I guess I'll never understand

Grimmerick
Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
Sometimes I will see posts with people who wonder what they should do when someone makes a rude comment about their weight, whether it be friends, family , or stranger. I have a great family who would never say anything like that to me but I imagine if they did I would let them have it, just a sentence or two straight out asking them if they had a problem with their social skills or if they meant to be that rude. If they are comfortable enough to make that rude of a comment to me then they should be comfortable enough to receive my reply.....and if they didn't mean to hurt my feelings well then they know for next time how they should talk to someone, and if it's a friend that says it then they can't be that good of a friend, and if it's a stranger let em have it who cares they have the audacity to be rude to another stranger. Why is standing up for yourself so hard for some............and I am really asking that not being critical. What holds you back? I am not saying blow up but what holds you back from calling them out?

p.s. my mom raised me to stand up for myself family or no.

Replies

  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    yeah- what she said
    Once somebody gets offensive, I no longer worry about 'hurting their feelings'. And I've found rude & obnoxious people are FAR more sensitive than I am. They get MIGHTY offended and commonly never speak to me (only behind my back) ever again, which suits me fine.
    So be fore-warned, insult me at your own risk - I'm better at it than you are

    LOL
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    straight out asking them if they had a problem with their social skills or if they meant to be that rude.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Random_Name
    Random_Name Posts: 77
    Well...is he or she right? If he or she says, "I've noticed that you are fat" and you are fat, then that makes the speaker tactless but still right.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Sometimes the difference between standing up for yourself and trying to show someone else that they are wrong is hard to see.
  • daddyssunshyne
    daddyssunshyne Posts: 110
    I agree!

    That being said, sometimes it is just not worth feeding into it. I will bite my tounge or be super sweet if I know the person is actually trying to get a rise out of me. Why give them the satisfaction?

    If I have my kids with me, sometimes it just isn't worth my time and energy to make a scene.

    But, by the same token, it is also not worth my time or energy to really allow it to bother me.

    Sarah
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Well...is he or she right? If he or she says, "I've noticed that you are fat" and you are fat, then that makes the speaker tactless but still right.

    being right doesn't excuse rudeness
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    p.s. my mom raised me to stand up for myself family or no.
    ditto...thanks mom!
    I don't care who you are or if we share DNA.
  • juleseybaby
    juleseybaby Posts: 712 Member
    So be fore-warned, insult me at your own risk - I'm better at it than you are

    LOL

    :laugh:
  • mmmichelle8486
    mmmichelle8486 Posts: 269 Member
    Personally, I have no problem saying what I feel... but I can imagine on the subject of weight, people are probably embarrassed. Many times people are embarrassed when it comes to talking about personal issues, and weight is something that is very personal and for the most part is something that we control by our habits. Because of this, people are ashamed because they think that people think they are lazy over-eaters... which may actually be what people DO think. Society's view of overweight people is not good. They are looked down upon, this is shameful to some. At least that is what I would think... weight is just a taboo subject.
  • jellycar
    jellycar Posts: 40
    p.s. my mom raised me to stand up for myself family or no.

    I think it comes down to exactly that. In my family, it was always my Dad's way or no way. If we stood up for ourselves it was met with anger and usually a long drawn out argument that was completely pointless in the first place and just left everyone bitter. We (my sister and I) learned at a very early age just to let it go. My Mom is like that to an extent - mostly because she has a hard time understanding why what's best for her is not best for everyone. So, I was raised to hold my tongue (even when it hurts) and so I always have. I've recently seen the error in living this way and am try to take steps to be more assertive, but it's hard when you automatically assume that it will end badly.
  • woodsanita
    woodsanita Posts: 12 Member
    for me it's the shame that almost alway's stop me from letting them have it. How could I do this to myself how could I let myself go like this.God how I hate to hear "what happen you use to be so skinny"
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    It's basically an instinctive thing with me. I am generally a pretty quiet, unassuming person. Sometimes people say things that come off as rude, but I know that's not how they meant it. In those instances, I just let it go. I don't put on a happy face and pretend I'm not offended, but I just walk away without causing a scene.

    If, however, someone decides to intentionally insult me, I will turn into a different person in a fraction of a second. I have found that people who bully others with words are just as cowardly as physical bullies, and the minute you stand up to them, they limp away with their tails between their legs.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    My mom is usually the one making the rude comment and we had it instilled in us long ago that you don't argue with her. Of course, it's different now that I am an adult but old patterns die hard. Plus, she really enjoys doing it when she has an audience, and I find it best to let everyone else just stare at her in disbelief. One time I did stand up for myself and she pouted for the remainder of the day. tt's just easier to ignore her.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    My grandma is getting a little senile in her old age not really but thats our excuse for her more blatant attitude now. Anywho as an example of how my family works. We were at my brothers wedding shower and it was his second marriage(she cheated) and she she was sitting on the couch and said something kinda rude and my mom was standing right behind her......without missing a beat my mom grabs this plastic bag to her right and starts to put it over grandma's head haha point given and point received.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    being rude is in my genes.

    but just like in elementary school, there will always be a big brother to look over the weaklings in this world

    as nietzsche himself pointed out, the meek will inherit this earth
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    You're a ***** to me, I'll be an even bigger one back. My MIL told me I was getting too skinny and she always "one ups" me. Guess what happend? She gained the 30lbs. back she was in a competition to lose. Karma is a *****. Didn't use to be like this...I have no problem calling someone out of their douche baggery.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    My grandmother isn't senile, but she has no filter between her brain and her mouth, and she actually believes that being elderly gives her an excuse to be rude. At my grandfather's 80th birthday party a few years back, she took me around and introduced me to all of his friends as "our only grandchild who isn't married."
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