Being the fatter partner in your relationship?
AlisaYakubovich
Posts: 3 Member
I am 5'3" 120 lb. I always considered myself to be a normal weight but my fiance is my height and 85 lb so I feel very fat and bad about myself. Can you relate? How do you cope?
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Replies
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So your partner has a bmi of 15.1 and is quite severely underweight. You're at a normal weight. Why do you strive for something unhealthy?2
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You're not fat, they're severely underweight.6
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you are a normal healthy weight and your partner is severely UNDERweight.
you should be focusing on helping your partner reach a healthy weight.3 -
You’re not fat.
I don’t mean to sound rude, but sometimes partners control the other partner via weight- nagging, criticizing, bringing unwanted foods, controlling the grocery budget. Typically, they try to fatten their partner up to bolster their own ego, or make them unattractive to others so they won’t leave.
Your partner is either ill, or has an eating disorder.
If they are putting open pressure on you to be like them, or causing a scenario where you’re feeling subtle pressure or guilt, this is not a healthy relationship.
Life -and particularly youth- is too short to invest (waste) in bad relationships. There’s no harm in giving support to someone- within reasonable limitations, but ask yourself is this where you want to be in a year, or five or ten years?
If you do somehow manage to get as thin as your partner, how do you envision your health at that time? Do you want kids?would you want your kids to live in that kind of environment? Do you love your parents? Siblings? Would you want to cause them the pain and worry that will surely come with this?
There’s absolutely no reason why you should feel bad about yourself, unless it’s being suggested to you.
You are valuable. You are worthy. You need to do what is best for you.6
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