How do I get started, again?

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VeeBethTris
VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi. I am a 59 year old grandma of two grandsons who are 3/1, but soon to be 4/18 months. In December, I got custody of them due to neglect and drug abuse from the parents, my daughter and her husband. I moved from one city to another, 65 miles away, to my ex husband's house, and Grandpa. I work full time, and it was going to take awhile to get them into daycare. Grandpa is retired and he has a house 3 miles from where my daughter lives, and we had to stay in that area until we got permanent custody. Three days after getting the kids, I was hospitalized with cardiac issues that I'd never been aware of. Thank God it was only electrical issues, and I pray were stabilized when I had a cardiac ablation in February. I have the same job so my commute is 75 minutes each way. Having said all that, I'm exhausted and have gained 25 pounds. Did I fail to mention I got into a car wreck 12/28 and was on steroids for a while. I get up at 3:45 am 4 days a week, and come home to my babies. Anyway, I think I am rambling. My life is insane, LOL, at my age raising toddlers and living with my ex husband, who is 69. How do I course correct and get back on track to a healthy living style that these babies deserve?

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  • fatty2begone
    fatty2begone Posts: 249 Member
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    I just wanted to comment that You do have a lot on your plate.

    Firstly, I couldn't have more admiration of you for taking the two little ones in your life to ensure they are safe and hopefully have a happy and as normal life as possible. I couldn't imagine living with my x, but this is too a sacrifice for him (I assume). I hope you both have a "good" as good as can be relationship and this will not be too stressful for the both of you and added stress to the children having many changes at this time. It appears that the both of you have the best interest of the children. <3

    You need to be aware of your health and/or issues and take necessary precautions to keep you safe and healthy. I hope you have a doctor following and advising you. Counseling available if/when as needed.

    I dont know if you have any other near family members or close friends that might be able to offer you some assistance. Even if for a couple hours to allow you some Rest & Relaxation might be of great relief.

    Unless the weight loss is ordered by the doctor for medical reasons, I would think, try to get settled into the new responsibilities of the children, your new environment, and the added stress situated 1st. Sometime weight loss can add additional stress. You can always make small changes in your diet first, so it doesnt feel like an effort. 1 less soda a day, less sugar or cream in your coffee are just a couple examples. Add more changes when you are ready.

    I am sure there are posters who will provide much better advice. I really just wanted to let you know how much I admire you and send love and hugs to everyone involved.
  • VeeBethTris
    VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
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    Hi. My ex and I get along pretty well. We haven't killed each other yet. I started seeing a counselor a month ago. So did my older grandson. Poor guy has had some trauma. I am being monitored by doctors. I like your idea of trying things one thing at a time. One less soda, etc. Thank you for the love and hugs <3
  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Given that you recently were hospitalized for cardiac issues, definitely talk to your doctor for diet restrictions. The American Heart Association recommends the DASH diet and has details about it on their website. My sister had good luck lowering her blood pressure on DASH after her doctor recommended it. I personally like the overall guidelines for DASH and try to incorporate them into my meal planning.

    With as much as you have going on, I’m sure it’s very stressful for you. I have very young grandchildren who I look after often due to my daughter and her husband are both first responders. I also still have teenagers of my own at home to tend to. I find that using my weekends for meal planning is extremely helpful. I like the YouTube channel Planning Us Healthy for meal plan ideas, among others. Having my meals ready to pack in my lunchbox for the office is really helpful. Having family sized meals that I can put in the crockpot each day is Alison a timesaver. I also find that ordering my groceries online for curbside pickup saves me a lot of time shopping that I can put toward other efforts.

    Definitely start small. You are doing big things looking after these kids. I offer sincere prayers for you all.
  • metaphysicalstudio
    metaphysicalstudio Posts: 293 Member
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    Hugs to you. Give yourself some space for this situation; it's heavy. The situation is heavy and that is reflected in your body, and that makes sense, it's is ok for now as you adjust to this difficult change. It's a lot to take on, and your energy is being called to things outside of yourself right now. That's not easy when that's the case. You can continue to look for ways to reintegrate your wellness into this new life as you move through it. It just looks different because the whole landscape has changed. Change may be more challenging to embrace after not being the responsible parent for so long. Moving back, suddenly, into parenthood is huge. You're feeling that. Let it be felt. Your life will stabilize, eventually, and space will be made to explore what wellness is now, in this articulation of who you are. Take care of yourself so you can take care of everything on your plate.

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