Are you sick???~~~

kje2011
kje2011 Posts: 502 Member
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
Well I am not sure if I should be happy or insulted.

Here's the thing, my mom and I went to our local town restaurant. When we were done, my mom went to pay for the meal (thankyou!) and I went back to work.
The waitress at the till asked my mom --'your daughter has lost weight, is she alright?"
My mom replied "yes, she is healthy"
Waitress"oh, ok, she looks good! I just didn't want to say anything to her just in case she was sick"

What the heck!?
I am 5'9 and 170 lbs. I am not skinny by no means, and definitely healthy. I am pretty sure I don't look sick.
and ideally I would love to lose about 15 or so lbs more!
Two years ago I was 205lbs.

wow, just not quite sure what to think. Other than it is my body that needs to be at a healthy weight as I get older.

thanks for 'listening'

kje

Replies

  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Total compliment.
    The waitress obviously has noticed that you are looking great. And most likely within ashort amount of time has noticed the drop.

    Keep rocking it
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    edit: other folks said it a lot better than I did :)

    You look great :)
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
    I wouldn't take offense. It was actually nice of her to show concern, and remember that she followed up by saying you look great. :-) Obviously you are some what of a regular so she was able to notice your weight loss (its not uncommon for people to fall ill and lose lots of weight in the process) I kinda look at it like when you think a woman may or may not be pregnant. You don't want to ask for fear of offending her and being wrong... but in most cases the woman is just healthy and pregnant :-)

    BTW great job.. you do look great :-)
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    Shes probably put her foot in it like I once did and doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

    I worked with a larger lady at a primary school, after the 6 weeks summer holidays it was obvious she had lost weight, was looking good for it too so I commented, poor woman almost burst into tears, she'd lost her parents and been diagnosed with cancer in the 6 weeks and was undergoing chemo....I never felt so bad in all my life. Weight loss...I will NEVER comment on it again unless I KNOW them and know they are trying to lose weight
  • MiaOrange
    MiaOrange Posts: 151 Member
    Someone asked me if that was why I lost weight after I lost about 40 lbs.
  • Tereztaylor07
    Tereztaylor07 Posts: 200
    I have lost 60 lbs since the beginning of this year, and a few people have made that comment. People lose weight when they go through chemo or other devastating diseases, so they don't want to compliment someone if that's the reason. But I would hope that I don't look like a cancer/chemo patient but I am always ghostly pale, so I don't let it bother me lol.
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    She was playing it safe. I wouldn't take any offense. It was a compliment to you.

    I've been in situations where I hesitated to compliment someone because I didn't want to find out they had been horribly sick and that's why they lost the weight even though they look great now. I've given that compliment before and felt like dirt afterwards.
  • kje2011
    kje2011 Posts: 502 Member
    Shes probably put her foot in it like I once did and doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

    I worked with a larger lady at a primary school, after the 6 weeks summer holidays it was obvious she had lost weight, was looking good for it too so I commented, poor woman almost burst into tears, she'd lost her parents and been diagnosed with cancer in the 6 weeks and was undergoing chemo....I never felt so bad in all my life. Weight loss...I will NEVER comment on it again unless I KNOW them and know they are trying to lose weight


    Oh dear, yes I understand! Seeing it from her point of view and from your story - thank you :)
  • MarandaPanda86
    MarandaPanda86 Posts: 112
    I wouldn't take offense to it because you obviously look very different and you can't always tell when someone is "sick". Imagine if you did have GI issues, AIDS or some other wasting illness and she had said "You look great!" To which you reply "Thanks, the cancer is really doing wonders for my figure." Who knows, maybe it's already happened to the poor girl? Take it as a compliment from someone who is obviously VERY honest because she could have held that last part back ;)
  • MarandaPanda86
    MarandaPanda86 Posts: 112
    Shes probably put her foot in it like I once did and doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

    I worked with a larger lady at a primary school, after the 6 weeks summer holidays it was obvious she had lost weight, was looking good for it too so I commented, poor woman almost burst into tears, she'd lost her parents and been diagnosed with cancer in the 6 weeks and was undergoing chemo....I never felt so bad in all my life. Weight loss...I will NEVER comment on it again unless I KNOW them and know they are trying to lose weight

    My point exactly!
  • James_1954
    James_1954 Posts: 187 Member
    You look wonderful -- and the server said so, too. But there are happy reasons and sad ones for weight loss. She was probably just wanting to make sure she wasn't complimenting a cancer patient on weight loss that might have been both involuntary and distressing.

    It's kind of like noticing that a woman you know is starting to look a little pregnant. You don't dare say anything unless she's panting and asking you for a ride to the birthing center, 'cause if you're wrong ... well, that's not just getting your foot caught in your mouth -- that's more like the whole leg!
  • momocurti
    momocurti Posts: 152 Member
    I can understand that, especially if you've lost it quickly... I've had a couple of friends go through divorces recently and both lost like 30 lbs fast. When people ask one of my friends how she did it she tells them "easy! my husband cheated on me!" She calls it the Divorce Diet.

    My point is that weight loss isn't always intentional or a good thing when it comes to things like illnesses or personal crises, so the waitress was probably just trying to be sensitive to that! I know I'm a lot more aware and hesitant to ask people about it if it seems to have happened quickly.

    All that said, congrats on your weight loss, I'm sure you look fab!!
  • kje2011
    kje2011 Posts: 502 Member
    I wouldn't take offense. It was actually nice of her to show concern, and remember that she followed up by saying you look great. :-) Obviously you are some what of a regular so she was able to notice your weight loss (its not uncommon for people to fall ill and lose lots of weight in the process) I kinda look at it like when you think a woman may or may not be pregnant. You don't want to ask for fear of offending her and being wrong... but in most cases the woman is just healthy and pregnant :-)

    BTW great job.. you do look great :-)


    She is a nice gal, and she did have to deal with cancer in her family, so from her point of view I can understand now. (boy I feel sheepish)
    thanks for your explanation! much appreciated :)
  • Surrealgamer
    Surrealgamer Posts: 11 Member
    She was playing it safe. I wouldn't take any offense. It was a compliment to you.

    Take it as a compliment. You look great in your profile picture! The phrasing probably had a lot more to do with the lady making the compliment than with you.
  • queen_bea
    queen_bea Posts: 118
    Shes probably put her foot in it like I once did and doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

    I worked with a larger lady at a primary school, after the 6 weeks summer holidays it was obvious she had lost weight, was looking good for it too so I commented, poor woman almost burst into tears, she'd lost her parents and been diagnosed with cancer in the 6 weeks and was undergoing chemo....I never felt so bad in all my life. Weight loss...I will NEVER comment on it again unless I KNOW them and know they are trying to lose weight


    Oh dear, yes I understand! Seeing it from her point of view and from your story - thank you :)

    my thoughts exactly. Take it as a compliment girl! She was probably not wanting to make a big happy "omg look at you, you look amazing" about it just in case, because a) she's probably done it before and doesn't ever want to make someone feel bad again, and/or b) cancers and illnesses are growing at such rapid rates these days, you don't know how many people out there are actually sick. :(
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