Anyone else going through a breakup?

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SuperCork
SuperCork Posts: 192 Member
in Motivation and Support
I won't bore anyone with the details of my breakup other than to say it's been just over a month and a half, I ended it because even though I still loved (love?) him more than I have anyone in my life, the situation was really getting toxic and I was being dragged down. I know I made the absolute right decision, though perhaps the way I executed it could've been better. Anyway, I lost about 40lbs two years ago and kept it off, and immediately after the breakup I had to force myself to eat and lost a few lbs...then I was so angry that I knew exercising would help get some of that anger out, and once my appetite returned I decided to focus on dieting and health as something to give me a feeling of control and accomplisment while everything else was falling apart.

Anyway, my dieting is going great, but emotionally I'm...I've been better. Perhaps knowing someone else out there can currently relate would be helpful? I don't know...

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,100 Member
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    It's been a while since I was in a relationship, but I can relate (most of us can).

    Good for you for turning your sadness into positive action!! The exercise and good nutrition really does help fight depression.

    Welcome and good luck:flowerforyou:
  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
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    I'm with CM -- been a long time since I've been in a relationship but when it's bad it's good to get out... and exercise and healthy eating will help you to regain yourself and your self esteem if any problems started to arise there.

    Good luck to you!
  • SuperCork
    SuperCork Posts: 192 Member
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    It's challenging, yes, but those exercise endorphins are awesome!
  • TheShelterCat
    TheShelterCat Posts: 160
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    Not currently going through a breakup but know how hard it is. Like others have said, it's great that your turning it into something positive by dieting/exercising which will help for sure. It always gets better/easier with time. :)
  • sarahazelnut99
    sarahazelnut99 Posts: 307 Member
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    my first real heartbreak was over a year and 1/2 ago...and im still not over it totally. im just so furious at the whole situation and how much pain its caused me and the people around me. he is the slightest key that opened up the door to all the many reasons why i hate men.

    dont rely on words like "control" ...if you say things in a more positive way youll believe them. saying that your dieting in order to have some control in your life is very similar to how girls with eating disorders feel.

    when i went through my first break i couldnt eat either and then a few months later i gained SOOO much weight because i had put my body into starvation mode...be very careful, and im glad your trying the best you can because i know how hard it is!
  • SuperCork
    SuperCork Posts: 192 Member
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    "control" may have been a poor word choice, because I definitely don't have an eating disorder--it's more like concentrating on this positive aspect of my life helps me to feel some stability right now while I'm generally feeling adrift in life. This feeling will go away (been through breakups before--it always goes away eventually), it's just difficult to not pity myself when I'm feeling extra bad one day.
    I definitely understand your continued fury: like you (and unlike any other breakup and heartbreak that Ive had) many people around me have been somewhat involved because we share family through marriage (note to self: in future, never *kitten* where you eat! haha); in my clearer moments, however, I have to force myself to acknowledge my role in how he's hurt me and others because ultimately, no one can do wrong by us unless we let them. Sure, the FIRST time they do it--that's their fault, but after that, we have to take responsibility and I find that taking that responsibility ultimately helps me grow as a person and heal and not feel victimized as much. I am definitely angry at him, but I'm mostly angry at myself for not being strong enough sooner when all those RED FLAGS were popping up; however, such is life, we all do it, and I know that soon enough I will genuinely believe that it's just great that I got out before we possibly got married, had kids, I completely ended up in the poorhouse or jail, etc. and that your capacity to feel pain is directly related to your capacity to also feel immense joy!

    Thanks for everyone's replies!

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