Candy corn shamed :/

Dreamingirl80
Dreamingirl80 Posts: 6
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
I've lost almost 200 lbs from my heaviest weight. I was over the 200 lbs lost mark when I got pregnant, I put on about 30 lbs and now have lost 15 lbs since joining MFP. Total weight loss right now is 192 lbs. I am feeling good. I still have a long way to go, but every lb gone feels so good. My biggest nagging factor right now is a certain person in my life that keeps wanting to put me down. I made a comment yesterday that I indulged in candy corn (by indulging, I ate 19 pieces through the day for my one serving). This person is on a journey to lose weight as well. So I am blasted with how I can't be eating that crap and that they have more self control than I do because they dont eat anything but fruits, veggies and chicken. My response is always graceful and tactful being that this person is family, but when do you just lose it? I am working out everyday, eating right and losing weight. I feel like apparently I have done something right to lose the weight I have. My thought on life and eating change is that all things should be in moderation. I don't think life would be very much fun if I could never have a little slice of birthday cake or a serving of candy corn. In my journey on losing weight, I have seen that if I completely say this this and this is NO longer than those are the things I tend to crave. I feel like I am on a diet doing that. I'm not dieting, I am changing my lifestyle. 19 pieces of candy corn? Okay, 15 extra minutes on the treadmill. Will I eat a whole bag like I would have before? No way. So I guess I have 2 questions... 1: How do you handle those people who tell YOU how you need to eat/exercise? 2: Have ya'll sworn off treats all together or do you indulge in moderation and make up for it elsewhere?

Replies

  • mccgivens
    mccgivens Posts: 91
    Moderation of everything for me. If I cut that stuff out completely, then I will fail at the lifestyle change. I know me! I'm glad it's not my family because I have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut when I get "advice". How you deal with it, is completely your choice. I just don't tolerate people who try to make me feel like crap. Don't give this person permission to make you feel that way. {Smiles}...:flowerforyou:
  • haeden
    haeden Posts: 183 Member
    Hell no :) I think everyone will admit they have totally indulged in crap they havent. Im a realist and i will admit that i fall off the !wagon, and ya know what?it happens! If people cant be supportive and say "hey,it happens.get back on the wagon. Your doing so great" and they make u feel like crap then maybe they arent good enough support. If your honest with yourself then maybe they need to take it a little easy! After all, you are only human! :)
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,736 Member
    FIRST_ What a wonderful job you have done! Congratulations on that accomplishment. Second, welcome to MFP. I hope you find the right kind of support for your journey. Third,I always try to encourage people in their efforts! Everyone's journey is different. Lastly, I believe in moderation. So I might lose it easier/faster if I didn't indulge, but would I then keep it off? Probably not. I would overindulge. I am the person that if the candies are in house I can pretty much ignore them, but if they disappear I want them and I want them now. LOL! I think you are making great choices. Look how far you have come. It is your journey. Enjoy that candy corn on occasion (everyone knows the best time of year for that is Halloween). Moderation is the key to life. Congrats!
  • perceptualobfuscator
    perceptualobfuscator Posts: 159 Member
    Personally, I always think the no-junk-food-ever people are crazy. In my opinion, part of eating healthy is learning how to work treats into a healthy lifestyle. If you can't eat one piece of chocolate without giving up on your diet completely, how are you going to handle the real world, when you've lost all the weight and the diet is done? If you don't learn to manage it now, how are you going to manage it later? Realistically, we're not going to go the rest of our lives without eating birthday cake, or a popsicle, or a homemade cookie. If you never learn to cope with that, you'll end up gaining all the weight back, and then some.

    As well, your junk food is not my junk food. I struggle to get enough fat in my diet. So if I occasionally eat a high-fat item, it's a positive step, not an indulgence. I'm also nearly always under my sodium, so one high sodium item is not a big deal for me. For someone else, it's a huge deal. That's one more reason not to judge everyone's diet the same as our own.

    To answer your questions, I handle these people by saying I believe in moderation, and that if I can't learn how to eat treats in a healthy way now, than I sure won't figure out how later.

    Good luck!!
  • mampm1
    mampm1 Posts: 88
    Show them this website and show them this thread...I think that should be enough. Congratulations to you on your success!
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    If I'm going to lose weight and keep it off for life I have to learn how to manage the goodies without cutting them out entirely. I had a fantastic donut today as a matter of fact! It was yummy but the rest of my day has been moderate enough that I'm still far under my calories and not deprived at all. I am over on carbs but I expected that when I ordered the donut. Come on now, it was a tart cherry filled, almond kissed glazed donut from Frost and it was worth it! ;) People like that, well I just tend to quit talking to them about this type of thing. I don't need anyone's permission or validation for what I'm doing.
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
    1: How do you handle those people who tell YOU how you need to eat/exercise? 2: Have ya'll sworn off treats all together or do you indulge in moderation and make up for it elsewhere?

    First off - congratulations on your success to date!

    As for your questions, I thank the person for sharing their thoughts on eating and exercise and leave it at that. Unless they have a good or new idea, I let it pass. There is not a particular food that I have sworn off, yet, my view/understanding of foods, eating and exercising has changed so I tend to default to better choices. Early on in my weight loss journey, I decided that I was not going to feel guilty for eating or let a food that I ate, or a day that I didn't exercise stop me from moving forward. For me there isn't an "end" to this, just a new way of living, which also has helped a lot.
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
    I, like you, believe in indulging in moderation. I try to keep most of my "treats" on the healthy side (apples w/caramel dip, almonds, etc) but I also eat small portions of chocolate covered raisins, swedish fish, etc. I wonder how long your friend has been eating like that and how much she has lost? Can anyone really go the rest of their lives never eating ANY thing that isn't "healthy"? I don't think so. Simply say, "Thanks for the tip. How about you do it your way and I do it mine...so far, my way has been working for me--I *have* lost over 200 lbs. How much have you lost again?" That should shut her up. Or, like another poster said, let her read this thread. :laugh:
  • CrystalFlury
    CrystalFlury Posts: 400 Member
    Funny, I just made a post similar to this. I understand how you feel. I have a major sweet tooth once it's activated. I know it sounds funny but really, I have issues with sweets. I'm trying really hard right now to avoid sweets because I don't have the control to STOP. I just ate a serving of candy corn I was given by my boyfriend's grandmother last night. She dumped two bags of it on us before leaving her house. I didn't want it because I don't care for the temptation to be in our place. I know if I have sweets available to me I'll go crazy and eat them all or eat them in "moderation" the rest of the week. :frown:
  • mkaluzny
    mkaluzny Posts: 508 Member
    Don't ever feel ashamed of your diet. It is one day's worth in a lifetime of eating. Today, I had three pieces of pie. It was our fall festival and I had to eat them (not really, I wanted to). I am sure some of my MFP friends will comment, but that's okay. I am still losing weight, I don't eat like that every day, and I also exercised.

    Some people want to be supportive, but are unsure how to be constructive. That could be our goal to teach them. When I get negative comments that really eat at me, I do one of two things: ignore them or answer them. My answers usually include an acknowledgement of what was said and a paraphrasing of how it could have been said in a more constructive manner.

    For example - I had a comment once on the fact that two glasses of wine does contain a lot of calories and also would possibly put my in a drunken state. I answered back, " Thank you for your concern on my diet. I think what you wanted to say was that I should be aware that wine does contain a significant amount of calories and that it has side effects. These are the very reasons, I don't drink it too often."
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    What you eat is your business and yours ONLY. Whoever this is apparently has control issues, and therefore I would never share again anything like that. If they pry, I'd tell them it's not something I care to discuss and then I'd change the subject.

    This is what I would call a toxic person, something you don't need. What works for you is what works for you, and she has no business trying to steer you otherwise. You're an adult and can handle yourself.

    MAN that would make me angry.
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