help?

auntmimi
auntmimi Posts: 7
edited September 19 in Introduce Yourself
So, I have this friend who is on the larger size. I am worried about her health. How can I bring this topic up without hurting her feelings. She has 3 beautiful children that can't live without her. I am afraid she is not going to be able to watch them grow up because she is so big.

Replies

  • auntmimi
    auntmimi Posts: 7
    So, I have this friend who is on the larger size. I am worried about her health. How can I bring this topic up without hurting her feelings. She has 3 beautiful children that can't live without her. I am afraid she is not going to be able to watch them grow up because she is so big.
  • RachVR6
    RachVR6 Posts: 3,688 Member
    Well if you're on the road to a healthier lifestyle, maybe ask if she wants to keep you company. Tell her you need someone you love and trust, to keep you accountable! :flowerforyou:
  • pooh70
    pooh70 Posts: 38 Member
    Invite her to be your workout buddy. Tell her you need someone to work out with that will keep you motivated and on track. This will actually benefit both of you, as you can motivate each other. I have a friend who is smaller than me that I work out with. It is so nice to have someone that keeps me accountable. I am sure she is wanting to do something, but just isn't sure where to start. :smile:
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
    there is absolutely no way to tell her she needs to lose weight without being offensive. There just isn't. Hopefully she will see how well you're doing and want to do this for herself, but broaching the subject with her, even though you're doing it out of love, will only alienate her.
  • berggrog
    berggrog Posts: 8
    I agree, going directly at her about her health is not the right approach. Be a cooperative supportive friend that asks her to go for a walk or something once in a while.

    I think food addiction is as strong as any other addiction, but an intervention style confrontation is counter productive. Telling her to cut back is not going to work, she has to want to make the change for herself.

    Be the supportive and helpful friend first... then go from there.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    First, how overweight is she?
    Your perception of "overweight" might not mean her health is in danger.
    Also, it really is her business. If she's overweight, she knows it. If she wants to lose the weight, she will do it. If you want to help her, wait til she brings it up first.
    The bottom line is if you try to push weight loss on her you'll only end up hurting her feelings.
    The best thing you can do is to just be her friend and stop worrying about her weight.
    It's her body. And it's just plain rude in my opinion to obsess over a friend's weight.

    I know I'd be really hurt if a friend confronted me about my weight. I know I need to lose weight, and that's why I'm on this site. But, I needed to come to that conclusion myself. Not have people tell me it.
  • tami1024
    tami1024 Posts: 26
    I know you mean well, but take the advice from everyone here. Talking to your friend about being overweight is the worst thing you can do. She knows it and when she is ready she will do something about it. Just be the friend that you have always been. You have a big heart and your intentions are well natured but leave the wt lose up to her.
  • auntmimi
    auntmimi Posts: 7
    Ok, so I have taken in all the advice. I am just going to wait for her to bring it up. Thanks for all the advice.
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