I feel like my family doesnt take me seriously.

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ReziiTarDust
ReziiTarDust Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
I live with my sister and mother. They both look at me stupid when I talk about counting my calories or what exercises I want to do today. My sister has always liked to attack my appearance ever since I was littlee. She's always called me names. The worst you could think of pertaining to my weight. Now that we're older she's gained ALOT of weight and is no longer thin. She weighs more then I do. Even when I was pregnant she weighed more then I do. Since she can't attack my weight she picks on other things about me. For instance my butt and how I "have no butt". Or just really stupid things. I've never insulted her for her looks because I know how it feels and I wish she would stop. Since I started my diet and exercising she just gives me that look like I dont know what I'm doing and am stupid for trying like I can't do it. I try to get her to do it with me but she doesnt seem to really want to. I feel out of place being the only one to do it. I look at my baby and just really want to try my hardest. It sucks to see them eat whatever they want and look at me like I'm stupid. It makes me feel bad. I'm trying to keep the goals in my head. I'm enjoying the feeling of working out. Having more energy, feeling the burn. It's just hard to do it by myself. Especially since I have no friends where I live. e_e

Replies

  • natalietowens
    natalietowens Posts: 45
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    Myfitnesspal is a great place for you. Don't give up and you will not be sorry. Sometimes those closes to you will try and sabotage you because you are trying and they are not. Your child will thank you one day for being a healthy mom. Keep up the good work!
  • MzFury
    MzFury Posts: 283 Member
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    YUCK - not fun. Mainly that you have no friends where you live! The hardest thing with family is PERSPECTIVE, in my experience. If at all possible, my best advice is to practice "looking from a distance" at the situation, seeing it as sort of funny and remaining centered in your truth otherwise. Laugh the *kitten* off. All of this, of course, is much easier with friends (are you a single mother? if not, you need to get all the support you can from babydaddy! if so, maybe there's a playgroup you could join?). I dunno... Anyway - I wish you well and I hear you.
  • TrishJimenez
    TrishJimenez Posts: 561 Member
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    They are afraid that if they support you, that you will succeed and then that will make them feel more insecure. To them misery loves company. And as long as you are not eating healthy and trying to exercise and take care of yourself then you are supporting their unhealthy habits and that makes them feel justified in eating and living the way that they do. And when you stepped out and started taking care of yourself then it kind of "shows up" their bad habits. I would try to ignore them when they act like this. And try not to expect anything better from them then what you have had from then in the past. Just worry about yourself and do what you need to do for you and your kids. Maybe someday they will come to you and ask you for help and then you can help them.
  • sunshine_rae66
    sunshine_rae66 Posts: 3 Member
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    I have a sister that has always been heavier than me and she never has anything nice to say about anything about me. Due to several issues in our relationship we don't speak. I choose to be around and listen to positive people who can alway find something good about things around them. Personally, I like to say something nice to at least one person a day...if they feel better about it it makes me smile and it didn't take anything out of my day. Everyday when you get up you need to look at yourself in the mirror and remember why you are going on this journey. I have two boys and I want to be a fun and active mom for them. Thanks for listening and I wish you the best!
    Rae
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    There are always going to be all kinds of dynamics in families that you cant control.
    The part you CAN control is how you respond to it. If you choose to take it to heart and get upset about it, it will be harder.
    If you choose to laugh it off and do what you KNOW is right, life will get easier.

    And of course, if it really bugs you, then do whatever you have to do to get your own place where you can keep some distance and just see them when you want to.
  • kjannan
    kjannan Posts: 248 Member
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    Come & lean on everyone here, the ears of others in the same boat can be more understanding.

    My family don't give me a lot of support, probably because they're thinking "here she goes.....again!" This time I am losing weight though so they can think whatever they like, they won't be out on the beach in a bikini this summer!

    Maybe it's a bit of jealousy too, it takes a lot of motivation & self control to be on this journey.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
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    That sounds like they are pretty insecure themselves--maybe even jealous? Good thing you are doing this for you. Blow past their dirty looks and snide comments, because at the end of the day it's your success that matters. I get some judgement in my life on my level of dedication to my workouts and how I pay attention to everything I eat. But I guess the way I feel is f**k whatever they think, it's my body. You have plenty of friends here who will give you the support you need. Keep up all of your hard work!
  • Minnesnowtagurl
    Minnesnowtagurl Posts: 406 Member
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    We all get beat up by the words of friends and family which are also those that don't understand the need for wanting to become healthy. People look at you and see change. They also see you attempting to take on an area in your life that they may have failed at and will discourage you. Although their intentions might not be on purpose you have to find that place within you to use their words as motivation.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Oh, I knew I forgot to say something... don't talk about it! Just eat what you want to eat, exercise when you can, but don't share the details with them.

    Even if you are just being enthusiastic, they might see it as you being critical of them and showing off because you are smart enough to know what's a good choice and stick to it. Or they see it as nagging. Or preaching. Or looking down on them.
    I'm not saying that this is what you are doing, but that is probably how they see it, most likely it makes them feel bad because they aren't making the good choices that you are.

    I know that anyone telling me I had to lose weight or how I should do it really used to piss me off. Now I just do what I know is right and don't discuss the details unless people specifically ask and I think they actually care!
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    Come talk to us about your workout and food plans! We love that sort of thing here!

    My family is kinda... neutral about all this. My husband has been mostly fantastic but he's trying to get into better shape too. My kids think it's awesome that I am getting off my butt and playing on the Wii with them (except when Mommy is doing Zumba - they know that Mommy doesn't like getting smacked in the head when a little one decides to try it and collides with Mommy heh). The rest of my family? My youngest brother really wants me to let him be my personal trainer. The idea terrifies me! The rest are just like ho-hum you're trying to lose weight, great for you now shut up about it. I may have blabbered on about it a little too much. Oops.

    Anyway, my point is that everyone here is in the same boat as you - we're all here for fitness and health. So if you need to talk, then post. We'll be listening.

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