Delayed onset of sleep

I've struggled with delayed sleep onset since I was a child. There are rare occasions when I fall asleep within a few minutes but it is common for me to lay awake for any where from 30 minutes to several hours.

I find it incredibly frustrating to feel tired (sometimes exhausted) but be unable to sleep.

Often I lay in the dark and just think random things - my favourite way of "counting sheep" is to imagine what I would spend a very large lottery win on. I have mental plans for a house and land and orchard and stables etc. I have had a long time to think about these "sheep".

I have tried several recommendations for encouraging earlier sleep onset - warm bath/shower before bed, cold room (I keep my room cold anyway), warm snuggly blankets (mine are lovely and heavy/snuggly); a warm drink before bed, blue screen timeouts, doctor prescribed sleeping tablets, meditation, breathing exercises; soft music in background, essential oils in vaporiser etc etc.

Nothing so far has encouraged earlier onset of sleep. I am in the process of being assessed for ADHD and it is a relatively common complaint among those who have ADHD so there may be little I can do about it.

When I do eventually fall asleep I often have a great, very restful sleep and wake feeling if not refreshed at least bright eyed and "awake".

Who else lays awake for ages before falling asleep?

Replies

  • It's definitely related to ADHD, but here is what has helped me a lot. (This advice is worth exactly what you pay for it, so...(grin))

    I try to make sure I have had a busy day with both physical and mental activity. Usually right before I take my shower and go to bed I get on my exercise bike and ride for a little bit as it seems to get the fidgets out. I do read in bed and always have, but I pick things that are interesting but not so interesting I'll stay awake to finish it or get excited by the plot. (Being a biology geek, the current bedtime reading is on the histology of non-mammalian synapsids.) I read on a Kindle and honestly the whole blue light thing doesn't seem to bother me much.

    I do get up on time and go to bed about the same time every night, and after a while my brain has worked out that okay, this is what we do. I need to do this to help decrease my migraine frequency, but it seems to have other good effects.

    A weighted blanket helps. However, I'm a dual dx with autism, so it may be more that than the ADHD.

    I don't use melatonin, but I have found that edibles help make my brain be quiet enough to go to sleep. I don't always use them. I can kind of tell as the evening winds down whether or not tonight is going to be a night for it, and I do find my rescue med for panic attacks also works, but as it is widely known to be addictive, I'm very careful to use it intermittently if at all.

  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,991 Member
    edited November 2021

    ADHD/autistic here too.

    I have a routine for bed. Involves a podcast to listen to, which helps clear my mind of anything that might be rattling around. And medicinal herb. Which might not be accessible to everyone. I do have a prescription due to other health issues. And getting my CPAP on exactly right so it feels good and doesn’t leak

    I don’t worry too much about how long it takes to fall asleep, as long as it’s not a couple hours.

  • melanieclark777
    melanieclark777 Posts: 53 Member

    Sleep is a struggle for me. I doing good if I get 4 hours. Better if I get 5 hours. Excellent if I get 6 or more hours.


    I do have a mental illness. I don't want to use it as an excuse so therefore I need to work on habits that will contribute to a healthier sleep life. I think if I can get some suggestions that I can try, I believe I can find something that works for me.


    I currently do a FPFH bible study first.

    I have a sleep regimen that includes winding down second ... I like to meditate for a bit, use calm.com for a bit, breathe techniques to slow down a bit more, some days I like to color in child and adult coloring books, draw my own Mandolin pictures and color them, among many others ....


    after winding down, I listen to music for a bit, very much in the realm of slowing down genres like classical or christian contemporary.


    Then I lay down. It takes a while for me to drift to sleep. I will wake up after a couple to four hours ( I try so hard to roll over a fall asleep again) after waiting to fall asleep I get up and listen to music again ... sometime I can lay back down and go back to sleep ... while other times I'm wide awake.


    Please ... if anyone can give me suggestions on other things I can do for winding down.


    Nothing in preparation ... because I currently

    1. darken the room where I seep
    2. tune off devices before I begin the winding down step
    3. avoid caffeine after 2p
    4. no napping during the day
    5. I try to consistently go to bed at the same time every night which is one to two hours after I get off work
    6. take melatonin 5-10 mg
    7. take magnesium glycinate 1000 mg
    8. avoid alcohol
    9. adjust temperature inside, noise inside and lights outside my window
    10. avoid eating late
    11. take a relaxing shower or bath with candles
    12. I have a new mattress and pillow (2021)
    13. I get plenty of exercise during the day .. I don't exercise right before bedtime
    14. stop drinking liquids one hour before bed
    15. I have been trying to eat foods that will help increase sleep time like bedtime teas, almonds, turkey and cherry juice (don't like the taste of cherry juice so I don't have this but maybe twice a year)
    16. I have talked to my doctor (the suggestion here was to post in MFP) to see if I can get some other ideas from people in here
    17. open to try anything not listed above

    Thank you so much for reading and for any suggestions given!

    Peace,

    Melanie

  • My partners have pretty severe mental illnesses, too. They have Trazodone prescribed to help with that middle of the night awakening. They take one at bedtime and if they wake up, they'll take another one.

    (I'm not overstating it. Between the three of us: 2 people with Dissociative Identity Disorder, 2 people with ADHD, 2 people with autism, one Major Depressive Disorder, a Generalized Anxiety Disorder with panic attacks, 2 cases of complex PTSD, two bipolar disorders, and some Borderline personality issues. My "job" is to keep them functioning and able to work, and between the three of us we all manage to fill in each other's weak spots and do...pretty good.)

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    edited November 2021

    All I can say is that I take 3g of melatonin 1/2 hr before bed. Rare that I have a going to sleep problem.


    My take is this- sleep, like many things, responds to habit. melatonin can help you "set" your sleep cycle. After a week you can stop and see how it goes. I'm 66, but started having sleep problems with menopause 10 yrs ago. That's when my doctor told me to try melatonin. I still use it. My day goes so much better with a good nights sleep.

  • richardgavel
    richardgavel Posts: 1,001 Member
    edited November 2021
    It's very easy for my mind to keep me awake. My solution is listening to sports radio podcasts while I'm falling asleep. Mindless enough to not make me think but enough to distract me from thinking. Granted it helps that I'm a sports fan 😜
  • sheahughes
    sheahughes Posts: 133 Member
    It's very easy for my mind to keep me awake. My solution is listening to sports radio podcasts while I'm falling asleep. Mindless enough to not make me think but enough to distract me from thinking. Granted it helps that I'm a sports fan 😜

    My commiserations on being a sports fan! Perhaps I could listen to the latest cricket test match, that might put me to sleep immediately!
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,510 Member
    I can relate to this. If there was a time in my life when I fell asleep easily at the time I was supposed to, it is beyond my memory. Even as a small child, I used to get up in the middle of the night and wander around the house. For years I self-medicated with a drink or two, but recently decided I want to stop that, so I've been forced to revisit more traditional ways. I'm still figuring out what works for me, so I am hesitant to offer any suggestions, but know that you are not alone!
  • queenfree28
    queenfree28 Posts: 4 Member
    I’m a “night person”. I had a sleep study years ago and they said I had a “delayed sleep phase.” It was a problem when I had jobs where I had to get up early but honestly, I find it much easier to adjust my lifestyle and schedule. I just don’t force myself to go to bed earlier than I’m ready. A couple things that help are reading and just getting off screens. (Reading a real book, not kindle etc, will make you sleepy IF you’re ready.). Also music and binaural beat programs or guided imagery/hypnosis type programs. I will add that I had health issues and a sleep deficit for years and I was deficient in Vitamin B and Vitamin D. Getting my levels up—especially the Vitamin D —really helps. You have to stick with it for months if you supplement and do higher doses to get numbers to go up. I also have to watch if I wake up with less than 7 hours sleep—even if I feel awake and perky, it’s not enough, so I try to relax and stay in bed and drift back off if I can. I averaged 5 1/2 hours a night for a few years and it’s miserable. My health is much better getting closer to 9 now. I’ve tracked weightloss too and I will NOT lose if I sleep less than 7 hours. I just sleep late if I stay up late and don’t worry about it.
  • sheahughes
    sheahughes Posts: 133 Member
    Unfortunately I'm a book person, any book doesn't matter if I start reading I'm wide awake until I finish
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,510 Member
    I like to read something I've read and loved before. Right now I am re-reading the "Dragonriders of Pern" series by Anne McCaffrey. I already know what happens, so I don't keep myself awake trying to find out. I've also been teaching myself Spanish over the last two years, so I try to spend half an hour reading in that language every night. That definitely makes my eyes tired!