I am going to overeat- I don't buy them at all. Snacky foods that have got lots of fat, sugar, salt I just know if I buy it I will overeat it! So now if its something I really want I get a small single serving, eat it and enjoy it. Eating out at alot of places I used to is a big no because of the massive portion sizes and there's just no way I can stop myself from overeating. Even sometimes now I look at junk food and I imagine myself stepping on the scales and my weight not changing, and its enough for me to put the junk food back on the shelf. Another thing that's been a bit of a motivator for me is my energy levels- if i eat lots of processed foods, fried foods or lots of artificial sweeteners- drinks with lots of artificial sweeteners- it makes me feel so exhausted. If i eat healthier I find that I have more energy the next day and that helps- so sometimes I look at food and think ''you're not worth me being exhausted the whole next day'' and I put it back too. Also if you're trying to diet and you slip up, its ok we've all been there. But I don't let one bad day derail my whole progress. I just get back on the wagon the next day. Also, its not for everyone but I find if I weigh myself first thing in the morning-every morning- that's a big motivator for me to eat healthy or to eat a bit less that day. I can't deny what my weight is that day if I weigh myself in the morning- its right there in front of my eyes. Another thing that I have found helpful is just some easy low impact exercise classes on youtube- there's ones that are only 10 or 15 minutes long. Sometimes its helpful to just do ten minutes of exercise a day for a week, and then slowly add an extra five minutes every day until you have worked up to an hour.
Junk food is addictive and its just so hard for me to stop overeating sugar, fat and salt- so why make the struggle harder for myself by buying a big package or a big serving of it when I know its a problem and i'm just asking for trouble.
Another thing is if i have less than a 500 hundred calorie deficit one day, I don't beat myself up about it either. I just say its still a deficit, or even if i have a day where i eat to maintain or overeat i just tell myself- tomorrow is another day and I can just start fresh tomorrow.
Also this video helps me alot if I watch it first thing in the morning before I have my coffee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbuUYRfJtJk 2 -
I am in the same boat Sean so I feel for you. I lost my dad when I was 5 years old and since that age…..i gained so much weight I got to 162kg by the time I was in my 20’s. One day something clicked and I lost nearly 90kg. Kept it off for 5 years and then my mother died. That was 3 years ago and since then I have gained back 30kg, I have tried and failed every week since then and I am at the point like you where I am so discouraged and wonder why bother. I am miserable in this body, in this skin and enough it enough! Let’s kick *kitten* together 🤞🏼4
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Same problem here! I'm so ready to make a lifelong change and find happiness with myself!2
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I don’t have personal experience with this, but from watching my dad go on his journey I can say that you will very likely grow as a person if you do something like this. It’s a big deal to be on a weight loss journey and it will build your character in a way that other people around you could not even hope to comprehend.
The feeling of discouragement comes from wanting things to change NOW or to be farther along. The truth is though that life is one long road and there really is no end date, so no need to set one for itself. Think of it this way… your goal is only to get one pound lighter st a time. Every time you lose a pound, practice being proud as F&@k. Yes, sit there and try to drum up those feelings. A lot of us don’t take the time to actually feel the feeling of pride, so do that. It will act as your metaphorical carrot and as ur reward system.
This might sound extreme but we hid a lot of the mirrors in our house when my dad took his journey. He didn’t want to feel disappointed in his looks when his real focus was changing his lifestyle little by little. Maybe if you have those sort of thoughts, you should set yourself success by planning around them. Have an action plan for the common ones you hear so you can train yourself out of those bad mental habits that don’t help you on ur journey. Therapy might’ve good if you haven’t tried it.
And start very small. I felt so overjoyed hearing my dad tell me how much he did on the eliptical that day. When he began, he started at five minutes and then He got up to eight and then he kept at it until he was able to last an entire spin class! It took him a couple of years but honestly he was more elated than I ever was losing ten pounds. He got the satisfaction of seeing verifiable progress.
One last thing to look forward to. Because you are the weight that you are, you are very likely exceptionally strong. Which means ur already a badass and probably he’ll of a lot stronger than some of the “buff” guys on here.
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I'm back as well. I hear you loud and clear. We have took the first step to feeling and being healthier. Feel free to add me.1
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