I Never Thought I Would Cry About It

ADC0809 · January 2022

WOW, I am just about back where I started in 2012 at 43, 5'2" and 244 lbs. At one point I just wanted to feel better and be off all medication. I saw myself turning in to my mother and that was not what I wanted at all. I started slow and while at times is was super hard by the end at 158 lbs from a size 20 to a 2/4 I felt better, off all meds. Though that was a little small for my taste I did get to a very happy 4/6 range for several years.

When I turned 50, I did notice some body changes - life! At the end of 2019 I was starting to get back into focus my goals and felt great about what I thought I could achieve with the not controllable changes my body.

Then, we all know what happened (T2020H), all of a sudden no gym, not walking or moving around beyond the walls of my house. I did a lot of keeping myself busy, bought a stationary bike, treadmill and elliptical, I already had a good collection of weights. So I should have been set. But that did not happen, first I injured my knee, well no actually first I started baking way too much and learned how easy is was to make caramel corn at home along with a lot of other bad habits.

So now I am 220 lbs, I just got a stability boot and cane

this is where the tears come. I cried while I waited to be fit with the boot. I feel so defeated but not out of the game yet. I believe I can regroup and at the end of the day be proud of myself. My goal is to get better, I know weight is playing a large part in my injuries. Right now I cannot exercise and that is scaring me but I know I can return to it and be better. So I might cry a few more times in the next few weeks but these will be like detox tears - they need to come out so I can make room for something better.

KIC127 · January 2022

Hang in there. Tears are ok. But sounds like you are getting back into the mindset to move to be healthy again, and that's what's important. I didn't do well with the last two years either, but decided I'm ready to do something about it again, so here I am! You can do this!

sarah7591 · January 2022

Hugs for you. You are only 50 and you can turn this around. Take it one day at a time.

girlwithcurls2 · January 2022

I'm sorry you're blue. It sounds like you know how to get back on track, but like all of us who have slid down the slope, you what it will take to get it all back. Give yourself time. Six months from now, you'll be so glad you started.

It's becoming cliche, but this is just such a hard time overall. It just is. Everything seems to be hard right now. You're not alone. And you can get support here when you need it. Crying is cathartic. You are right that the tears will go out and make room for something else. Be ready for a few setbacks and they'll be less disappointing. You're OK. You really are.

Hugs to you.

AnnPT77 · January 2022

You absolutely can do this. Positive steps, day at a time.

Also, you say you can't exercise, but mention the knee injury. Can you still do upper body exercise? If so, that may be a way to start re-establishing an exercise habit, when you're ready to do that, even if you can't do the full range of activities. There are even quite a few YouTube videos with seated workout routines, including some quite vigorous ones aimed at wheelchair athletes.

I understand that you have quite a few challenges now, psychological and physical. Usually we'd tell people that the weight loss side is all about managing calorie intake, and of course that's true. In your case, though, you'll want to not drop very far below maintenance calories for your current weight, because healing is job 1. Getting adequate (generous, but not crazy-high) protein will help with that, alongside some healthy fats, plenty of varied/colorful veggies/fruits. Maybe focus on optimizing nutrition?

Any positive step can feel empowering. I'm betting there are positive steps you can begin taking now, to grab the steering wheel, start turning your habits more firmly in the direction of your goals.

I'm cheering for you! Maybe keep us posted here on how it's going, if you feel up to it, eh?

Best wishes!

lulalacroix · January 2022

You and I are in the same boat but you kept it off for longer. I lost 65 pounds and was very active. I was loving life. In 2019 I got covid and afterwards I struggled with any type of cardio. No more long hikes, no more trail running. I continued eating the same without the extra activity calories.

In less than 2 years I gained most of my weight back.

But here I am, again. And so are you. We've both done this before and we can lose the weight again.

ReenieHJ · January 2022

Search for some inspirational and motivational people who've been through this type of thing, whether here or youtube videos or somewhere. Is there a local support group that may help? It's a tough feeling thinking you're all by yourself in this endeavor.

I think I lost and gained the same 60-85 pounds all throughout my 30-60's until I hit upon a wise NP who suggested this site. I still have my ups and downs but 20 pounds not 60-85.

I have every belief that you can do this! It won't always look easy or perfect or without mistakes but you can definitely do this. Staying accountable with CICO has helped me more than anything else. And remembering it's a one day at a time venture, not to be accomplished in a short time but sustainable for my future as well.

I Never Thought I Would Cry About It

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