I hate the gym

barobins242
barobins242 Posts: 4 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
So I've gotten gym memberships in the past only to end them and lose the money. I have a community gym, but hours suck due to COVID restrictions. I have a few free weights (adjustable dumbbells) but that's about it.

I start and get distracted often because lifting doesn't really excite me. I've tried running, biking and calesthenics. It all ends up going to the wayside.

I know I need to get past "motivation" and get disciplined. That's probably my toughest hill to climb. I guess I'm coming here for accountability. Don't really have anyone to lift with and life is pretty busy with work and such. I end up sitting almost all day because of work and such.
Not sure what to do at this point. I end up going back to calesthenics because of all the exercises, that interests me the most. Moving my body and getting strong are the goals (along with losing body fat).

I just need to do it. Been trying to log daily. Seven day streak so far. I do end up gaining weight even with a deficit (according to MFP). So I guess the goals are wrong. Trying to log accurately.

Replies

  • barobins242
    barobins242 Posts: 4 Member
    Ok. Cry session over. Time to hold myself accountable. If anyone else wants in on this, feel free to HMU.
    I'm overweight but have the genetics to be jacked. Time to put that stuff to work!
    Starting off with good food and good habits (tracking stuff with actual scale and measuring spoons).
    Planning to make it to my community gym within it's stupid window. Won't be consistent daily bc of work schedule, but dang it I'll be there. I'll start a new chat once I figure out a plan. Any plan suggestions for a 42 y.o. man who wants to lose fat and get strong, I'm all ears.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    edited October 2021
    I also hate the gym.

    However I love: Disc golf, hiking, horse back riding, paddle boarding, open water swimming, dog agility, disc dog, and trail running with a dog attached to me. So I don't go to the gym and I do those. Not... all at once, some of those hobbies came along as I got more fit and confident, but my resistance/weight training amounts to 'I have weights in my house and I use them or some body weight stuff for about 15 minutes most days' and tbh most of that is 100% in response to how I'm a middle aged woman with a nasty family history of osteoporosis and I'd like my bones not to snap during activities I love.

    Well that and the weights made me stronger and that enabled me to do things like get all my groceries in, in fewer trips, and haul my paddleboard onto the dock without wanting to die.

    Real talk: If you hate it, you're not going to stick with it. Living organisms do not continue to do things they find unpleasant/punishing. That applies to cats, dogs, wild animals, and humans. We do continue to do things we find rewarding (humans, wild animals, cats, dogs, whatever). DO WHAT YOU FIND REWARDING.
  • mshawski
    mshawski Posts: 1,054 Member
    edited October 2021
    I hate the gym, but I go 3 times a week because I found the right people. I really can't stand being out on the main floor with everyone doing their own thing, but the classes are AMAZING and filled with amazing people. I'd say find your people, they'll make any exercise place or routine 100% better. Even if it's just a gym buddy to go with you and not a class, the people part is key for those of us that lack the love for the physical gym. :) Replace "gym" with any exercise you'd like really - find someone you like to do it with you and it's a totally different game.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I don't hate the gym, but it's also not my favorite place in the world. I run a program that is designed for 2x per week as that is all the time I want to spend in the gym...or frankly really have time to spend in the gym. Running a designed program has many benefits, one of which is I know exactly what I'm going in to do that day. My program is pretty basic, but that's all I need for what I'm doing and I'm in and out in about 45 minutes.

    My biggest thing with the gym was having to get there. I already do a lot of commuting and spend a lot of time in the car and it was just yet another place to commute to. A new gym recently opened up right around the corner from the office I'm at twice per week and it takes me all of three minutes to drive around the corner, so I just go during my lunch break those two days. That convenience factor has definitely helped me be more consistent in the weight room.

    Most of my exercise is cycling, mountain biking, and walking. I do some hiking here and there as well, but usually only when we're either camping or we're on a trip like this last weekend in Moab, UT. I spent about 5 years doing a lot of endurance cycling events and races, but training for those started to become a big time suck and with my kids getting older and getting into their own sports and whatnot, having that kind of time became increasingly difficult. I still ride quite a bit, but it's more recreational. I keep one of my bikes at my other office and usually ride during my lunch break for 45 minutes or so. I keep my road bike and mountain bike at home for options there and really enjoy getting out for either a long road ride on the weekend or spending a few hours in the mountains on my mountain bike. I also walk my dog pretty much daily...first thing early in the morning during the summer and usually when I get home in the evening during this time of year. Nothing big, just a couple of miles or so.

    Finding something you enjoy doing is kind of trial and error. It took me quite awhile to discover my bike love. I hardly think of it as exercise...more recreation and hobby than anything.

  • ritzvin
    ritzvin Posts: 2,860 Member
    edited October 2021
    For the lifting, I had to schedule it into a fixed set of time blocks. I needed it set into schedule to force myself to go and build the habit. And I go to the gym closest to work right before work when the gym is less busy and it doesn't cut into time for the cardio I enjoy, and doesn't really add to my required commuting. And I only go to the gym for lifting. (If you have cardio that you enjoy, don't bother with the gym for that). ETA: I also went with the simplest lifting routine possible that gets me in and out of the gym quickly while still being quite effective.
  • jseams1234
    jseams1234 Posts: 1,219 Member
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.
  • jseams1234
    jseams1234 Posts: 1,219 Member
    wunderkindking wrote: »
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.

    You. You do realize there are people who love things because they're hard and challenging and even physically painful, and the feeling of euphoria in aftermath of doing hard things is kind of addictive, right?

    I don't enjoy lifting weights in particular but I DO enjoy other physically uncomfortable, difficult, mentally taxing things that even scare me. Because living through it feels FANTASTIC. Or the activity itself is just that fun for me anyway and the euphoria "BUT I DIDN"T DIE" thing just adds to it.

    You do realize you are in the "Bodybuilding" section of the forums and that OP has expressed a desire to reveal his genetic "jacked" self? He's not going to get that by playing disc golf or muddying about randomly lifting 5# DB's in the gym and ignoring his diet. It's going to be hard and it's likely to be unpleasant.

    I also did say that my opinion would be unpopular, particularly on MFP.

    https://youtu.be/9rntl-L8HWc
  • Eltriste73
    Eltriste73 Posts: 126 Member
    wunderkindking wrote: »
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more?

    You. You do realize there are people who love things because they're hard and challenging and even physically painful, and the feeling of euphoria in aftermath of doing hard things is kind of addictive, right?


    True, 100% me
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.

    That's not true at all. I know lots of guys who love lifting and they're jacked, so they're not sitting around lacking effort. My trainer is jacked and a retired professional athlete and powerlifting competitor and owns the state record for squat and deadlift in his weight class. He loves the gym so much that he and his wife own their own and he's there everyday from 5AM to 9PM training clients and getting his own workout in.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    edited October 2021
    There are basically a lot of psychology behind this.

    The long and short of it is, though, that there are people who are predisposed to think suffering is a virtue and somehow superior, and people who don't have that particular dysfunction (and it is a dysfunction)

    And people who feel like they have to be good at something immediately and people who sincerely enjoy a challenge and find PROGRESS and EFFORT in and of itself highly rewarding.

    NOOOOONE of it is connected to performance.

    -Signed, not jacked but successful at competitive sports I am not 'naturally' good at, at all, some of which cause me pain, all of which I love.
  • ritzvin
    ritzvin Posts: 2,860 Member
    edited October 2021
    Adding that while I don't love lifting all that much, the major improvement it made to the sports that I do love (and that I am bit more competitive in), made it continue to be a priority for me to get it done. (Ran, cycled, mountaineered for years... My ability in all of those jumped up massively after a mere few months of weightlifting). (ETA.. that was also with a mere 25-35 minutes 2x or 3x per week).
  • jseams1234
    jseams1234 Posts: 1,219 Member
    edited October 2021
    ritzvin wrote: »
    Adding that while I don't love lifting all that much, the major improvement it made to the sports that I do love (and that I am bit more competitive in), made it continue to be a priority for me to get it done. (Ran, cycled, mountaineered for years... My ability in all of those jumped up massively after a mere few months of weightlifting). (ETA.. that was also with a mere 25-35 minutes 2x or 3x per week).

    This is basically my point - although you express it much less abrasively than I did. ;)

    now speaking generally (not directed at you @ritzin):

    I don't "love" the act of lifting weights and I certainly don't find the actual process to be fun. I find it mostly painful, exhausting and mentally taxing. However, I absolutely love how it makes me feel afterwards and how it makes me look. It's why I keep doing something that I don't find particularly "fun". The rewards I experience for the efforts I put into the gym are worth it. If lifting weights and the gym were really really fun - most everybody would be walking around looking like a Greek god. Although, I'll admit that in most conversations I'll be more than willing to conflate those two things (the activity vs the rewards) and I may be caught saying I enjoy the gym... but what I'm actually expressing is my enjoyment for what it does for me.

    I'll admit maybe my previous statement may be a little hyperbolic - there are always exceptions/outliers and I'm not surprised to see counter examples to my comments. What I didn't expect was a psychological evaluation. lol

    Keep in mind, I'm mostly addressing the OP in my first comment. Someone who expressed a "hatred" for the gym and in particular lifting weights in the bodybuilding section of a fitness forum. Someone who seems to have a goal of getting "jacked". I doubt there is any way to have someone who expresses hatred for an activity do a 180 and fall in love with it - but you can be honest with them. Sometimes achieving desired results requires doing something you don't really enjoy and understanding this is one step into building the discipline and habits that will eventually help them achieve those goals. Now, if OP can achieve those goals doing an activity they love - then that is obviously what they should do.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    i take fitness classes. i agree that lifting weights and doing machines on my own would not be fun or motivating.
  • peppikaye
    peppikaye Posts: 5,655 Member
    You need a gym buddy. It makes going to the gym much more fun and it adds extra motivation.
  • TakeTheLongWayHome
    TakeTheLongWayHome Posts: 816 Member
    I have grown to love lifting. I would fit it in between long bike rides before, now I choose it every time. I’m doing a push, pull, legs split right now and really feeling stronger.
  • michaelsmithpa
    michaelsmithpa Posts: 22 Member
    My relationship with the gym has changed over the years and continues to evolve. Initially I started at the original Powerhouse on 6 mile and Woodward in Detroit's porno district. It was gritty, raw and intoxicating. I loved it. Lots of newbie gains and I loved the gym. Changed gyms a bunch of times and I didn't always love the gym. Daughter was born with multiple problems (upwards of 40 surgeries over the course of her life). Then I NEEDED the gym. Now I workout every day. It's 4:00 AM and it snowed 6 inches, the city plows have left me gifts at the end of my driveway.
    I hate going to the GYM. Recently had a patient I was treating for several weeks. I was discharging her from follow up. She asked to see my arm. Her hubby just shrugged his shoulders. I pulled up my sleeve and she said show me your muscle. I flexed my bicep and she looked at her husband and said "I told you he was jacked". I love going to the GYM. Go to Myrtle beach in the summer for a conference and most guys are overweight and out of shape. I have a 6 pack with obliques that are visible. I love the GYM. At this point I am not sure if it is ego, vanity, mental or physical health but I still LIKE going to the GYM. I will turn 67 next week and hope to continue loving the GYM for many years to come.

    Please forgive the length of my comment but I found the topic and the OP very interesting
  • GreenValli
    GreenValli Posts: 1,054 Member
    I will not say "I HATE THE GYM", but I really don't like it much. But I do go and there are some things that make it easier. I go just 3 days a week. I have made pleasant conversation with the desk people that check me in. I go pretty much the same time of the day and I have made an effort to get to know others that come regularly when I also go. I bring my IPOD and enjoy the music that I like the best. I go to a gym that is not too far away from home. I talk to other gym members and chat with them. There are nice people to get to know. I ask them, "Are you riding that bike (if they are on the exercise bike) to the ice cream shop?" What flavor will you get?

    I will add that I have made it a priority in my life. I started to exercise many, many years ago. I started going regularly when my daughters were swimming at a fitness club with a gym. I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life, even now, but have lost about 50 lbs from my highest weight and I feel better. My father was such an example to me. He always did some kind of exercise, too. He was pudgy, too.

    I don't like to clean the oven. But I do it because it needs to be cleaned once in a while. When it is cleaned I am glad it is done. And when I walk out of the gym on my gym days I am also glad to be done until "the day after tomorrow".

    You have a choice. I hope you find some activity that you like that will help you improve your health. One gym when I lived in a different state, I went to a gym with a line dancing class. It was SO FUN! Look around for a place to go, find a friend, buy some cute workout clothes, and get your body moving. It is worth the time and effort. Just be consistent and do something. Make it fun if you can, but pleasant if you still don't like it much.
  • thebigdawgVIDAL
    thebigdawgVIDAL Posts: 1 Member
    yeah i also hate the gym like why don't they put a McDonald's or something in the gyms like gawd
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,659 Member
    I love going to the gym, but until our gym quits with the mask wearing whilst on the machines (including the cardio stuff), I'll be staying away. I cannot work out whilst wearing a mask.
  • Mellouk89
    Mellouk89 Posts: 469 Member
    Why would you need to join a gym to exercise I don't get that. You can exercise from home, it's just as good or better.

    I live in a studio and I lift weights at home, no excuses.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,498 Member
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.

    I'm going to say you're spot on.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,498 Member
    edited October 2021
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    wunderkindking wrote: »
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.

    You. You do realize there are people who love things because they're hard and challenging and even physically painful, and the feeling of euphoria in aftermath of doing hard things is kind of addictive, right?

    I don't enjoy lifting weights in particular but I DO enjoy other physically uncomfortable, difficult, mentally taxing things that even scare me. Because living through it feels FANTASTIC. Or the activity itself is just that fun for me anyway and the euphoria "BUT I DIDN"T DIE" thing just adds to it.

    You do realize you are in the "Bodybuilding" section of the forums and that OP has expressed a desire to reveal his genetic "jacked" self? He's not going to get that by playing disc golf or muddying about randomly lifting 5# DB's in the gym and ignoring his diet. It's going to be hard and it's likely to be unpleasant.

    I also did say that my opinion would be unpopular, particularly on MFP.

    https://youtu.be/9rntl-L8HWc

    100% agree.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,498 Member
    Chieflrg wrote: »
    jseams1234 wrote: »
    I hate the gym too... but you know what I hated more? Being out of shape, weak, and skinny. I'm not any of those things anymore and I'll keep doing what I need to do to keep it that way. Yeah, part of it vanity - but at least I'm honest about that part.

    I'm going to say something really unpopular now, but IMO - anybody who says they enjoy the gym and the act of lifting weights isn't putting enough effort into it to matter. It's uncomfortable (often painful) on may levels and if it's not - if you don't have to mentally prepare for each set, if you can just coast through a session and go home feeling refreshed - well, you are probably wasting your time, will see zero results, and end up quitting for that reason. However, if you do it right it can be incredibly rewarding. That "reward" is what keeps me going back.

    No. Why I agree one shouldn't precisely coast 100%, one also does not to need to destroy themselves. There is established evidence showing benefits with both resistance training and cardio at a lower scale of intensity and exertion that what you are staking as needed for results. One can perform LISS style cardio and obtain great benefits. One can perform and gain both hypertrophy and strength with much much lower intensity than once thought.

    One of the biggest blocks some of my lifters have to overcome is to the realization there is a better way to get results than walking out the door feeling they had to be uncomfortable, in pain at some point, posting hashtags RIP back with how much sweat was visualized or they didn't accomplish anything and won't see results and as you claim "probably wasting your time". Where in that a all or nothing style of training will yield some results, they are far in between optimal without proper load management and a ever increasing risk for injury which makes adherence lower and as well as results on average.

    I'm not saying what you are doing for you is wrong, I'm saying it's not ideal for the majority of people and the evidence shows quite clearly we can benefit greatly under lesser conditions for short term and long term.

    There is a sweet spot of useful stress that doesn't require you to dislike the challenge of training. I do realize not everyone enjoys or prefers to...I do feel with proper guidance and education many of those people could if more options revealed instead of the all or nothing mentality.

    I will also add many people enjoy cardio or resistance training even if coasting because they have different goals than you possibly. Such as relieving anxiety, stress, depression, chronic pain, etc...all of these reasons are also why I personally enjoyed training for over 40 years. Training gave me a better quality of life than if I didn't regardless how hard I pushed.

    I hope my words don't come off harsh but perhaps bringing some light to other people's points of view.

    Have a nice day!

    Agree with the "sweet spot" thought. There is most likely some hyperbole in any statement where someone says they go balls to the wall in every workout. Nobody, including the world's best athletes can or try to do that.

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