Jealous Spouse/Partner

Katie3784
Katie3784 Posts: 543
edited October 2 in Health and Weight Loss
I have been noticing what seems to be jealousy, or possibly resentment, from my husband over the fact that I am diligent about exercising. I devote 30-45 minutes in the morning, before anyone wakes up, and about an hour in the afternoon everyday to exercise. It makes me feel great and is one of the only things I really do for myself. It seems to me that whenever my hubby is home and I exercise, he gets a little annoyed. I used to think it was because he wanted to spend time with me, but now I honestly think he is jealous of my determination and "sticktoitivness" because he does not exercise and anytime he's ever tried to start a program, he gives up within the first week. I wish he would work out for his health, but I do not put pressure on him because I know the desire has to come from within, but I wish he were more understanding of my need to work out. It really helps keep me sane when we have so much stress in our lives. Plus, my working out really does benefit him in that he has a sexy wife to be with. Does anyone else get this feeling from their partner, and what do you do about it?

Replies

  • sreimer07
    sreimer07 Posts: 154 Member
    I know what you mean! My boyfriend does the same thing. He actually did a program for about a month before he stopped all together. He's the type that wants instant results. He's not helpful when it comes to food either. He can eat a lot and doesn't really gain weight. So for some reason he thinks I can do that same thing.
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    Its a tough egg to crack. He probably is a little jealous. Envious of your drive and determination to exercise. Its not that he's not happy for you, but rather sounds like he sees your effort and that makes him have a bad self-image of himself. Subconciously its easier for him to try to bring you down with him rather than get himself off the couch and start exercising too. Its a tough egg to crack because he's got to want to do it for himself, just like you are doing it for yourself. Slowly try to get him to be more active with you, try to find activities that are more active that you guys can enjoy together.
  • michedarnd
    michedarnd Posts: 207 Member
    *sigh* I got that problem with mine, the last time that I had to try to peel pounds. In fact, I GAINED them, because he resented my time so much that I stopped doing the exercise I did to maintain myself (and because he insisted we go out to eat all of the time, because he didn't want me playing a "traditional" role of doing the cooking!!!!!). Alas, I don't know how to fix the problem, but you're not the only person to feel that. Maybe try taking a walk with him and call it "us" time? At least, I can offer a sympathetic ear, but I can't offer constructive advice, unfortunately. :(
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    My fiance does sometimes. He understands why I do it but he still gets a little "Why do you need to exercise today? You're doing great, take a day off, you just had a baby" Well no, I had a baby 6 months ago and while I've lost 57lb in those 6months, I still have 48lb to go until my prepreg weight and another 38lb on top of that to where I want to be. I think he's mainly afraid I'll take it to an obsessed level like I have in the past.
    He talks about wanting to start running again (former marine) but he never really gets out and does it. He'll do it, eventually, I guess!
  • woo1324
    woo1324 Posts: 168 Member
    Hey oddly i get a bit jealous to when my hubby works out or does better than me ,,, i never let him know and always encourage him but still i know its wrong for me to feel that, of course i want him to be healthy and i like the motivation it provides.

    I think its because i wish i could be more like that so easy going about excercise and weight and the pangs of jealousy just creep in
    especially when i think i might completly fail and he will be this great looking picture of health and people will then judge me even more harsley.

    Maybe your husband is feeling a bit worried about how you might feel about him when you reach your goal weight sometimes those insecure feelings can come out as resentment
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Had a gf who used to say she was into running and stuff, she worked at a private fly-in camp owned by some rich americans. The following year she got me a position cooking there. I ran trails daily and tried to get her to go, and I got a mix of 'i wouldnt be comfortable doing it around you' and 'why are you trying to change me', not to mention a few others.

    She could also sleep in til 11...12...1,2or even 3pm.

    Needless to say, it didn't work out.
  • teakwood
    teakwood Posts: 7 Member
    Sounds like you need to talk to dr. phil.
This discussion has been closed.

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