Setting yourself up to fail

MaryEliz10 · September 2011

Sitting on the sofa after eating a takeaway and huge bar of chocolate, feeling fat and guilty as hell, you promise yourself that from tomorrow you will do an hour of execrise 7 times a week, cut out sugar, and stick to 1000 calories a day. Sound familiar?

At that moment, and for a couple of hours after, you actually believe you can lose a stone in 2 weeks before that big event. Then the next day, when the reality of feeling hungry and battling cravings sets in, you go over your calorie allowance, think 'F**k it', go to MacDonalds and hate yourself all over again.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I think over the last few days I have finally learned that these thought processes are not doing me any good, and that's why I'm dragging myself into the real world.

Losing weight actually isn't going to change my life - I'm a British size 12, it's not like I'm obese - but I will feel better for it. So no more stupid goal setting; a 7lb loss by the time I turn 27 (in 8 weeks) would be great but I'm not going to beat myself up if it's slower than that.

I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who are stuck in that cycle of heaping pressure on themselves only to fail, so I hope that this post can help at least one person think a little differently. We all need to be a bit nicer to ourselves!

engineman312 · September 2011

excellent post!! the change begins within ourselves and we need to have the willpower to start and stick with it. food addictions are a real thing, and so is laziness. it's too easy for so many ppl to just stop at the drive-thru or order take out (take away for you brits) and eat bad. it is a continuous cycle.

one thing that helps me is that i do my best to take it one day at a time... but i'll admit sometimes its taking it one meal at a time. looking at such a large goal of weightloss can be a little daunting, and sometimes your just need to get through the meal.

zorbaru · September 2011

agree with this.

when i started to lose weight, i set a goal weight, and thats it. no time frames. no getting upset if i didnt lose something every week. no going hungry just because i have no calories left for the day.

its been about 10 months, ive dropped 17 pound (plus 5 before i joined here) and in that 10 months i went 4 months without tracking anything.

so, basically, im winning.

rjlam · September 2011

I agree whole heartedly. I've been at this since nov last year. At one point I had lost 11lbs but life happened and gain 9 of it back. I'm not happy about it and finding difficult getting back on track. Thanks for the words of encourgement. I'm taking it one step at a time and one day at a time. I will win!!!!!!!!

kwamgee · September 2011

great post. I think is reflects on a much larger problem. I might be wrong, but here's my take:

It's all in the mind and in our thought process. Sadly for the mass of the people here in our "industrialized, developed/ 1st world nations of the world" the thought process of the individual is determined by what is funneled through the tubes and through the media by Madison Ave, 5th Ave, Wall Street, Hollywood so forth and so on. They portray all these models that look alike, and send a message that this is how everyone aught to look. All in the name of the the mighty $$$. Industrialization has become a disease. Good real food has become scarce and expensive. The cheap plentiful processed foods like McDonald's are killing us slowly. Then when we fall ill, we run to the healthcare institution and the first thing they ask for is the check book. And what about these foods labeled as diet this and diet that. More money for the corporations.

Sometimes I wonder how is it that the people in the bushes poor countries with little to no health care, those that live they live for a long time. Our system is unsustainable.

Sezmo83 · September 2011

Great post. I promise myself nothing now. I will not stick to a rigid exercise plan. I will not stick to a rigid meal plan. I will not completely deny myself foods that aren't so healthy but that I genuinely enjoy, I just have them less often or have less of them. If I deprive myself of them completely I will find myself sitting on the sofa having just eaten a huge take away followed by dessert and hating myself.

I try not to think about how much weight I have to lose as I find that discouraging. Instead I focus on what I HAVE lost already. It's only 4lbs at the moment but it's 4lbs OFF instead of 4lbs on. "A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step."

kendrafallon · September 2011

I’m happy for you that you’ve had that light bulb moment. Any change or commitment to change begins in the mind. It's making it a reality that's the hard part. Taking things one day or step at a time is key.

Just bear in mind, that while losing weight may not be a life-changing process for you, for many on MFP it is.

cedarhurst2006 · September 2011

I found this in another post and thought it fitting...........

Don't Quit

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!

keiraev · September 2011

At that moment, and for a couple of hours after, you actually believe you can lose a stone in 2 weeks before that big event. Then the next day, when the reality of feeling hungry and battling cravings sets in, you go over your calorie allowance, think 'F**k it', go to MacDonalds and hate yourself all over again.

This was exactly me before the penny dropped that losing weight is a slow process and the slower it happens the more likely it is to stay off.

AngieDee12 · September 2011

bump

AlsDonkBoxSquat · September 2011

I'm sorry you are doing this. I know it's difficult, but it sounds like you're starting your day out wrong and moving from there. You should never find yourself so hungry that it prohibits you from making wise decisions (this is when I binge), by increasing your protein and fruits and veggies and eating whole grain instead of refined flours you should find yourself less hungry and that the food you eat sticks with you longer, and a good support system that will encourage you and be honest with you would help as well. You can do this, you just must persist and find what works for you.

Setting yourself up to fail

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