Feeling guilty about weekend away

Hi all. I've recently lost 14 pounds in 12 weeks and I'm feeling good about my journey but most of all I'm feeling healthy mentally and physically inside.
However I have just got back from a weekend away and I've eaten more than I've been used to. I haven't gone mad and ice done loads of walking but I still feel bloated, sluggish and generally unwell. I know this is a plan I want to do for life and understand that I will probably have dips but how do I shake the feeling of guilt? I'm worried now I've put on loads of weight... But at least now it's shown me how I can't go back to that unhealthy place. I just want these pains and bloatedness to go. Does anyone else feel like this after a holiday?

Replies

  • LiveOnceBeHappy
    LiveOnceBeHappy Posts: 420 Member
    I have on a small level. I over ate my calories last night + 2 glasses of wine, which is unusual these days. Didn’t sleep well, needed Advil at 6 am. I’m bouncing back now and feel great. Maybe be active today, get a bunch of steps in, drink water, and get back to your normal.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,717 Member
    It's just food. We need to eat some. It's not sin, even if we eat somewhat extra, or differently. Guilt about it, IMO, is 100% optional. Also, it feels icky.

    Sure, eating poorly (by some definitions) can result in feeling physically worse. I honestly don't understand adding feeling psychologically worse on top of that. What does it improve?

    I recognize that I may sound dismissive, and that's not how I mean it. Part of reaching and sustaining a healthy weight is mental. In that sense, I don't think that making food into something bigger than it is, is going to be a help. Repeating: It's just food, not sin. Penance, expiation, etc., are not necessary for success.

    If you learned that you don't enjoy eating in the way you did for that weekend, that's useful. Learning how you do/don't enjoy eating is part of the process. Figuring out how to accept that learning experience, not beat yourself up over it being "bad", is also part of the process.

    I learned a nugget in one of my management training workshops (bizarrely enough) that's served me really well, in a big way, in all parts of my life: When something I don't like happens, I need to consider what I personally have done to create, promote, or allow that situation.

    Is that so I can blame myself? No. It's a way of looking at things that highlights what I can do to improve the situation, by focusing on the aspects that I personally can control, or at least influence. In any situation, my attitude/feelings about it are 100% in my control.

    I'm not saying it's easy to change those feelings, but it's possible: If you don't like feeling guilty and emotionally/psychologically bad, that's in your control. What advice would you give a dear friend in a similar scenario? Talk to yourself that way, in your head. If your thoughts turn in darker directions, keep giving yourself the best-friend talk. Or breath. Or distract. I figure that letting myself think in a particular way creates ruts in my cognitive pathways, makes it easier next time to think in those same ways. If you're in a negative cognitive rut, it can take work to move to a happier path.

    Physically, the bloatedness and other bad feelings will dissipate gradually, as you go back to your normal, more desirable eating patterns. Probably most of any scale-weight gain will drop off, too, within a few days to a couple of weeks, because a large fraction of it is water weight and increased digestive contents on their way to becoming waste. Neither of those are fat, so they're not worth worrying about. You'll see the pattern if you watch calmly for the next couple of weeks, and will learn how your body responds to unusual eating/travel/activity. That's useful to learn, too.

    Meanwhile, if you haven't already read it, take a few minutes to read the article linked below. You may find it reassuring, for sure informative.

    https://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations
  • JaysFan82
    JaysFan82 Posts: 851 Member
    2 days isn't going to kill you. That used to be a huge mental roadblock for me. It was my birthday last week and I had two cheesy chicken quesadillas. My God were they good. The next day I played baseball for two hours (I normally do that Sundays) and went back to my 'diet'. Still lost weight.
  • Xellercin
    Xellercin Posts: 924 Member
    Feeling guilty about eating is a useless emotion.

    You didn't do anything wrong. You made a choice.

    You chose to eat more while on a weekend trip. That choice was either worth it or it wasn't. That's it.

    Saying you feel guilty about eating more on a trip is like saying you feel guilty about getting a haircut that you aren't sure flatters your face, or that you wore shoes that were cute, but gave you blisters.

    Do I sometimes regret a haircut or a pair of cute shoes? Absolutely. But I don't feel guilty, I just know not to make that choice again in the future.

    If you look back on the eating from the weekend and say "you know what? That was worth every bite and I'm perfectly fine with how this will affect my weight over time" then cool, I'm glad you enjoyed the weekend.

    However, if you look back and say "in the moment those meals felt worth it, but looking back, they weren't good enough to be worth the delays in reaching my weight goals" then make a plan to make more effective choices the next time you're in that situation.

    You didn't do anything wrong to feel guilty about. You just made some choices that in the moment perhaps felt worth it and now need to assess if your judgement in those moments was in fact correct.

    That's it.

    You either get that same haircut again or you don't. You either wear the cute shoes again and accept the blisters or you don't. You either eat the way you did during that weekend and accept the impact on your weight or you don't.

    No guilt, just rational choices based on known benefits and costs.
  • DFW_Tom
    DFW_Tom Posts: 218 Member
    Spells, first of all, congratulations on shedding those 14 lbs.

    Being mindful of what, and how much we eat is something we can always do. For some, that is enough.
    For others a plan is needed that counts the calories, carbs, fiber, fats and proteins. It is much easier to control macros in what we eat when we have total control over our food at home. That is not the case when we are on vacation/ even a quick weekend one. Enjoy your time away, don't worry about it, and get back on the routine you have established when you get back. No reason to feel guilt.

    My wife and I spent a week at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico last month. It took a week after getting home to shed the water retention pounds I put on (mostly from mixed drinks). We had a great time, and I wouldn't change a thing. I wasn't hard at all to get back into my eating and fitness routine.
  • sarabushby
    sarabushby Posts: 784 Member
    Hey, you need to be way kinder to yourself! Don’t be feeling all guilty over relaxing for a weekend. Just get back on it tomorrow. You’ll soon feel good again.

    You wouldn’t judge someone else who had a weekend of letting their hair down would you? You MIGHT see a blip on the scales but my word it’ll be insignificant in the long game.

    Drink some water, get a good nights sleep and chillax.
  • soldodunja81
    soldodunja81 Posts: 14 Member
    Hello, I have recently lost weight as well and when I go to a party with friends I always end up eating around 3000 cal daily because it’s no fun without drinks and snacks. Overeating one day won’t make you gain weight, just like eating well one day won’t make you lose weight. It takes several days and weeks of bad eating to gain weight. Many people even believe in cheat days and have one every week. You will feel bad probably for about 3 days or so until the bloating goes away, but just go back to your regular calorie tracking and within a few days you should feel less bloated, cranky and lighter. Good luck!
  • debtay123
    debtay123 Posts: 1,327 Member
    I used to feel bad and talk to myself (mentally) like I had done something wrong too- whenever I had over eaten or made a poorer choice-- like many have said-- let's turn that around- I had to LEARN to give myself grace and to NOT run myself down because of a food choice( I mean I would never do that to a friend about one of her choices) so NOW I am getting better at this-- and I am losing more consistently each week- because we really do need to STOP with the food shaming, mental meaness etc- in the area of fitness, eating and health. good luck-- making ONE change at a time
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,879 Member
    You don't put on loads of weight from a weekend. Also, there's nothing to feel guilty about...enjoying yourself and indulging from time to time isn't a sin. If you travelled by air, much of that bloat is probably from simply traveling. Long car rides also can cause this.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
    spells1977 wrote: »
    Does anyone else feel like this after a holiday?

    Of course! Physically, not emotionally.

    Airplane travel, car travel, differences in food, water, exercise, eating and sleeping times, etc. all causes differences in the way my body feels. The vacation is usually worth it and more!

    Get right back to the habits that keep your body happy and enjoy the memories of your vacation!
  • pcrozier99
    pcrozier99 Posts: 35 Member
    Guilt for what? You aren't hurting anyone by having an enjoyable weekend. You are trying to lose weight for the long term, not give up living. Sometimes living your life comes first. If you give up every pleasure in life in exchange for losing a few more pounds quicker, is it worth it? Discipline is important for success in losing weight, but you can't become a slave to the scale and the MyFitness app. Otherwise, special nights out, holidays and vacations will be ruined. One day, one week or even more of indulging is going to happen. Let it and then get back on track. I recently returned from a 10 day vacation where I put it all aside and enjoyed myself. Ate and drank as I saw fit. The result? A one pound gain which was dealt with within a week of my return. Not worth any regret whatsoever.
  • Seasonal_One
    Seasonal_One Posts: 49 Member
    Just got back from a week of vacation late on Sunday. On one of these MFP vacation threads recently, I commented to enjoy your time away and make smart choices. During my vacation had meals with friends, some beer, and fun. Jumped on the scale first thing Monday morning and found that I lost 2 pounds over the week. Made sure that if I was going to eat Pizza, a slice was enough. If I drank a beer or two, very light beer was the choice. I never made a big deal out of my choices for others. Fortunately, the vacation included a lot of physical activity and I mostly was able to stick with my OMAD. I had not expected this and was very pleased to see the scale results.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    I'm learning not to hold onto guilt for this kind of thing. I just got back Saturday from a week away, spent with my 2 dds and 1 of their boyfriends. Part of enjoying my vacation was seeing new places but also eating at new places, trying new foods, enjoying the company of people I love. Why would I harbor any guilt over that? I'll be spending a couple weeks, probably, getting back to where I was(haven't even weighed myself yet) but to me, it was worth it. Vacations are temporary and meant to be enjoyed. For me, food is all part of that. :) Life is too short not to. I can take the weight away but the memories made were definitely worth a few pounds. <3
    JMO