I'm mad I need to lose weight.

nyctina Posts: 24 Member
This is a bit of a vent, but after losing about 25lbs last year, I put it back on plus some this year. I'm literally the biggest I've ever been.

I know I need to lose the weight - and it's not about "looking good" or "fitting into old clothes" but more because I know it's better for me now and in the long term.

My family is not skinny, one of my professions is in the pastry field and the other is academics. I'm never going to weigh what the macros or doctors want and I'm fine with that. My goal is to lose about 75lb. Anything beyond that is gravy.

Now the reason I'm mad is because while I know I need to lose weight, I have absolutely no motivation to. I'm a stress eater and my life is beyond stressful right now...I'm just tired :( .
  1. My dad is unwell so I have to help my mom with him
  2. I also have to help her around the house because she's older
  3. I have to babysit my niece a couple of times a week (I love her to death)
  4. I am helping my nephew with school because he's going remote (he's a great kid but you know teenagers)
  5. I have 2 1/2 jobs that have tons of paperwork, so my work day doesn't have a set start or end time and I'm always trying to keep up (I'm always on the lookout for a new job so I can have one instead of 2+)
  6. I get offered freelance work that I usually take because it helps pay the bills
  7. I have a older property I'm managing that needs work and has tenants so I have to keep an eye on things
  8. I have personal health issues (not weight related) that I have to deal with
  9. I do most of the cooking in the house to give my mom a break and dad's picky with what he eats...and I need to make sure he eats

So that's a good idea why I gained some of this weight. I also started working from home so I'm not moving as much (actually has helped an ankle problem I had, go figure with the weight gain).

I'm mad because now on top of everything I have going on, I NOW have to lose weight and think about how to do it. It's not like any of these things are going to change anytime soon...and my family is all doing the best they can so I'm not mad at anyone, it just is what it is.

I don't know if going into weight loss with this kind of attitude is good or bad. I'm honestly indifferent. It's just another thing on the list...

Even thinking about it makes me tired.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone else that perhaps felt this way or was trying to lose weight while being an adult caregiver. No disrespect to people with kids but taking care of older adults/parents can weigh on you completely differently.

Thanks for letting me vent.


  • ForLangston
    ForLangston Posts: 919 Member
    I hear you on so many levels, esp that this is one more thing with multiple components to add to your life. Your health though is so worth the effort so I'm wishing you luck on your health journey!!

    As a caregiver to some of my elders, I decided that I needed to carve out time for exercise (even it's 10-20 mins). I also noticed that though I hate batch cooking and having to prepare meals all the time, it always tastes better and makes me feel better to be in control of what I'm eating. I eat out twice a week just to get a break from cooking/baking. What's helped me also is being part of the Ultimate Accountability Group on MFP. We check in daily to say did I track my calories, did I exercise, and did I remain within calories? It's a supportive space with folks who are new and seasoned so the tips are also great. Here's the info in case you'd like to check us out:

    Again, much luck to you!

  • nyctina
    nyctina Posts: 24 Member
    Thank you all for your input. Sometimes you just need to vent (even to strangers, lol) to get stuff out and hear others perspectives.

    @booboo1000 - Thanks for the encouragement to just take it slow to start with small changes. I think one of the most insightful things you said was "Others depended on me and I had to do my best to stay healthy for them." Not that my own self care isn't important but that hit home.

    @ForLangston - Thanks for the link. I'm glad to hear for someone who understands the added element of elder care. I'll definitely check out the group!

    @foreverslim1111 - I appreciate your advice - especially about self care includes caring about being healthy. Sometimes people focus only on short lived activities to feel better and classify that as "self care". Also, I'm actually not mad at myself or my family. Everyone has highs and lows in life where things sometimes pile up and you have to deal with them. This is that point in my life. My parents are awesome people and whatever I can do to help them, I will - they've done the same for me. They also work with and support me and realize that I do have other commitments. But to your point about overextension, I have already have made plans to do some cutting back near the end of the year so that's already in the works (I actually told one of my jobs, no! It was refreshing, lol).

    Thank you all again!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,992 Member
    Glad to hear you are cutting back! Work-life balance is very important.

    My partner was the caregiver for both of his elderly parents, who have since passed away. We are in Massachusetts, and he got services for them through an Elder Care company via MassHealth for a crazy low price. They were evaluated to match needs and services, so what I am about to say was for their needs and may or may not apply to your parents' needs. I'm not sure what all his father was going to get as he passed right before he was supposed to come home from the hospital, but I think someone was going to come in 5-7 days per week. His mother had someone come in three days a week and helped her with lunch and bathing. They would have helped with housecleaning, but my partner lived with her and did not need or want this service as he is a clean freak, lol.

    I encouraged him to get regular massage, as being a caregiver is stressful. He found this very beneficial to his mental and physical health.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    So there needs to be a non food way to blow off stress, right? My husband and I tend to use video games for this purpose. If you don't have the best reflexes or aren't into combat, there are story driven games that are either point and click adventures or more like interactive novel types.