Rant about Clothes and Breasts

Sinisterbarbie1
Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 278 Member
edited May 21 in Chit-Chat
I used to have breasts on the moderate to large side (38D), but then I had breast cancer and I no longer have breasts. I have also lost more than 50 lbs, and am on the light side of a healthy BMI, so one might think that when I order clothing from a catalog (not buying in some high end designer shop that only sells size triple 000 to fashion models) and the catalog says “runs true to size” and “the model is 5’9” and is wearing a size XS” , “The second model is 5’11 and is wearing a size S” and the third model is 6’0 and is wearing a size 2X”) and the first to models appear rather similar to my current build except that they both have rather large breasts for their bodies, that if I order a size or two up from that (as someone who is the same height and has no breasts at all, I would be OK. BUT NO!!!! The dress arrives and it fits perfectly fine everywhere else (even a bit large), but a human person with a ribcage even without breasts cannot close it regardless of whether she wishes to breathe or not.

Before I lost the weight and the breasts I might have been dispirited about clothing sizing and model sizing and the fact that catalogs only tell you how tall the model is not how much she weighs or how big her chest is to help you figure out if you are going to waste your time and money buying clothes that you are just going to have to waste more time and money returning, but now I really feel sort of cheated! I did the work, AND there is no possible way on earth anyone has smaller breasts than me. And yet ….

On the flip side, I also recently went shopping for a gift for the home health aide who helps me care for my parents. She is built quite differently than me. She is petite in stature, has broad shoulders, a curvy figure, and is very strong. She is overweight but she could carry me and my mother if she needed to. She is my rock. She is beautiful and she has big breasts and a huge personality. It is summer and it gets very hot here. I wanted to get her something light and airy to wear if any of us ever have the chance to go out in the evening. I found a nice, gauzy but strategically lined top with heavy gauge decorative edging on the short sleeves and a matching open floaty wrap. Both are white. I also got her a scarf she can drape if she prefers. I thought twice about buying something white for a woman with an ample figure after the (skinny) salesperson kept steering me only to things in black or brown, But those were all ugly and drab and looked ancient and wintry, and not her, and not right. I thought I was striking a blow for women not having to always wear black just because they are heavier than what society thinks they should be. But after my own dress incident I am second guessing my gift purchase too.
Thoughts? I don’t want a gift to end up being an unpleasant experience for her. (At least I have a gift receipt!)

Replies

  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 7,609 Member
    My thought is that buying clothes for other people is usually not a good idea.
    Everyone's taste in clothes is so subjective and individual that choosing for someone else usually doesn't hit the mark.

    My other entirely subjective and individual thought is that I dont wear white clothes - they get dirty too easily.

    Nothing to do with weight or breast size.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,511 Member
    Just tell the recipient if she doesn't care for it or it doesn't fit, she's more than welcome to return it, with your blessings.
    What a sweet gesture on your part, to put so much thought into the gift!!

    FYI I hate clothes shopping because nothing ever fits the way the charts say it will and our small town has zero clothing stores now. :( They took our J.C.Penny's away a couple years ago and I used to buy most of my own clothes there. Before that store closed, we had Maurice's and Fashion Bug. Now nothing.

    I wonder how using one of the sites where you only keep and pay for what you like, would work? I think even amazon does it now.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 6,445 Member
    I've been trying to buy some shirts (white) and replacement joggers online and all I can say is read the reviews!

    Clothes can be difficult to buy for others so if you've seen her wearing that style before, that'll help. Size is...not very uniform with brands. Maybe look at sizing charts online?
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 649 Member
    I can’t imagine buying clothes for another adult, even if I know their style and size. They’re are just too many variables. What you wish to do, however, is so sweet. I would suggest a gift card to a clothing store. Good luck!
  • Xellercin
    Xellercin Posts: 784 Member
    edited June 5
    Well two things:

    Buying clothes for someone else is VERY challenging. My family owns a clothing store and I can pretty easily pick out what cuts will look good on a lot of people, but I don't always nail the exact right size. But even then, I only buy clothes for people I'm very close to and who I know will take it well if I'm off on their size.

    As for cuts of clothing. Yeah, a lot of clothes are cut... interestingly, especially from online retailers. But there are a lot of different body types out there to try and dress. Maybe some extremely pear-shaped woman out there with a tiny ribcage and very ample hips is crying in joy trying on your dress because something finally fits her. Who knows.

    Also, I don't know what retailer you bought from, maybe it's a well known, high-end brand, but if it isn't and it's one of these large clothing producers from China, then yeah, you can just expect their cuts to be HORRID, and cut with no human body in mind because they aren't, they're just roughly cut to knock off other designers, not for an actual, human body in mind.

    If it is from a reputable retailer known for making decent clothes though, one thing I know from years of seeing women try on clothes is that what looks horrible on one woman can look amazing on another. But because of the variety of shapes and cuts, most clothes don't look amazing on any one body type because there's just too much variety out there.

    You have to find your particular brands that work for your particular body. My mom, my sister, and myself are all shaped differently, so we all have different brands/designers from the store that we can wear, and despite all being roughly the same size, we can't share clothes. I mean, we all usually fit in each other's clothes, they just look absolutely terrible.

    For me personally, I have a shape that is tricky to dress, so I just expect 99% of garments not to fit well, and almost everything I own is either stretchy or custom tailored.

    Buying really well fitting clothes as a woman is a bit of struggle.

    As for your health aide, I would personally just outright ask her if she's comfortable with you buying her a clothing gift.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 278 Member
    Just reporting back that the gift for my parents’ aide worked out perfectly. It fit and flattered her and she was really happy about it.
    She wore it on a night out (as we had talked about) and showed us photos.

    As for my personal rant, I got it out of my system, thanks for listening. The retailer is definitely a legitimate, well known brand. I order from them all the time now that I am a smaller size -usually successfully - so maybe it was just a weird cut or the particular dress I ended up with was on the bottom of the pile when they were cut or something. I returned the dress for a larger size (so now it was too big and i didn’t want to send it back again so I had the buttons on the bodice adjusted). Since it is a sundress it doesn’t matter that the skirt is wider than it needs to be. I don’t ALWAYS have to be showing off exactly how much weight I have lost! I wore it yesterday to a tea party on a friend’s farm and received compliments :blush:

    Note to self: MFP is good for blowing off steam so you don’t do things that are bad for your figure instead!
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 649 Member
    I’m so glad it worked out for you. The previous post to yours reminded me of a Christmas memory. My older sister and I always had the same figure shape (hour glass), although she is 4-5” taller than I. We would share clothes when growing up. One year, my parents gave the each of us a typical, knee-length dress in burgundy (different styles). We immediately jumped up and tried them on. They really did not look good. We swapped and then they looked great! I don’t recall the difference in style, but we all had a laugh!