"The Last 10 Pounds"

jennifer34567 · April 2022

I should start out by admitting that my "last" 10 pounds is actually the only 10 lbs I've ever needed to lose. I've been about 10-15 lbs over my ideal weight for the last 10 years or so, since losing most of my friends in order to start/finish my PhD, unsuccessfully trying to find a partner to settle down and have kids with, and ultimately moving to a tiny rural town at the height of COVID 2 years ago (hello isolation and emotional eating). I've mostly been active my whole life, and the most I've ever weighed is around 148 (I'm 5'4"), but now I've just turned 44 and my body has new aches and pains that I don't know what to do with. I am worried that the last half of my life is going to be a big struggle if I can't get used to watching what I eat and exercising regularly.

So many times I've felt motivated and ready to try again, logging food here and there for a few weeks, but I always give up. I tell myself "well, you're not fat so who cares?" or "I want to be body-positive". I have chronic recurrent depression and pelvic floor hypertension, as well as chronic back/hip pain -- I think that being stronger and eating less sugar would help all of these. But I have a very stressful job at a struggling university, few friends (none supportive in this endeavor to build strength and fitness, but my coworker made amazing lemon bars for my birthday), and no family.

I've heard that the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose, but I have been on this rollercoaster for 10 years and I want to get off of it. This morning I weighed 139. My goal weight is 130, but I would settle for just feeling better: being stronger, with less back pain, clearer thinking and memory, and not eating ice cream sandwiches for dinner.

Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have some ideas for how to stay motivated? Thanks for reading.

Fuzzipeg · April 2022

I'm sorry you have not had a reply before this. I apologise for not knowing what Pelvic floor Hypertension is and needing to look it up, then life impacted, then I needed to find your post.

My understanding is only limited to what I have read. It seems you back and hip pain are both associated issues, caused by the tension. I fear like many you are not getting the best support from you medical practitioners. I wonder if you can find another doctor somehow, I'd like to say male doctors are bad but I've been let down by women too. (I say this as someone who lives in the UK and has the NHS which has a policy of allocating doctors within a practice which we approach though we can visit other doctors who are available at a time we need them.)

Congratulations on being prepared to move areas for work, and also never being significantly over weight too. I do have familial attachments but when employment was possible, I'm in my 70's now, I was never brave enough to move as you have. Also with various health issues of my own being 10 or 20lb from goal through life would be wonderful.

I expect covid cases are still high round you, they are here, its makes it all to easy not to venture far from home you may have the additional complication of working from home, everything in a new area too. You are brave. If you are able please try to extend your sphere of contacts beyond where you are now, I'm sure with more contacts you will begin to feel easier in your self.

My on line search into your primary condition showed me several sites which could possibly help you learn to relax those muscles, possibly there could be preparations which could help you too. There are medical sites which can also help. Finding someone who has specific knowledge of your condition and the extended problems and pain you are enduring should be a turning point for you. I'm sure you an identify what is good information and what is not.

I can't know the cause of you being depressed, I know from my living with the constant pain of osteoarthritis pain is draining. You could well be onto something considering consuming less added sugar. When you live with constant pain sugary foods can seem to offer comfort but they are also highly inflammatory. I know if I have, too much for "me sugar", my knees really hurt, (even though I have things controlled now). Excess sugar for "you" drains your bodies abilities to eliminate, neutralise it and ease inflammation, if you follow. Trying an anti-inflammatory diet might be something to consider, I'd suggest after seeking someone with specific knowledge of your condition.

My final thought. I'm about 5'4" too, my goal weight is 140lb. Sometimes we, I can obsess on something we should be able to control, which you have done valiantly, when there is something we simply have theoretically no hope of alleviating.

Take great care, do what is right for you, only you matter here. All the very best.

RaquelFit2 · April 2022

Depression and anxiety are common now. Most ppl I speak to seem to have some degree of trouble in this area. I've definitely have my bouts with both and it's hard to motivate yourself to exercise when your mind is in a bad place.

I actually have eight pounds I want to lose and it's very important to me. I want to wear my bikini on the beach and feel proud of my body again.

If you want we can make this a game. For example, we can post "I didn't feel like exercising today but still I did (insert exercise.)"

It might help.

avatiach · April 2022

You might ask for a referral (if you need one) to physical therapy for pelvic floor therapy and help with other complaints PT works for.

Sinisterbarbie1 · April 2022

Fuzzipeg has provided some excellent and thoughtful advice, to which I would only add or amplify that sometimes we get obsessed with numbers on a scale when what would be most helpful for our situation is another measure of success.

You have identified various challenges like eliminating pain in your hips, being more active etc. which may be worth pursuing independent of a specific weight loss target tied to a number. By visiting a physical therapist to find the right exercises to help with the hip pain, perhaps you will alleviate that problem and be able to build on the progress to expand from those exercises to additional things you enjoy. This may come with incidental weight loss benefits, or it may result in better muscle definition and similar shifts in weight distribution which have the same (or maybe even a better) effect.

Likewise Fuzzipeg suggested seeking out any diet related issues that may be causing inflammation. To aid in this you might try logging your eating with or without pursuing a particular weight target for a while and paying attention to whether anything you consume makes your symptoms worse, and then seek to eliminate it. Fuzzipeg suggested sugar as a possible culprit, and eliminating or cutting back on sugar would likely also have the incidental benefit of cutting back on overall calories consumed.

Finally, the simple act of accurately measuring and then logging what you eat before you eat it has had a surprisingly huge effect on weight loss for many here, me included. I had lost a lot of weight that I had gained due to multiple health issues prior to starting to use this app, and began to use it for my last 10 lbs and maintenance because I knew that would be the hardest part, and the likeliest area of backslliding. Even knowing this, I have been surprised that just by maintaining an accurate log the last 11 pounds have come off as smoothly if not more than the first 40 which I did not log. It is largely because I hold myself more accountable and I actually realize (and eliminate) all the little things I would otherwise unconsciously nibble or taste during the day that can add up to a couple hundred calories , and instead I have an actual balanced meal for the right amount of calories that keeps me from mindlessly eating more than I intend. I also make smarter choices about what I eat generally as a result of having to log it and seeing what it “costs” me in calories and macros. There are usually better options I like equally well that are healthier and less caloric I can (and then do) choose when I make myself think about it.

I didn’t intend for this to come out so long, but here is another thing about the app … if you use the boards and share your experiences with other, writing down what works for you and what your challenges have been can be helpful to you as well in crystallizing and reinforcing good approaches to how to pursue a healthy approach to your nutrition/exercise etc.

Bottom line - try flipping the script - focus on achieving the effects you want to see from reaching the number you have identified on the scale, because if you achieve everything you want to achieve as an effect, you may find that you’ve incidentally achieved the number on the scale as well (or that it just doesn’t matter).

AnnPT77 · May 2022

For the specific issues you mention, I have to say that increasing movement was a much more effective intervention for me than weight loss . . . even though I was very much more overweight than you are now, when I started being more active. I can't decide - even having done both - which is easier, increasing activity, or losing weight.

I started being more active in my mid-40s after the whole 9 yards of cancer treatment (surgery, chemo, radiation), starting from a point of being very physically depleted as well as obese. It was a gradual thing, over a small number of years, but it made a huge quality of life improvement.

In pretty much every case, getting stronger and fitter reduced chronic aches and pains - they were gradually less severe, less frequent, less impairing of other life activities.

Sure, there were some acute sore muscles and even minor injuries along the way, but nothing long-term or insurmountable (some probably felt more so at the time). Honestly, I feel stronger, more physically capable now - at age 66 - then I did then, 20+ years younger.

The best advice I could offer would be to think of some movement-oriented thing that has always sounded potentially fun to you, but that seems achievable, and give it a try. Give it enough of a try - I'd suggest - to get past the common "newbie blues" phase where something new and a little challenging can seem awkward and maybe at first impossible. (Things that are easy at first tend to get boring fast, IME, and things that may seem daunting on day one often start to seem more achievable after just a few sessions. and stay interesting longer.)

It doesn't need to be some gym-y thing, unless that sounds fun to you. It can be anything involving movement: Walking (birdwatching, window shopping, festivals, flea markets, whatever), playing with kids, dancing, movement-oriented video or VR games, games like pickleball or golf or bowling, yoga, swimming or pool exercises, outdoor things like biking or canoeing or something . . . anything.

The path to fitness is any kind of movement that you enjoy (or at least tolerate) that's a small, manageable bit of a challenge. As you get fitter - and you will - you can just keep going, keep a manageable challenge, by increasing duration, frequency, intensity, or type of activity. If it's something fun, you'll find you want to do that - at least that happened for me.

Sometimes people assume that exercise has to be miserable, intense or punitive to be beneficial. That's 100% myth, IME, IMO. Gradual, manageable progress yields results, while minimizing injury, burnout, and other risks.

Long term, slow and steady, the progress can be quite amazing. You can surprise yourself!

For me, if problems cropped up along the way, I sought out help from experts (coaches, personal trainers, physical therapists, sports-massage therapists, osteopath or chiropractor, etc.). With patience, one can work through those problems, come out with more self-knowledge, more nuanced tactics.

Weight loss was another quality of life improvement - for me, I didn't even seriously attempt that until over a decade after I stared being active, and with way more to lose, at first. Nowadays, I'm 50+ pounds down, and feel great. (I wish I'd lost the weight sooner, honestly.)

Significant improvement is out there for you, too, and you can reach it. Wishing you success!

jennifer34567 · May 2022

These are all amazing — thank you! I didn’t realize that people were leaving comments until I went back to my post to see it. I’m still learning how this works.

I think the advice to focus more on the activities like SisterBarbie and AnnPT said sounds the best to me. The whole scale thing has been so hard because I really can get onboard with the “healthy at any weight” argument and also feel a bit of resentment toward the dieting industry (which has my mom convinced that she can’t eat carrots, certain kinds of tomatoes, or certain kinds of berries — complete bunk!). But there IS some truth out there and I want to eat to feel good, not eat out of spite (which I have certainly done). My focus for May is on nourishment - in the mornings I am planning my food and considering if whatever I am planning to eat is going to nourish me (or just allow me to eat high sugar in the evenings). Luckily the weather is better (snow in May!) and I’ve been able to get out with my dog. I’m tired of the rollercoaster and of thinking so much about food and weight but some days I feel like I know what to eat and how to feel good, so I guess I am learning by thinking about it so much!

I’ve got an appointment for physical therapy for my hip pain. Unfortunately the pelvic issue can’t be dealt with where I am (rural- closest PT for pelvic floor is 90 minutes driving over mountains). I’m trying homecare.

Thanks everyone! I will try to post more for motivation because it’s so nice!

Fuzzipeg · May 2022

Wishing you the very best for your new May regime and PT appointment. I'm sure your four legged friend will be enjoying your walks more too, (my cat does not get as many as she might like, she wonders our garden but away its harness and rucksack). It will be really good to hear how you are getting on.
Take care.

"The Last 10 Pounds"

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