Oh wise people from MFP tell me what to do

boomboom011
boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
So apparently because i decided to skip weigh in day at weight watchers on monday someone from my group has a problem with it. She said and I quote "im going to have to have a chat with her and get on to her for not going". Nevermind the fact i was at the GYM instead.

Everything in my being wants to tell her to mind her own effing business but....... Im turning over a new leaf and I would like to say something more impacting than that.

I come to you for advice on how to handle this chick. She is doing great with her weight loss and Im very happy for her. Why cant she just mind her own business about this? Its not like i was skipping out on ww for a cheeseburger. i went to the gym and when I saw her i had just bought a nice salad and was running back to my desk before my lunch hour was over. Gah cut me some slack.

Replies

  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    you are nicer than me, then, because I would tell her to pull the stick out, because I was working out.... but, that's just me.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Tell her that you appreciate her interest in your weight loss but you are not accepting judgmental criticism at this time.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    I would wait until she confronts you about it and then say something like 'I needed to go to WW and I needed to go to the gym, but I only had time for one so I decided on what was best for me at the time'.

    I think it would be a different story if you'd skipped two or three weeks, but once?
  • mistyb47711
    mistyb47711 Posts: 861 Member
    How about.....I would like to tell you congrats about your weight loss success so far. For me it is more then seeing the scales go down. I love that my clothes fit better because I am losing some inches and having a great time changing my eating habit. And btw mind ur own effing business...lol....not that last part lol......
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Your doing great losing weight as well. Is she a group leader or just a busybody? Maybe before she says anything, just mention that you felt like getting a workout in. You can step on a scale anytime, but finding time to workout is a lot harder.
  • LolaVaantz
    LolaVaantz Posts: 74 Member
    I like the idea of grabbing her by the hair and not so gently pushing her nose into your freshly sweaty pits from having been at the gym and then perhaps telling her (when i'm sure she is looking at you aghast due to such behavior) that you just thought you were helping her since she seemed fond of sticking her nose where it doesn't belong anyway! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Okay, not really, but i'm sure it lifted your mood. Good job on making healthy decisions for yourself, and being your own person. Support, advice, and accountability are all a wonderful part about a team approach to healthy lifestyles, but nagging, tyrany, and unhealthy control are most definitly not. Politely decline being nagged as it isn't helpful for your support, but your teammate may need extra support due to her strange need to control your weightloss, usually that behavior is guilt/anxiety on the part of the nagger.
    :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,449 Member
    Well, she better not miss a WW meeting. That's all I'm sayin........
  • just41day
    just41day Posts: 3
    I would say when she confronts you, if she ever does, that you did not realize that she was that concerned about you and you really do appreciate that she is looking out for you. Say it with meaning, not sarcasm. This will have one of 2 effects. If she is sincerely interested in your welfare she will tell you and 2 if she is just being nosy then by saying that to her it will stop her from making any further comments and you will end up looking like the intelligent mature person and not a bratty child like her.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Your doing great losing weight as well. Is she a group leader or just a busybody? Maybe before she says anything, just mention that you felt like getting a workout in. You can step on a scale anytime, but finding time to workout is a lot harder.

    just a busy body. to be honest she is part of the reason why i didnt go. i couldnt sit through another meeting listening to her bogart the conversation. I would like to hear from others sometimes. Plus i really needed to hit the gym not the scale
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    I think she comes from a good place. Albeit a slightly gossipy one but the intentions were right. Wait until she says something and then tell her you appreciate her encouragement but that you only had time for the gym that day. You dont really OWE her an explanation so just leave it at that.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
    I would wait until she confronts you about it and then say something like 'I needed to go to WW and I needed to go to the gym, but I only had time for one so I decided on what was best for me at the time'.

    I think it would be a different story if you'd skipped two or three weeks, but once?

    This, I mean seriously is she your weight loss coach? Be as nice as you can be and try to turn it on her!
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
    you could just not say anything and be the bigger one because i mean she was just thinking about you and all and if you dont like it then you could tell her how much you dont like it
  • just41day
    just41day Posts: 3
    I would say when she confronts you, if she ever does, that you did not realize that she was that concerned about you and you really do appreciate that she is looking out for you. Say it with meaning, not sarcasm. This will have one of 2 effects. If she is sincerely interested in your welfare she will tell you and 2 if she is just being nosy then by saying that to her it will stop her from making any further comments and you will end up looking like the intelligent mature person and not a bratty child like her.
  • Janny2712
    Janny2712 Posts: 25
    Tell her that you appreciate her interest in your weight loss but you are not accepting judgmental criticism at this time.

    Love this response.....says in a very polite way...."butt out of my business!!!":bigsmile:
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
    Thanks for your concern. My schedule only allows certain times for certain things and I chose to workout instead of weighing in. By the way you are doing amazing!

    Short and sweet :)
  • cacraft
    cacraft Posts: 76
    Next time I saw her I would give her a big hug and say: "I heard you missed me last week. I missed you too! Sorry, I couldn't make it -I was at the gym. How'd you do?"
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
    Next time I saw her I would give her a big hug and say: "I heard you missed me last week. I missed you too! Sorry, I couldn't make it -I was at the gym. How'd you do?"

    That is genius. I want a photo of her completely gobsmacked after this. I dare her not to stutter out an answer to that!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    So apparently because i decided to skip weigh in day at weight watchers on monday someone from my group has a problem with it. She said and I quote "im going to have to have a chat with her and get on to her for not going". Nevermind the fact i was at the GYM instead.

    Everything in my being wants to tell her to mind her own effing business but....... Im turning over a new leaf and I would like to say something more impacting than that.

    I come to you for advice on how to handle this chick. She is doing great with her weight loss and Im very happy for her. Why cant she just mind her own business about this? Its not like i was skipping out on ww for a cheeseburger. i went to the gym and when I saw her i had just bought a nice salad and was running back to my desk before my lunch hour was over. Gah cut me some slack.
    What she thinks doesn't matter. It doesn't affect you at all. Let it go. Say nothing. You don't owe her an explanation, and certainly not unless she asks and you want to tell her.

    Why do you want to say something impacting? Isn't that you minding *her* business? You say she is doing great and you are happy for her. Nurture that feeling.

    You know who you should be having a talk with? The gossip(s) that brought this story to you in the first place. What what their motive for doing that?
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Next time I saw her I would give her a big hug and say: "I heard you missed me last week. I missed you too! Sorry, I couldn't make it -I was at the gym. How'd you do?"
    ^^ perfect!!! This is just the best way to handle that!!:flowerforyou:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    I've never understood why weighing in front of your peers helps you more. I would think that most people who are overweight are self conscious and already deal with self confidence so if they didn't lose or gained, what kind of reinforcement does that achieve?
    I can see accountability, but that should be between you and a counselor and not peers unless you really agree to it.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    I would wait until she confronts you about it and then say something like 'I needed to go to WW and I needed to go to the gym, but I only had time for one so I decided on what was best for me at the time'.

    I think it would be a different story if you'd skipped two or three weeks, but once?

    This


    I am a very nonconfrontational person, I try to let people just be pissed if they are pissed, and difuse the situation. Just make sure she knows your side of the situation, and express why you chose what you did. Im not to sure of what it means that she is from your group, but it sounds like she is just concerended about your weightloss, which is good. Its fair to be upset that she is being so pushy, but it sounds like at the root she wants to see that you are improving.
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    Next time I saw her I would give her a big hug and say: "I heard you missed me last week. I missed you too! Sorry, I couldn't make it -I was at the gym. How'd you do?"

    ^^^^THIS!^^^
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Next time I saw her I would give her a big hug and say: "I heard you missed me last week. I missed you too! Sorry, I couldn't make it -I was at the gym. How'd you do?"

    I'd go this route, but I'd probably leave out the hug. :smile:
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Tell her that you appreciate her judgmental criticism in your weight loss but you are not interested at this time.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    So apparently because i decided to skip weigh in day at weight watchers on monday someone from my group has a problem with it. She said and I quote "im going to have to have a chat with her and get on to her for not going". Nevermind the fact i was at the GYM instead.

    Everything in my being wants to tell her to mind her own effing business but....... Im turning over a new leaf and I would like to say something more impacting than that.

    I come to you for advice on how to handle this chick. She is doing great with her weight loss and Im very happy for her. Why cant she just mind her own business about this? Its not like i was skipping out on ww for a cheeseburger. i went to the gym and when I saw her i had just bought a nice salad and was running back to my desk before my lunch hour was over. Gah cut me some slack.
    What she thinks doesn't matter. It doesn't affect you at all. Let it go. Say nothing. You don't owe her an explanation, and certainly not unless she asks and you want to tell her.

    Why do you want to say something impacting? Isn't that you minding *her* business? You say she is doing great and you are happy for her. Nurture that feeling.

    You know who you should be having a talk with? The gossip(s) that brought this story to you in the first place. What what their motive for doing that?

    well i knew she was going to say something because she saw me as i was getting off the elevator with my gym bag in my hand and she said something to me right then too. This isnt the first incident. The topic came up because the person she said it to is my friend and she was having a really bad day. Its a long story but the person that told me the story isnt one of those people.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    thanks everyone for their words of wisdom. I decided to just be pleasant dammit! lol i knew you all would know how to handle it.
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