My Open Letter to MFPeeps

I just forgot...

*Warning, lots of rambling so if you are going to start this, you may be here a while*

The past week or so has been full of craziness on MFP. I won't go into details b/c you either know what I mean or you don't, and I don't want this to get deleted or edited.:) But it made me think, and last night I came to a conclusion.

I simply forgot what I signed up for. I forgot that MFP is NOT Facebook. I forgot that I am here to lose weight and get healthy.

Let's go back to the beginning. In February I turned 40. So I gathered up 7 of my closest girlfriends and took them out to the woods. We rented a cabin, hung out for the weekend, and had a great time, one of the funnest weekends ever. Then came the pictures. Then I cried. How did I let myself get this bad? I realized I HAD to make a change. I started working out at home, but not really consistant with it. Then in late March my best friend asked me if I wanted to do a Couch to 5K class with her. I thought I need to do something, so I dove in. The class was an epic fail for me, I just don't run. BUT, during the course of the 8 week class we were allowed access to the Y, and I started taking classes.Classes were great, and after the course was over I signed up with the Y.

During that time I decided I need a way to track my calories. Being an anal accountant type person, I used to track in Excel. But I figured there had to be a way I could do it on the go, so I looked for an App and found MFP. YIPPEEEEEEEEEE! I was a logging fool. Calories, exercise, playing with recipes. AWESOME AWESOME. Then one day I realized there was a desktop site. WOW. So there I went. Wait, there are other people on here! And you can talk to them! Message boards and blogs. Being the social butterly that I am (and addicted to social networking) I was in HEAVEN!

First I read the Success Stories section. I started sending friend requests to people that I felt would "get" me, people who had lost a lot of weight or were trying to lose a lot. Wow, you guys totally understand where I'm coming from! (Struggles with shopping, tying your own shoes, fitting into restaurant booths, etc, etc ,etc). I felt like I wasn't alone anymore. I loved getting feedback and motivation and I gave it right back! I'm not usually a RAH RAH kind of girl, but I was starting to like the back and forth.

Then I found the funny girls. The ones who may not have the exact weight loss goals, but damn they were funny. And rude and crude and said what was on their mind. My kinda gals. So I friended them too, b/c as you all know weight loss can be a ***** and anyone that can put a smile on my face is someone I want to have around.

<sigh> But then I got lost somewhere. I started writing stuff just to get responses. I got narcisstic, craving the attention. I started playing on the boards and getting caught up in the madness. I felt outraged and irritated and started spending more time commenting on what other people were saying rather than focusing on my friends I had accumulated. Oh I am still logging my foods and exercise and such, but the rest of my attention was for the drama.

*deep breath* So, here I am, ready to go back to the beginning. I have a great network of people on here that do motivate and support me (and a few that feed the drama, but I have to learn to handle that better!). I just have to choose to focus on what is important RIGHT NOW. And that is a healthier, happier ME. I'm not saying I'm stopping the fun, but I am also not going to wallow around in the drama anymore.

I appreciate the ones who have supported me, and I will strive to be a better motivator and support you as well. Thank you MFP and MFPeeps, I honestly feel like I couldn't even have made it this far without you.

Now I remember what this this is all about.