Anxiety - self help resources?

Lietchi
Lietchi Posts: 6,826 Member
in Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
You'd never tell by his demeanor, but my BF has always had some anxiety issues, but mostly under control.
But last night he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking me to hug him because he was freaking out and also terribly cold. He's changing jobs soon (prestigious international organisation) and very afraid of failure as well as afraid of having an anxiety attack at work. It took him at least an hour to (sort of) calm down.

He'll probably look for a counselor soon, but most likely he won't be able to have an appointment in the near future. So I'm wondering if any of you have some self help resources you can suggest for anxiety, to help him while he waits for counseling? Good books or podcasts for example?
He's been meditating daily for the past few weeks, but apparently it's not enough for this major life change...

Replies

  • 88AViva
    88AViva Posts: 499 Member
    edited May 2022
    I go through the same when I'm facing big changes or failures. I tried meditation but it doesn't work for me as well as the sauna, a hot water shower/bath or yin yoga. Games help me feel myself again. I will choose something calming or puzzle based like stardew Valley, monument valley, machinarium, Terraria, world of goo and such. The rain, train and wind chime white noise sounds help too. I can't focus on reading when I'm anxious. Maybe I will find some interesting podcasts that are soothing in the future.
  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,479 Member
    Is he open to the idea of supplements?
  • 88AViva
    88AViva Posts: 499 Member
    edited May 2022
    I also take magnesium at night before sleep and zinc in the afternoons(anti-inflammatory for when I'm anxious, it affects my body and I get flares), I don't know if that helps others, but for me so far so good.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,826 Member
    I think he's open to the idea of supplements, as long as they're not too 'woo'. He already takes a general multivitamin and magnesium.
    Is zinc something he should try? Or other supplements?

    I've read good things about CBT for weight loss, I'm wondering if it might be something to explore for anxiety as well.
    He already plays games :smile: (computer games, as well as board games with me)
  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,479 Member
    Lietchi wrote: »
    I think he's open to the idea of supplements, as long as they're not too 'woo'. He already takes a general multivitamin and magnesium.
    Is zinc something he should try? Or other supplements?

    Everyone has a different definition of what constitutes "woo," but I'll throw these out there:

    May be worth checking out Ashwagandha-
    https://examine.com/supplements/ashwagandha/
    I use this, as do a few of my friends, and anecdotally, seems to be beneficial.

    As well as possibly L-Theanine-
    https://examine.com/supplements/theanine/
    I've tried this and didn't notice any effect at all, but...if it helps some people, maybe worth a shot.

    Both are pretty cheap so it's not a huge financial gamble either way.

    Another possibility that comes to mind (but has no articles on Examine) is kratom. Some strains/veins are energizing, but some (I'm thinking of reds in particular) have a sedating, relaxing, anxiety-relieving effect.

  • facelegtoe
    facelegtoe Posts: 16 Member
    Does he have any other health symptoms at all? The freaking out and cold sensations are definitely symptoms of a panic attack. It may be that a health condition is causing it, or more likely, it's "just" a panic attack. Get him to the doctors for a health check to settle his mind. Blood tests, thyroid, blood pressure, diabetes maybe.

    I developed panic disorder a few years back and can relate to that awful cold feeling. My symptoms are usually that I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, feel like I need to get out of my body, weird hot/cold sensation in the chest, and extreme shivering and just a general sense of doom. It's the worst feeling and can be so isolating. But he's not on his own.

    I decided to try an SSRI as I was really bad at the time. SSRI's are sometimes not ideal as they can increase anxiety at first and make you tired, and they can take weeks to work. But, overall I'd say they helped me. So that's one possibility.

    There are organisations you can get in touch with, like Mind or Anxiety UK that can guide you in the right direction. My local area has easy to access group therapy and online CBT through the NHS too so ask them about that.

    As someone else said, CBT can be so helpful as it teaches you that you have control over your anxiety. There's a book called Dare. It comes with an app too which has all sorts of talks you can listen to when you're going through a panic attack. Another great app for me was Headspace. A mindfulness app which teaches woo-free meditation. There's a sleep meditation which used to get me from a level 10 panic attack to fast asleep in 10 mins. lol. I think there's a charge for this now now. I had it on a student deal at the time. It was also free with an Anxiety UK subscription so that could be worth looking in to.

    Another really great book for anyone really, but especially us neurotic types is Derren Brown's Happy. So many tips for managing your thoughts and feelings in there. It's not really for anxiety, but overall general mental health.

    Claire Weekes was popular in the 70s for her work with anxious patients. There are a few old videos on her on YouTube and her books are great. So calming.

    I hope you find something in there that helps ♥

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26452130-dare

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30142270-happy?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=90oWkQyrtl&rank=1

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/194383.Hope_and_Help_for_Your_Nerves
  • avatiach
    avatiach Posts: 298 Member
    There are some simple yoga poses that I find calming—child’s pose, legs up the wall. Also simple breathing exercises (you can read about them or use an app like Insight Timer). At my last big panic attack I hand wrote on a notepad all of my worries. Didn’t read it over, recycled it right away but felt much better. I also felt better during one attack when I acknowledged “oh this is a panic attack.” Last but not least, walking or any other preferred exercise.
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 1,029 Member
    @Lietchi Hope your BF is doing better by now. I have just come across this thread and would like to suggest Googling Brene Brown. She has many talks online about different kinds of / aspects of anxiety.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,826 Member
    He's doing better 🙂

    He went to the doctor, who didn't do much except refer him to a physio and prescribe a herbal supplement (passion flower extract).

    If you're thinking the referral to a physio is strange, you're right 😉 but psychologists and psychiatrists have very long waiting lists here. The physio wasn't available immediately either, but faster than a psychologist.
    In the meantime, BF spent some time reading books about anxiety and doing some breathing exercises.

    The physio is specialized in work related issues. She taught him breathing exercises, some CBT techniques,...

    Currently he's still taking the herbal supplement prescribed by his doctor and doing breathing exercises every morning and evening (and I presume using the CBT techniques).
    He's also exercising several times a week, focusing a bit more on cardio than before.
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 1,029 Member
    I’m so glad to hear that he is doing better
  • YogaMusician
    YogaMusician Posts: 80 Member
    CBD

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