Annoyed... Seriously
chocolattahottie
Posts: 104
Tonight we're having a company party. The lady that's planning the event, planned the menu. I am super committed to working out and meeting my goal. I asked her what was on the menu, so I can plan ahead. As a supervisor, I don't ask people crazy questions for no reason, I just don't want to just eat crap and deal with it later. That's always my downfall. She in turn, becomes super ***** and says, "why just eat what there", granted, I am sure she is busy. but the attitude was gross and she may not give a darn what she eats, but I do.
I find it annoying when people don't take ours in consideration. She knows I am trying to lose weight for many reasons and the attitude was just not needed. At the end she apologized and wanted to "play nice" but I pretty much brushed her off.
I find it annoying when people don't take ours in consideration. She knows I am trying to lose weight for many reasons and the attitude was just not needed. At the end she apologized and wanted to "play nice" but I pretty much brushed her off.
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Replies
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Wait -- so you're her BOSS and she answered you in this way? Wow.0
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This is so frustrating. She could have been very nice about it and just told you, you were never insulting her! Of course you will just eat it, but that is not the point!
Good luck!0 -
Wow, what an incredibly rude reply. How does she know you might not be gluten intolerant or have some other food allergy? Nice woman, really...0
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she shouldn't have said that, but at the same time, if you're the minority it's not her job to cater to you. i find it really obnoxious when my work has cake and what not and offers me some, but i'm not going to ask them to not bring it because i don't eat it. at meetings we have fried chicken and things like that, but everyone else eats it so i'm not going to ask them to bring something healthy since i'm the only one who really cares. if its a big deal, bring something for yourself.0
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Ick! It's not like you were being rude about it--You just wanted to know so that you could plan! It's a compeltely valid question, and I don't think that response was warranted at all. I commend you for sticking to your goals in situations like the upcoming party. I always find it very difficult to stay on track at times like this!
Regina0 -
I plan our office Holiday party every year. I can't imagine having a problem telling anyone what is on the menu. I try to have choices for most people, but I know that it is impossible to please everyone. If someone has a question about the menu so they can plan their day accordingly, I'm happy to help them out. Sounds like she's just being a pain for no reason.0
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Life is short, people tend to suck. Why waste the energy on her? And also, don't ever expect people to help you eat well or work out. You working towards a goal is a threat to them, it makes them feel weaker, so don't ever expect. You can only rely on yourself. The bad food and temptation to be lazy will ALWAYS be all around you. You can minimize it in some respects, but you'll never control it all. So, deal with it, eat healthy, and save your energy for your workout...0
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Sorry to hear this. I have been a vegetarian for 10 years, so I always have to ask that question whether or not I am dieting. And then to top it off, I get sassy back talk like "oh, you're one of THOSE people". I get the same response with watching calories, too.
Don't take it personally...she is obviously having a problem elsewhere and took it out on you. I suggest eating a handful or two of veggies before hand so if the food is unhealthy, you can eat less of it because your stomach will feel somewhat full.0 -
I would not go to the party is she's going to be that way about it.0
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i understand what you mean and how you feel. i get annoyed when i am at an event, someone else's house, or even when someone else cooks a meal and i get 'attitude' if i just don't eat what's offered. a certain someone i am close to finds it 'rude' if i don't eat 'whats for dinner' -- per se. they come off like this: 'hey, i went to all this effort and now i expect you to eat what i spent time making'. ok, i can hear about the effort, but there is just something within all of it that annoys me to no end.
hope you enjoy your company party and get some healthy food that makes YOU happy!0 -
Tonight we're having a company party. The lady that's planning the event, planned the menu. I am super committed to working out and meeting my goal. I asked her what was on the menu, so I can plan ahead. As a supervisor, I don't ask people crazy questions for no reason, I just don't want to just eat crap and deal with it later. That's always my downfall. She in turn, becomes super ***** and says, "why just eat what there", granted, I am sure she is busy. but the attitude was gross and she may not give a darn what she eats, but I do.
I find it annoying when people don't take ours in consideration. She knows I am trying to lose weight for many reasons and the attitude was just not needed. At the end she apologized and wanted to "play nice" but I pretty much brushed her off.
do we have the same boss?????0 -
Sounds like a defensive reaction to me. Either she planned a really unhealthy menu or she needs to shed a few pounds herself and your inquiry just triggered her own guilty feelings. Either way, the comment that she wanted to 'play nice' just exaggerates her childishness. Adults are thoughtful, considerate and mature - none of which describe her behavior.
A little accommodation of your serious health needs by full disclosure of the menu is not only appropriate, it could even be considered a requirement of the Disabilities Act. If you have high blood pressure for example, knowing the sodium content is critical. If you have high cholesterol, information of the menu items is critical for you make appropriate choices for your dietary intake. Food allergies can also be a factor in such requests. These are not uncommon situations. My company always sends an email with the full menu for any company event for exactly these reasons.
Your annoyance is understandable0 -
Maybe bring something healthy with you just in case there's nothing there you find will fit your goals...or plan an extra workout for that evening....or call it a free day and eat whatever you please....it's not a bad idea to do that once in a while.0
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I work in the insurance industry and most of my employers are wanting to become more health concious in order to help keep their costs down. You would think that an employer would want to set an example and supply healthy options to their employees. I guess not everyone has jumped on board with wellness. Hopefully they will get there.
I struggle with that in the office too. They actually charge people more for their insurance if they fall into bad habits such as their BMI is too high, smoking etc. You would think they would want to promote health and wellness when they supply a meal. Try not to give in to the temptations!
Good luck!0 -
Life is short, people tend to suck. Why waste the energy on her? And also, don't ever expect people to help you eat well or work out. You working towards a goal is a threat to them, it makes them feel weaker, so don't ever expect. You can only rely on yourself. The bad food and temptation to be lazy will ALWAYS be all around you. You can minimize it in some respects, but you'll never control it all. So, deal with it, eat healthy, and save your energy for your workout...
thank you for that.0 -
It's always a good idea when planning a food service for people to allow people to know in advance what is going to be on the menu. Many people have religious or dietary needs that they have to take into consideration.0
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Exactly... What if somebody had serious allergies? She needs to take that kind of stuff into consideration.It's always a good idea when planning a food service for people to allow people to know in advance what is going to be on the menu. Many people have religious or dietary needs that they have to take into consideration.0 -
When I go to functions I usually eat ahead of time. I cannot expect the planners to make sure there is something vegan for me to eat and make sure that the vegan dish is also health conscious.
The same should go for everyone who wants control over what they eat. You would have had to feed yourself if there was not a function to attend, so they are under no obligation to make sure your dietary requirements are met. Remember that not everyone is counting calories and watching what they eat.
That being said, I think she could have responded in a better way - perhaps telling you that she is swamped and hopes there is something there that you will enjoy.0 -
When I go to functions I usually eat ahead of time. I cannot expect the planners to make sure there is something vegan for me to eat and make sure that the vegan dish is also health conscious.
The same should go for everyone who wants control over what they eat. You would have had to feed yourself if there was not a function to attend, so they are under no obligation to make sure your dietary requirements are met. Remember that not everyone is counting calories and watching what they eat.
That being said, I think she could have responded in a better way - perhaps telling you that she is swamped and hopes there is something there that you will enjoy.
Exactly what I was thinking, minus the being vegan part.0 -
Wow, what an incredibly rude reply. How does she know you might not be gluten intolerant or have some other food allergy? Nice woman, really...
Thinking of my kind of people.
My suggestion would be, bring your own food places if you're that concerned. I have multiple food allergies, I don't expect anyone to cater to me. I take my own food every where, or I don't eat. End of story.
Edited to add: I don't ask what will be served, simply because I don't expect to be able to eat what will be served, I was not assuming the OP was expecting special treatment.0 -
I don't believe the OP was asking for special treatment (ie special food for the gathering) all she wanted to know was what was on the menu so she could plan accordingly. I think this is a fabulous strategy! It wasn't that she was asking for low cal/low carb/low fat dishes.....
I was a vegetarian in the past and I always asked what was being served so I knew how to prepare for the evening. Now, I ask what is being served so I can either pre-plan to save some calories beforehand/work out extra or, failing that, know that I have to eat before I go so that I don't overdo when I am there. The person planning the event should be more forthcoming and needs a smack for her attitude.0 -
I don't understand why some of you are jumping all over the OP for asking for special treatment. You made up that part of the story. All she asked was what was being served.0
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Tell her you have a lot of food allergies and don't want to ruin their night by having to go to the hospital.0
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RUDE!
As others have said, you could have a food allergy. It's not an unresonable question!0 -
Tonight we're having a company party. The lady that's planning the event, planned the menu. I am super committed to working out and meeting my goal. I asked her what was on the menu, so I can plan ahead. As a supervisor, I don't ask people crazy questions for no reason, I just don't want to just eat crap and deal with it later. That's always my downfall. She in turn, becomes super ***** and says, "why just eat what there", granted, I am sure she is busy. but the attitude was gross and she may not give a darn what she eats, but I do.
I find it annoying when people don't take ours in consideration. She knows I am trying to lose weight for many reasons and the attitude was just not needed. At the end she apologized and wanted to "play nice" but I pretty much brushed her off.
Maybe she just had her hands full at the moment and your question pushed her over the edge, even though the question was innocent and appropriate, she might have been in a not so good place when you asked it. She did apologize, she realized she shouldn't have responded as she did. My take... be gracious, accept the apology and move on.0 -
I think it was perfectly acceptable to ask what was on the menu...was it suppose to be a surprise??? The reaction of the menu-planner was overboard and unacceptable, but she did try to 'make nice' later. Perhaps she knew she was in the wrong, to 'blow her off' was not the best approach. If you wanted to feel better about the whole conversation and create an understanding it would have been better to say something on the order of: 'It seems that the menu is a touchy/sore subject, have you been having problems with planning it?" Maybe you would have found out some better information and realized that you were just an unfortunate recipient of a stressed out menu-planner. If her answer was "no, no problem" then you can respond "well I felt you were angry with me asking." This opens an opportunity for her to apologize, or to continue to be a jerk, but at least you weren't the jerk in the end.
JMHO..If we all had perfect relationships with our co-workers what would we complain about??? Believe me I've been exposed to many back-stabbing b!tches!! But I keep trying to be better, after all we spend lots of time with co-workers...kill em with kindness!!0
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