Anyone else still fat & fed up after years?

Feeling so fed up and fat. 32 now, have two beautiful daughters who I want to be strong and healthy for, and I’m desperate to change but so confused and frustrated as I don’t know where to start anymore.

Tried so many diets, gyms, exercises, fasting etc but cannot keep anything going long enough or gain it all back.

Am I alone in this?
Has anyone felt and lived this but actually changed?

I can’t carry on so striving for support as I don’t have any in my life.

Grateful for friends/advice/tips/encouragement anything really!

Thanks all.

Replies

  • sebat04
    sebat04 Posts: 1 Member
    Very relatable.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,886 Member
    The fact that you've tried so many things d and have difficulty sticking with it, makes me think you may be going to extreme in the changes you make.

    I would suggest : build sustainable habits gradually, don't overhaul your habits all in one go.

    For example, start by weighing and logging your food consistently, the food you're used to eating. Do that for a week or two.
    Then set up your profile and goals - don't choose a fast rate of loss, this isn't a race, it's a lifestyle change.
    Start tweaking your diet: easy adjustments and substitutions to lower your calorie intake till its within your calorie goal.
    If you want to change what you eat (for example, you feel you're eating too many processed foods or not enough vegetables), make gradual changes.
    Don't eliminate all your favorite foods, you'll just end up giving up.

    Same for exercise: don't choose a punitive exercise regime to beat your body into submission. Start gradually and choose activities you enjoy.
  • sophjcxo
    sophjcxo Posts: 2 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    The fact that you've tried so many things d and have difficulty sticking with it, makes me think you may be going to extreme in the changes you make.

    I would suggest : build sustainable habits gradually, don't overhaul your habits all in one go.

    For example, start by weighing and logging your food consistently, the food you're used to eating. Do that for a week or two.
    Then set up your profile and goals - don't choose a fast rate of loss, this isn't a race, it's a lifestyle change.
    Start tweaking your diet: easy adjustments and substitutions to lower your calorie intake till its within your calorie goal.
    If you want to change what you eat (for example, you feel you're eating too many processed foods or not enough vegetables), make gradual changes.
    Don't eliminate all your favorite foods, you'll just end up giving up.

    Same for exercise: don't choose a punitive exercise regime to beat your body into submission. Start gradually and choose activities you enjoy.

    Thank you for this! That is such great advice. And I think you’re right. I burned out trying to go to the gym before work every day (because, I see so many people do it!). I then had kids and life just got hectic, so most exercise stopped and whenever I’ve decided to try something I think I go too full on and then I can’t keep at it. But I’m worried it just won’t make a different otherwise.

    Same with food. Tried all the restricting diets and none of them I could keep up. Cutting things out, etc.

    I’m going to try what you said and see how I get on. Thank you. I already feel more encouraged!
  • forestfreek
    forestfreek Posts: 5,770 Member
    edited August 2021
    Lietchi wrote: »
    The fact that you've tried so many things d and have difficulty sticking with it, makes me think you may be going to extreme in the changes you make.

    I would suggest : build sustainable habits gradually, don't overhaul your habits all in one go.

    For example, start by weighing and logging your food consistently, the food you're used to eating. Do that for a week or two.
    Then set up your profile and goals - don't choose a fast rate of loss, this isn't a race, it's a lifestyle change.
    Start tweaking your diet: easy adjustments and substitutions to lower your calorie intake till its within your calorie goal.
    If you want to change what you eat (for example, you feel you're eating too many processed foods or not enough vegetables), make gradual changes.
    Don't eliminate all your favorite foods, you'll just end up giving up.

    Same for exercise: don't choose a punitive exercise regime to beat your body into submission. Start gradually and choose activities you enjoy.
    .

    Best answer ever ❤️

    I’’m just gonna copy and paste for anyone who asks how to be successful in achieving weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. It’s perfect.
  • ajewellmom
    ajewellmom Posts: 186 Member
    Just came back to MFP and the community to receive my 10 year badge . . . and still at same place I was 10 years ago, so I hear you.
  • dviolin1982
    dviolin1982 Posts: 17 Member
    I lost 30 pounds and then put it all back on, but what was I doing drinking water everyday, exercising, eating as healthy as I could, then I decided I could treat myself with a buttertart because I was in hospital one time and they gave me one, and all went downhill from there... I was eating buttertarts everyday.

    Now years later I'm in the same struggle been doing this for 15 days and lost 4 pounds so I'd say it's working
    The only thing is I don't walk now because I was in an accident, but I can bike so I do that. I was doing some of that before but I really enjoy it now. I also lift some weights for my arms and drink water a lot. :)
  • ColonyBiker
    ColonyBiker Posts: 5 Member
    I would have to agree with the previous comments. Find a way to be healthier in a sustainabe way that you can live with. I originally lost 120lbs 15 years ago and kept it off for 7years by just adjusting to a healthier lifestyle until being in a major accident. Find a way to eat healthy and a balanced diet that will support you in a lifestyle you want. If you like to go out to eat, find ways to incorporate healthy choices. This is impossible on some of the fad diets, but a well balanced diet, being conscious of the good and bad fats, carbs, etc and watching portion sizes and calories, will make it much easier. This will also allow you to maintain it easier after you reach your goals.

    Also, while watching the scale can seem like it provides great milestones, be sure to also measure. As you lose, your body will go through periods where you do not lose anything on the scale, but it could be a phase where your body is rearranging itself, converting more fat to muscle. The measurements will reflect this and give you the sense of accomplishment to help keep you motivated.

    I always view this process as an epic journey. It will not be easy, but you will learn more about yourself slowly along the way. You will have stumbles. You will have great successes. Overall though, you will reach your goal if you just stick with it and be a better person for it at the end. Wishing you the best of luck!
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    it may be worth finding an online support group outside of MFP with a focus on the mindful part of weight loss. I joined one and it was a game changer for me. I'm a very smart, successful woman who can do lots of things why couldn't I do this? because I was thinking about it all wrong. Getting my brain in the right place has been huge for me. Small sustainable habits are the bomb! then when you have an atypical day, recognize life happens, it isn't the end of the world, and go back to the habits you have developed. We're all here if you need support!
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    Yeah. I am in the same place. Not in a good place either