IS IT JUST ME?

Jessicaruby
Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
edited October 2 in Health and Weight Loss
first off i do not want to be rude or offend anyone, but to me the purpose of this website is to help educae, learn and grow. It helps you to understand your body and track what your body needs. It is a guidline that I personally use to get into shape and to create a healthier lifestyle. I do not consider this a diet but a new way of living that i can sustain for a lifetime that keeps me energized, healthy and helps me lose these last few pounds. now with that said i see alot of people who consume an alarmingly low number of calories on a daily basis. I am usually always under my calories but i always net at least 1200 calories. I see people who are only eating 500-800 calories a day. Now i know there are days when you are not hungry, your sad, your sick, or whatever but i see people who are this low on a daily basis. THEN, when they complete their food diary for the day, it comes up saying so and so was under their calories for the day and then people congratulate them!!! i just do not get it. Why would you congratulate someone for being so under their calories it is not only unhealthy but could be dentramental to that persons health. Am i the only one that thinks this is crazy??!!!

Replies

  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
    No, I don't really understand why stuff like that is encouraged by other users either. So it's not just you.
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    I think a lot of people just see the headline on the news feed and don't go look at the diary.... they just see "under" and figure that's a good thing. Definitely not always the case.

    I also cringe when I see people get in "under" their calorie goal, but skipped breakfast, ate Donut Gems for lunch and had fast food for dinner. . . and then get a "YAY!!!!"
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
    Totally agree - I will never comment on anyone's diary that is not open, anyone consistently netting below 1200, or people clearly eating a bunch of junk food - even if they are under their cals.....

    On my good friends that I know their eating habits I might joke when the occasional bad day slips in - but on the others I refuse to pat them on the back for poor unhealthy choices!!
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
    unless they dont look at their diary and just see that they were below their food intake goal
  • JDNOX
    JDNOX Posts: 619
    No I don't get it either. My goal is not really weight loss. If weight loss comes great but my goal is being healthy making sure i am not eating under or over my calories and holding myself accountable for what i eat and how often i work out. So you are not the only one that does not get that part.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    First I go and check the diary to see how under they were before I say congrats. If they are way under I send them a personal message about their calorie intake.
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
    I keep my diary closed because I don't want to be judged by people who don't know my circumstances or situation. My calorie count is lower than the average by mandate of my doctor and nutritionist. 500 does seem low but until you've walked a day I wouldn't judge it. We're here to support not make assumptions.
  • trixylewis
    trixylewis Posts: 197 Member
    i always look at someones diary before i comment, i cant in good conscience say something positive if the only positive thing i see is "under calories"
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
    Everyone is on a different journey. Not only do you have to look at their diary but be familiar with their profile. My friends know I have had gastric bypass and I can only eat 900-1200 calories a day. Many people here have had weigh loss surgery or under a medical weight loss program from their doctor and/or nutritionist. I have a friend that has an eating disorder. She used to only eat 200-400 calories a day. Now she is up to a 1000 working her way to 1200.

    It is really not my place to judge someone else journey, diary or eating habits on here unless they have asked for my help. Then I help them with personal message and NEVER publicly humiliate someone. I say way to go for the act of logging.
  • Milly406
    Milly406 Posts: 39
    I keep my diary closed because I don't want to be judged by people who don't know my circumstances or situation. My calorie count is lower than the average by mandate of my doctor and nutritionist. 500 does seem low but until you've walked a day I wouldn't judge it. We're here to support not make assumptions.


    I agree with this. For me, and I'm sure some other people, it may seem like an accomplishment to be under their daily calorie intake. I have had a problem in the past with binge eating, so when I can restrict calories as opposed to say, cosuming 3x my calorie intake, that is an accomplishment for me. Every person has different goals. I understand where you are coming from though when you see such a low intake number day after day.
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
    I keep my diary closed because I don't want to be judged by people who don't know my circumstances or situation. My calorie count is lower than the average by mandate of my doctor and nutritionist. 500 does seem low but until you've walked a day I wouldn't judge it. We're here to support not make assumptions.


    I agree with this. For me, and I'm sure some other people, it may seem like an accomplishment to be under their daily calorie intake. I have had a problem in the past with binge eating, so when I can restrict calories as opposed to say, cosuming 3x my calorie intake, that is an accomplishment for me. Every person has different goals. I understand where you are coming from though when you see such a low intake number day after day.

    I can see how you'd celebrate those days. It's truly great that you are conquering your struggles.

    However, my intake is low day after day. Until a person understands that I'm much shorter than the average person and dealing with both PCOS and early onset menopause (started at 27) I'd be judged for it. Since I'm not going to explain this to every person who looks at my diary I keep it closed. I'll pass on the judgments.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Honestly? I do not comment on other people's food diaries. Nor do I even look at them unless they specifically ask for my help/advice/recommendations.

    I also keep my food diary locked with a key because I don't need someone telling me what I should or shouldn't be eating. I eat a lot of calories compared to a lot of people on here. But, it works for me - THAT is why I do it. Honestly, the times I've opened my diary and allowed access to it - SOMEONE ALWAYS comments on something I've eaten. I got tired of it, so I closed it.
  • Getting_Fit_4_Life
    Getting_Fit_4_Life Posts: 401 Member
    I think people need to do what works for them. I don't feel that it's my place to give others unwarranted advice about what they eat. I do look at my friends diary before I comment and if I am not in agreement with how low or how high there calories, fat, carb etc is then I don't comment. Eating practices is a very personal choice for everyone. While I might not agree with eating donuts, cookies or pizza for breakfast or lunch I might give a positive comment on the diary if I know the person has been trying very hard and is trying to get back on track. We all have our good days and bad days and nonetheless, deserve support.

    Edited to add: If I am concern about my friends eating too few calories or what they might be eating then I will send them a message of care and concern, but not to lecture them. You can never be too sure of people's medical issues unless you get to know them.
  • inlander
    inlander Posts: 339 Member
    A lot of people with severely disordered eating use this website. They're on other websites, too. Speaking from the point of view of someone that used to be anorexic, people that have disordered eating (and want to continue eating that way) look for support just like you or I look for support in trying to eat healthy.

    So, yeah. It sucks, but it's just something that sites like this draw, unfortunately.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    You're not crazy. The most I tend to comment on a food diary is "good job logging" or something like that. I will not congratulate someone just because the update says they came in under calories. I don't have my diary public, and if people don't want to comment on it either, I'm good with that. I would rather comment positively on healthy exercise that is much more obvious than a completed diary update. It seems like a lot of people want to give support just because it's nice or something. I have seen sooo many posts even in the forum about people eating under 1000 calories or under 1200 net calories consistently and they're told to just listen to their body and if they're not hungry, don't eat. I would never tell someone who consistently eats under 1000 calories to just listen to their body and only eat if they're hungry - most likely their body has adjusted and they are not feeling hungry (and I went through this - eating under 1000 calories consistently without being hungry, my body wasn't telling me what it needed, I was disconnected from it). If people have exceptions due to medical issues or what have you, then they should probably explain that to their friends, or keep their diary private. But that's the thing - these are exceptions - not the norm, so the vast majority of people should not be eating so little. I see no reason why people who consistently eat so little should be supported in that unless they have a medical reason to do so.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think a lot of people just see the headline on the news feed and don't go look at the diary.... they just see "under" and figure that's a good thing. Definitely not always the case.

    I also cringe when I see people get in "under" their calorie goal, but skipped breakfast, ate Donut Gems for lunch and had fast food for dinner. . . and then get a "YAY!!!!"

    I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. . As I found some diaries to be way under. . . or not containing very nutritious foods. . So I feel in order to be truly supportive of my friends. . now I always open the diary and look before commenting. . because otherwise I am not doing me or them any good. . Now if they had a special reason to be that low as in directed by a doctor or such. . then you just support them where they are at. . . Just my thoughts.
  • onwalker
    onwalker Posts: 8
    I find on days where on the computer it says I'm "under" are actually the days where its a friday and I have just been surrounded by delicious food and drink all day... and don't really want to spend my evening punishing myself seeing if i'm 500- 1500 calories over for the day... So the diary is personal... I know myself I've eaten to much... but from someone looking in... they might think wow you only ate an apple and a couple of pots of yoghurt ... so diarys may be misleading.

    Not sure if anyone else does that? just figure that a bad day was a bad day and skip the diary entry... rather than add up everything that went wrong and spend the next day feeling guilty about it?
  • lovetosurf
    lovetosurf Posts: 1 Member
    I volunteer in a support group for people with eating disorders--most are restrictors but some restrict and binge. It is a very tough road to recovery and some unfortunately are looking for any reason for why their disordered actions make sense. There have been so many group sessions where people talk about their pride when others comment on what control they have over their eating. It starts a whole cycle.

    My basic take is that I don't comment on weight or food unless I feel I know someone and that they are in danger. I can tell who is eating enough and who is not but how they talk and appear in group. But that is after 10 years of doing this.

    Follow your heart. If you are concerned about someone--ask but don't assume. If you just want to judge or be harsh--probably best to keep it to yourself.

    Every day of my intake this week has been significantly under. I have also had a stomach bug and feel proud that I got as much food in as I did. But it also gives me a little thrill to see the weight drop even when I know that it is likely temporary when my health kicks into gear again.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    Many people are as other posters said, simply just responding to the fact that they are under their goal. My daily goal is 1620, but if I eat 1400, people may congratulate me. If I eat only 600 calories, it will still display that same message (the under calorie goal). Its just people trying to be supportive is all.

    Also remember the 1200 is just a rule of thumb. My girl, if she wants go get any weight loss at all, can only eat 1200 calories according to the calculator, which means her maximum amount, is the bare minimum.
  • mags2504
    mags2504 Posts: 275
    bump
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
    it's not just you. I'm struggling to put into words what I want to say on the topic, so I'll leave it there for now ....
  • jellybaby84
    jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
    People of one mindset do not own this site.

    Plenty of people eat massively under and may well have an eating disorder. There are probably people who eat massively over and they may well also have an eating disorder. People with these problems are likely to congratulate other people on the same behaviours because, when you're in that twisted, horrible place, it DOES seem like a good thing. Competitiveness is huge in eating disorders - you know you're not thinking rationally but you think, say and believe this destructive stuff anyway.

    Regardless, none of it has to be your business unless you make it so. Live and let live. Don't have us as your friends or don't comment. Personally, I can't think of anything more boring than reading a list of what someone else ate today anyway!
  • lolainlondon
    lolainlondon Posts: 160 Member
    And another one to file under "stuff which does not affect me"...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    first off i do not want to be rude or offend anyone, but to me the purpose of this website is to help educae, learn and grow. It helps you to understand your body and track what your body needs. It is a guidline that I personally use to get into shape and to create a healthier lifestyle. I do not consider this a diet but a new way of living that i can sustain for a lifetime that keeps me energized, healthy and helps me lose these last few pounds. now with that said i see alot of people who consume an alarmingly low number of calories on a daily basis. I am usually always under my calories but i always net at least 1200 calories. I see people who are only eating 500-800 calories a day. Now i know there are days when you are not hungry, your sad, your sick, or whatever but i see people who are this low on a daily basis. THEN, when they complete their food diary for the day, it comes up saying so and so was under their calories for the day and then people congratulate them!!! i just do not get it. Why would you congratulate someone for being so under their calories it is not only unhealthy but could be dentramental to that persons health. Am i the only one that thinks this is crazy??!!!

    The majority of people who comment on diaries like that dont look at the diary first - or i hope they dont anyway!

    I have seen that before, and when i looked at the diary the person had had a McDonalds Muffin for breakfast and pizza for tea, and had loads of wtgs cos it was under her calorie goal.
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    That's why I tend not to comment on the diaries I can't see. Just because it says they are under doesn't necessarily mean they have been 'healthy'.
    I like to read diaries, not studiously, but it helps me come up with ideas or I come across food stuffs I've not considered before. If you are a friend to someone, be a friend. In the real world, if a friend of mine was eating too low I would subtly raise it. that's what friends are for, right?
  • lynheff
    lynheff Posts: 393 Member
    Good point and I agree. I am guilty of congratulating someone who is under because I know how hard it is to stick to a calorie goal and I don't usually look at their diaries. When I am under it is usually because I don't add back my exercise calories. I am not really sure how many calories I burned because I think the machines are just using averages. So if I add back those calories I am in danger of exceeding my allotment. I am irritated by all the magazines that start the " have a hot body by summer" or "wear a bikini in 6 weeks"articles that start hitting the newstands in Jan. Do they really think we are all that shallow?? The point of all of this hard work--as you correctly pointed out--is good health. Slainte! ( good health) to us all.
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    i am not here to pass judgments. i just feel bad for some of these people and when people says congrats or way to go to unhealthy eating they may think that it is a good thing and continue this cycle. I have battled eating disorders and i try to eat most of my calories and eat healthy. i know there are some exceptions to eating so low, but i look at peoples diaries before i comment. i also like to look at others diaries to get ideas for foods and see how well i am eating compared to others as i have hit a plataue so i look at others who are losing weight.
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Agreed. Unless I can see the person's diary, I do not congratulate someone for being under. (It is possible that the person was under but close enough to their calorie goals that being under is not a big deal...) It's a fundamental problem though with this website. When someone closes their diary for the day and the website automatically announces if the person was under goal, then it makes it sound like a good thing. I don't think this site should announce whether or not someone was under goal since it can promote unhealthy eating habits...but that's just me, as someone who suffers from disordered eating tendencies.

    I don't give unsolicited advice on here...but I do find it troublesome that there are some people on this site (at least one with whom I am "friends") who quite obviously have an eating disorder. They post about their disordered eating and people actually congratulate them. I struggle with what to do about that...but for now I try not to engage...
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