Dieting with a teenager in the home…
chocolatelegs
Posts: 2 Member
I’m a single mom with a 16 year old son. I have a limited income and it has been hard to accommodate both of our dietary needs. Lately, I’ve found myself just buying things that he likes which in turn sabotages my efforts at losing weight. Do not misunderstand, his dietary needs or wants are not outrageous however I wouldn’t label it as extremely healthy… (I.,e. White bread, ground beef, white rice and potatoes, lots of dairy, soda, juice, some frozen food) just to mention a few things. He does eat vegetables however I cannot get him to eat fruit and if I buy ally of it it goes bad! Not to mention the struggle I have to get him to drink water! I’m looking for/open to any suggestions that could help my situation!!!!
Please be kind!!! Thank You in advance…
Please be kind!!! Thank You in advance…
1
Replies
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I just got my son a "fun" water bottle he loves- and I also have some Mio, that stuff you squirt into the water. My oldest kiddo loves fruit, but my youngest does not. I can get him to eat apples and bananas, and that's about the extent of it. I have had luck making some smoothies, and sticking fruit into those, he loves them. Sometimes if we're celebrating something, I'll do a chocolate fondue at home with fresh fruit. I stick a few marshmallows out, but they have to have the fruit too.
I used to make separate food for myself, and the family meal, now I just do one dinner, and try my very best to make it work within my calorie count. it's definitely a balancing act. you can try and sub out the higher calorie or carb stuff if that's super important to you, but I can understand the struggle.
Best of luck!4 -
Hi there. I am a single Mum (yes a Brit) with two teenagers including a 15 year old boy who sounds similar to your son! We all like different foods so this is something I am very used to and your message resonated with me. The first thing I would say is that it is not clear which situation you want help with. Is is with 1) trying to get your son to eat more healthily ? Or is it with 2) budgeting for your different needs ? Or is it with 3) trying not to eat the 'unhealthy' foods you buy for your son ? (Or all three, like for me).
My advice for each would be :
1) Set some rules and tell him why. Your son isn't going to drink water if there is juice and soda in the house (I share your struggle). My son is allowed one small glass of juice in the morning to wake him up and then has to drink water for the rest of the day. He has to have veggies with every meal even if it is the same few on rotation. I only buy wholemeal bread - at first he hated it of course but has now got used to it and doesn't even notice it, He gets one junk meal a week (frozen pizza or fast food, snacks, soda etc) on a Friday evening and otherwise he only gets to eat junk if the whole family is eating junk. I do buy a couple of packets of cookies and a bar of chocolate for him to snack on during the week (ones that I don't like so I'm not tempted). I don't worry about white rice or ground beef and I plan meals with these ingredients. He doesn't have a lot of healthy food that he likes but I still stick with the healthy ingredients he does like and don't worry about variety - he'll get to that when he's older. I also am teaching him how to cook the sorts of meals he likes - he likes ramen for example so I am trying to learn and pass on how to cook a healthy version. It has taken us a while to get to a place where I am relatively happy with his diet (or at least not so worried). The important point for me was to actually decide to step up and devote some time and energy to this issue. I know what it's like as a single mum - you have to pick your battles. I picked this one at one point, it took a while but I didn't let up and now his diet is on track, he has new habits, I do too, and we're all happy. I will say that none of the rules are mean. It felt at first like they made him unhappy but I explain every day about healthy choices, empty calories, harmful industrial practices, my limited budget... and he does understand. Plus I'm the boss !
2) The thing that has helped my budget, and my son's diet, the most has been meal planning. I used to buy too much food and a lot of it would end up in the bin because without a plan in place for when I was going to cook that specific ingredient and what I was going to cook with it, I would get to the end of the day, exhausted after a hard day's work, knowing I had to make a meal but with no time or energy left to make a decision about what to make so I would end up cooking the quickest thing which most often is also the unhealthiest thing. And the fresh food I had optimistically bought in a more relaxed state on the weekend would just sit there going off. Now I sit down and plan all our meals and I am now used to thinking ahead and getting ahead with meal prep (defrosting this, soaking that, marinting the other...) so that I can get straight on with cooking instead of just staring into the fridge blankly for ten minutes before opening a jar of pasta sauce. When I plan the week's meal I choose budget friendly ingredients and because I no longer buy as much processed food, snacks, sodas etc (which all cost money, are very quick to eat but don't fill you up) and because I no longer over buy things like fruit (I know that I won"t need more than 5 or so pieces of fruit for the whole week whereas I used to buy whole bunches of bananas and dozens of apples) basically my budget has decreased. I think if budget is limited, quantity should be reduced before quality so I really try to get good quality fruits and vegetables and meat. I buy organic white rice in bulk etc. I always buy the cheapest versions of any household items or products that we are not going to actually eat though.
3) I have set rules for myself too. I don't eat the same thing as my kids any more. They are growing and need more calories and I am trying to shrink and need fewer calories but I need to feel full. I always eat porridge for breakfast. I eat an enormous salad for lunch and I make sure I have salad and vegetables on my plate in the evening and I just eat less of what the kids are eating. I weigh everything and never put more than 100g of carbohydrates on my plate. I put loads and loads of salad items and make sure I get enough healthy protein. I no longer use salad dressing or oil. I mix together soy sauce and vinegar and, sometimes, add the smallest amount of a chinese black-bean chili oil. I find with these strong flavours I don't need oil-based sauces. Basically I never allow myself to go hungry because that is when I will snack. And how I do that is by eating a lot of vegetables. Things like cucumber, zucchini, broccoli, carrots, bell pepper, spinach are all delicous cooked or raw, they are all cheap and they are very filling. They are always the first thing I put on my plate for every meal apart from breakfast. It's a new habit and it's working.
I hope this message is helpful, hopeful and kind.
I say that anything worthwhile takes time. It's not easy being a single mum. It's not easy parenting teenagers. It's not easy changing habits or losing weight. Nothing and nobody is perfect.
But... happiness is progress and that's the message : progress is always possible !11 -
chocolatelegs wrote: »I’m a single mom with a 16 year old son. I have a limited income and it has been hard to accommodate both of our dietary needs. Lately, I’ve found myself just buying things that he likes which in turn sabotages my efforts at losing weight. Do not misunderstand, his dietary needs or wants are not outrageous however I wouldn’t label it as extremely healthy… (I.,e. White bread, ground beef, white rice and potatoes, lots of dairy, soda, juice, some frozen food) just to mention a few things. He does eat vegetables however I cannot get him to eat fruit and if I buy ally of it it goes bad! Not to mention the struggle I have to get him to drink water! I’m looking for/open to any suggestions that could help my situation!!!!
Please be kind!!! Thank You in advance…
My suggestion: stop buying the soda. Even though he likes it, the soda will rot his teeth, plus set him up with a lifetime soda habit. My mother did that to me and I have had dental problems all my life from it. Juice is almost the same from the high sugar content. Buy water, no sugar tea, and other drinks without sugar. He night complain but will get used to it. Give him the reason.
White bread and white rice don't have much nutrition. Would your son be willing to take a nutrition/cooking class with you? Your local hospital probably has a free one.
Good luck!
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Swap the ground beef for ground turkey ( he probably won't notice )
Just don't buy soda - he'll drink other things if its not there - a few tantrums at first will be worth it to eventually wean him off of it.
Potatoes and rice are fine - so is dairy.
I normally have veg instead of rice, pasta, potatoes etc.. when I make bolognese or chilli etc
Or you could have your own stash of wholewheat carbs - they're fairly cheap.
Maybe swap the white bread for 50/50 bread.
Learn some new healthy recipes that you will both enjoy.
There's so many healthy versions of things kids like that you could make on a budget.
Like chicken goujons, pizzas, pastas etc ..
Google is your friend.
Best of luck 😊
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Ground beef is fine. If he doesn't want fruit, that's fine too as it has natural sugars.
You can search YouTube for healthy recipes. Your son may like something different.0 -
I personally see no issue with rice or potatoes or ground beef...I eat all of those things pretty regularly...if you look at the nutritional profile of a potato in particular, you will quickly realize they are actually packed with nutrition and about as close as you can get to one food being a complete food. Ground beef is just beef that has been ground up and you can get it in different %s of fat. Do you know what the difference between 93% ground beef and 93% ground turkey is? Pretty much nothing, but of course the turkey is for some reason touted as "healthy" where GB is often vilified and it just doesn't make any sense when you actually look at the nutritional profiles.
Those things are also relatively inexpensive. Rice and pasta are good fillers and can pack quite a few calories too...so for you, the biggest thing would be managing your serving sizes. For him, if he's anything like I was at that age, I needed a ton of calories just to even maintain my weight and I was still only about a buck 30 soaking wet. I just needed calories and things like rice and potatoes were cheap and easy ways for my mom to get me calories.
As to fruit, I don't think it's a big deal that he doesn't eat it. If he's eating vegetables, it's really not a big deal that he doesn't eat fruit. If you want to eat fruit I'd just buy enough for you to have a couple servings of fruit daily so it won't go bad...also fruits like apples and oranges and whatnot keep very well and are relatively cheap...you don't need some exotic fruit that goes bad in a few days. I also like berries of all sorts, but if I'm budget restrained, those aren't the first on my list, especially out of season...but you should also be able to finish off a container of fresh strawberries before they go bad if you're eating fruit daily.
As for soda and juice, my mom rarely bought those things...if I wanted that, I had to get the money together and go get it myself. I didn't drink much water at that age...I mostly drank milk...followed closely by iced tea. Again, for me at that age, milk and dairy in general was a good way to keep calories up. I have a 9 and 11 year old and they drink a ton of milk. I personally love dairy, but I only consume it occasionally as those calories can add up pretty quick and I could easily just sit there and drink glass after glass of milk. I try (and sometimes fail) to only consume cheese when I'm having a sandwich and I get it pre-sliced...it's one of those things like milk, where left to my own devices I could sit there with a big chunk of cheddar and eat away while I wash it down with a glass of milk.
The bottom line really is that most kids need calories like crazy...and me being middle aged don't. So portion control is a huge component of weight management. When we have family dinner, my wife and I will often have whatever protein and veg, while our kids will have the same along with pasta or rice, etc. We grill burgers about once per week when grilling season kicks off...my wife and I usually have a burger and a side salad...depending on where we are with weight management we may or may not have the bun...while our kids have all of that along with tater tots or french fries from the oven.3 -
I am a single mum too Maybe make a list of the foods he likes the most, then find a comparable healthy recipe and make it together? Its often a lot cheaper to cook from scratch and in bulk and freeze it than it is to buy ready made foods.
I often cook with my daughter and we have a long Saturday morning walk together as well around the woods. She doesn't know I'm counting calories or getting steps in, she sees it as healthy quality time spent together. Its actually really lovely and has benefited our lives.2 -
I'll share what I did when my daughter was young and Mac n' cheese and cheeseburgers were her favorites. I mentally separated myself from eating the same things as her and my husband. If I tried to be "let's all eat together as. family and I am the martyr who suffers.. "
I put myself first. I planned my food for my diet first and foremost. I bought my daughter the frozen pizza she liked and all the other stuff. Fed her that..and I never sat at the table. She didn't notice a thing.. she had the food she liked and I stayed on my diet and lost al my weight. She is grown now.. healthy ..happy.. educated and we share healthy recipes all the time as she eats well and works out.
So.. don't throw yourself on your mother sword.. dragging your son into your new lifestyle where both of you don't get what you need . Let him be a kid and eat like one.... and you look out for your eating plan. or you'll never get the weight off.0 -
elisa123gal wrote: »I'll share what I did when my daughter was young and Mac n' cheese and cheeseburgers were her favorites. I mentally separated myself from eating the same things as her and my husband. If I tried to be "let's all eat together as. family and I am the martyr who suffers.. "
I put myself first. I planned my food for my diet first and foremost. I bought my daughter the frozen pizza she liked and all the other stuff. Fed her that..and I never sat at the table. She didn't notice a thing.. she had the food she liked and I stayed on my diet and lost al my weight. She is grown now.. healthy ..happy.. educated and we share healthy recipes all the time as she eats well and works out.
So.. don't throw yourself on your mother sword.. dragging your son into your new lifestyle where both of you don't get what you need . Let him be a kid and eat like one.... and you look out for your eating plan. or you'll never get the weight off.
This is what I do too. Single mom with 2 teenage boys. There are times when I prepare a meal and I just enter the recipe into MFP and eat my portion accordingly. I also put out the raw veggies that they will eat, or a salad, that they can have if they want. Believe it or not, I made ribs for the super bowl, and ate, and stayed well with in my calories.2 -
So, since you have limited income and unable to offer monetary incentives, maybe you can offer your son incentives such as expanded privileges or freedoms he can earn as he succeeds at eating healthier even if only starting out small. You could try small things, like, have him eat apples or strawberries rather than cookies or pies, substituting brown rice for white or wheat bread for white bread. Just doing this for two meals per week can have great benefits for him. See if he's willing to try this....and maybe he can suggest the fruits he may be more willing to eat since you say he's not a fan of fruit. Give this a try. Encourage your teenager to try to eat healthier too. Those will be good habits that will help him as he gets older. As you know, diet-related health problems increase as we get older. It could prove to be a great incentive and motivation for both of you. I know of several families who employ this method and it does help with encouraging kids to eat healthier. Good luck. Hope this helps.1
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I know this is a very serious post... But to lighten up the day just a smidge....
When my one and only teenage son was at home, he ate everything. Didn't think about leaving anything for anyone else. Example: I made a chicken, rice, broccoli casserole, went back into my office to work. Came out about hour or so later and the whole dang thing was gone. Yep a serving for 6 gone with one individual in one sitting. He is a big guy, football in high school, and apparently very ravenous. (I was in a healthy weight range then... Not so much now)
Now for all seriousness, I would try either eat smaller portions of whatever you are making for him, or consider yourself very important too, and take care of your individual needs. Soda and juice can be cut back to special treats or occasions. Your health is way more important then the sugary good stuff.1 -
I don't see anything wrong with white rice, potatoes, ground beef, dairy... I have a teenaged son (along with a husband and 2 younger boys) and basically he is on his own for breakfast, lunch and snacks, and I cook dinner at night for everyone. I just buy the things he likes to eat for lunch/breakfast/snacks etc. and they don't interfere with me and my diet at all. Weight loss is about calories and portion sizes. I wouldn't worry about catering your dinners to his taste vs. yours. Just make one meal and he can eat it or not. He can eat more of the starchy stuff like pasta/bread/rice/ etc since he probably needs a lot more calories than you. If you are limited on money, I would just stop buying soda and juice since they don't provide much nutritional benefit.2
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