It’s like looking for unicorns…

TattedGemini
TattedGemini Posts: 23 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know mfp has some amazing supportive people… where are they?? Not looking for the ones who just hit like and keep scrolling. Or who add you and then never say or do anything. But the real good ones! Who offer advice and support and hopefully some humour 😊

If you are one of those peeps, pls add me!

Replies

  • thisvickyruns
    thisvickyruns Posts: 193 Member
    what do you want advice about?
  • Nicole_Darling00
    Nicole_Darling00 Posts: 32 Member
    I know what you mean! It’s so easy to end up with a long list of friends and an empty inbox! Looking for engagement and accountability!
  • TattedGemini
    TattedGemini Posts: 23 Member
    Oh I totally get that. I’m not even looking for accountability. I suppose it’s just having a social circle to make the journey a bit more fun. I had mfp a few yrs ago and it was amazing. But times have definitely changed and it’s not what it used to be.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,879 Member
    Lots of engagement in the forums, true.

    I see some in the feeds as well, much less in private messages.
    I tend to respond more to actual typed posts (as opposed to automatic messages for workouts etc which I will generally just like).
    Depends a bit on the person as well. I get friend requests from (I'm guessing) people who see me here in the forums, but who never respond to any of my feed posts or make contact in any way, I'll rarely engage with them.
    But it's different with the people I know a bit better, where I know more about their obstacles, their journey,... And they comment on my posts as well.

    The biggest obstacle in the feeds is that it's difficult to keep track of replies: when replying to a comment on one of my posts, there is no notification to that person who commented on my post. Or when I react to someone's post, I have no way of knowing if that person replies to my comment except to manually open their post and see.
    For actual (group) conversations, the forums are a lot better.
  • Nicole_Darling00
    Nicole_Darling00 Posts: 32 Member
    wunderkindking wrote: »
    I think most of the engagement happens on the forums. Unlike FB where things happen in the feed. I rarely even post to mine, much less read anyone else's. Seems pretty much the cultural norm here.

    (Also tbh I'm a mom of 2, I don't want anyone accountable to me. I'm kind of over done emotional labor for other people/cheerleading/emotionally managing other people's crap. Ain't my thing and while some people want an accountability 'be accountable for your own darn self' is not uncommon either)

    And that’s okay either way! To each their own I say!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,598 Member
    TattedGemini wrote: »
    Oh I totally get that. I’m not even looking for accountability. I suppose it’s just having a social circle to make the journey a bit more fun. I had mfp a few yrs ago and it was amazing. But times have definitely changed and it’s not what it used to be.

    Maybe consider joining one of the challenge groups, or join in on one of the long-running motivation group threads, or the like (there are long-running threads in Food & Recipes areas where people focus more on what they're eating, threads in the exercise area where people report what workout or video they did . . . most of these have a social component, over time, as regular participants get to know each other).

    The challenges are mostly here:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/challenges

    Those, and the other long-running threads I mentioned, have a variety of styles or "cultures", some of which may not suit your needs/tastes, but perhaps others would. You can also look in the "Groups" part of the Community for active groups on subjects that would interest you.

    Beyond just the support from participating in one of the above, these can be good ways to meet people who are on a similar wavelength to you.

    Personally, I don't do much on the MFP friend side of things, where it seems like the interaction is a little bit more brief and maybe even rote/formulaic than I personally enjoy most, though I do accept friend requests, generally (as long as no red flags raised).
  • ravi_tiwari_786
    ravi_tiwari_786 Posts: 651 Member
    TattedGemini wrote: »
    I know mfp has some amazing supportive people… where are they?? Not looking for the ones who just hit like and keep scrolling. Or who add you and then never say or do anything. But the real good ones! Who offer advice and support and hopefully some humour 😊

    If you are one of those peeps, pls add me!

    happy to help. Welcome!
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    What I really don't get is the people that add person after person after person..... and then at some point you realize that they don't interact with ANY of them, ever. I can have no interaction with strangers driving down the road.

    But @TattedGemini just a suggestion. Fill out enough profile info so people have an idea what you are into, goals, desires... whatever. It might help avoid the adds or requests from people that don't have anything in common.

    Maybe it's just me, but it seems to be a trend these days that people interact less on the feeds. A few years back it seemed to be a lot different IMHO.....
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I agree with @robertw486. Also, when you make a FR are you sending a short note about yourself, why you want to be friends, and the interaction that you are hoping for?

    I am refusing all the FR that arrive faceless with no information. I've gotten many lately and checking out THEIR friends, I found lots of nude bots. It's been cleaned up, but I'm waiting for awhile. If anyone is interested in being my friend, write why. With that said, I don't cheer my friends on and interact, unless they ask for help, or arrive at a milestone, or do a super workout, etc. I do follow along and check up on my feed everyday. Just because I don't comment, doesn't mean I'm not interested.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,879 Member
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    I agree with @robertw486. Also, when you make a FR are you sending a short note about yourself, why you want to be friends, and the interaction that you are hoping for?

    I am refusing all the FR that arrive faceless with no information. I've gotten many lately and checking out THEIR friends, I found lots of nude bots. It's been cleaned up, but I'm waiting for awhile. If anyone is interested in being my friend, write why. With that said, I don't cheer my friends on and interact, unless they ask for help, or arrive at a milestone, or do a super workout, etc. I do follow along and check up on my feed everyday. Just because I don't comment, doesn't mean I'm not interested.

    Apparently those messages aren't shown to the person receiving the request until after the request is accepted (in the form of a post on their wall). I've never ever seen a message with any of the friend requests I've received.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    I agree with @robertw486. Also, when you make a FR are you sending a short note about yourself, why you want to be friends, and the interaction that you are hoping for?

    I am refusing all the FR that arrive faceless with no information. I've gotten many lately and checking out THEIR friends, I found lots of nude bots. It's been cleaned up, but I'm waiting for awhile. If anyone is interested in being my friend, write why. With that said, I don't cheer my friends on and interact, unless they ask for help, or arrive at a milestone, or do a super workout, etc. I do follow along and check up on my feed everyday. Just because I don't comment, doesn't mean I'm not interested.

    Apparently those messages aren't shown to the person receiving the request until after the request is accepted (in the form of a post on their wall). I've never ever seen a message with any of the friend requests I've received.

    Don't know--they used to be and should be again. I thought you could for FR. I haven't gotten a note in a long time. I used to accept all FR , but after the bots I don't anymore. If anyone legit comes along I can tell--usually. I can remember someone who posted on a thread, for instance, or someone who comments frequently on my friends wall.
  • CaffeinatedConfectionist
    CaffeinatedConfectionist Posts: 1,046 Member
    I agree that one can easily end up with a bunch of friends that don't comment or otherwise interact - one thing that helped me find friends with similar interests or goals (in my case, lifting, outdoor adventures, and cooking) was to make an introductory post with some detail on those goals and interests. Granted, that was like four years ago, but I am still friends with some of those people.

    So many intro/looking for friends posts provide little to no information beyond "hey, add me," so it can be helpful to make yourself stand out.

    I enjoy having friends on my feed that post beyond just their activity or closing their diary, and those are the people I interact with the most because it feels like I can get to know someone much better that way, and share their struggles or cheer in their victories. But I do agree that's not the majority of people on my feed.

    Feel free to add me, though, I'm a chatty b most of the time.

    (Oh, and yes, I do believe they stopped allowing messages with friend requests. I think people were abusing the function. Makes it slightly trickier to weed out all the nude bots, though. I don't need more boobs in my life, I have my own)
  • xxghost
    xxghost Posts: 4,697 Member
    Join a challenge! The Harry Potter one has been around for like 8 years now, with many of the same people. Like a second family!
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
    I'm here logging most days. I admit I have gotten lazy about my feed, and checking in with friends there.
  • lantana411
    lantana411 Posts: 99 Member
    I have lost and gained weight - and gained and lost weight. I relapsed and am working my way back towards feeling like myself. What's changed is that I want to be in the body I love more than I want the food. But I know that this journey is most successful when its supported by like-minded people. I want to give/get support because I'm in this for the long haul. I'm looking for accountability buddies and people who are committed to making a daily practice of healthy action.

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