I dont want to feel like this anymore.

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LuvORR
LuvORR Posts: 36
in Introduce Yourself
Why is it that when I meet a guy and he does not give me as much attention I panic he is not talking to me because I am FAT? I honestly need so much attention and assurance because I hate myself. I need to learn to gain my confidence back some way some how :-(

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  • GymRatRaceRunner
    GymRatRaceRunner Posts: 160 Member
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    Learn to love yourself. The rest will fall into place.
  • jminette
    jminette Posts: 81
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    I'm in the same boat... I had so much more attention from guys when I was a little thinner, but I know my confidence went down so so much... And I'll be honest and say it's probably my confidence, not my weight, that gets less attention.
  • anababiie
    anababiie Posts: 23
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    I'm in the same boat... I had so much more attention from guys when I was a little thinner, but I know my confidence went down so so much... And I'll be honest and say it's probably my confidence, not my weight, that gets less attention.

    Such a good point!
  • aallison85
    aallison85 Posts: 97 Member
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    Weight and body image is such a hard topic for women (and men too). If these issues are getting in the way of your happiness and your ability to have people in your life, it may be a good idea to consult a therapist. There are many therapists that will work with you on a sliding scale basis if you do not have insurance.

    Body image issues are incredibly difficult to work through on your own. Most likely, even if you do lose the weight you would like to lose, you will still feel those painful feelings of being unwanted or inadequate. The weight is only a piece in the puzzle.

    I wish you the best! Good luck!
  • FAtGiRLFItGiRL
    FAtGiRLFItGiRL Posts: 156
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    your weight does not define who you are. and if that is a deal breaker for a guy then he aint worth your time.
  • VemmaMom
    VemmaMom Posts: 82 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and your confidence will shine thru and then that is a major attraction for men. They love confidence and alot of times for females it takes time and just experience to learn this skill.... your gorgeous and thin....we just have to remember that our size doesnt make who we are....
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Have you considered that because you have low self esteem you are "Fat." Most people hate to admit that being "FAT" IS A result AND not THE CAUSE of their Problems, UNTIL Obesity truly becomes the major problem...causing all types of physical and more emotional problems.
  • sheena200
    sheena200 Posts: 1
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    i think doomsayer is right but ive been there its definitely the way you feel about you know guy or person is going to want to be around someone thats always downing them selves your not an ugly girl the way you feel about you shows in the way you carry yourself. #love your self and others will follow
  • xochi71
    xochi71 Posts: 33
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    I am nearly 40 and I have seen guys come and go. The best advice to find out who you are, develop a love for yourself and your life. Become independent, you'll walk taller and carry yourself better. That way the cute guys see you and you don't see them. Love yourself and enjoy life. That is what my husband said caught his attention.
  • lostsoul2216
    lostsoul2216 Posts: 57 Member
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    You have to love yourself and be happy with yourself. This has to come form inside you. If you are worried on what people think of you, and that they are not giving enough attention to you, perhaps the relationship is the issue and not you.

    I have met over the years girl who were drop dead beautiful who had the personalities of very vile, arrogant, diva type people who think they are better than others. I have met BBW's who had the beautiful personality.

    People are shallow and will put down anything or anyone that they have opinions on. YOur opinions and how you feel matter the most.

    A year or two ago, on a program called celebrity fit club, there was a lady from the old "happy days" show. The girl was probably 120 pounds dripping wet. She was on there partly because she thought she was fat but the other aspect was she was in it for just the money.

    It is good to be healthy and if people want to put you down because of it, then the have the issues. No one is perfect. Just be yourself and the rest will follow.
  • LuvORR
    LuvORR Posts: 36
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    You guys are the best!
  • LuvORR
    LuvORR Posts: 36
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    I agree with you completely :-(
    Weight and body image is such a hard topic for women (and men too). If these issues are getting in the way of your happiness and your ability to have people in your life, it may be a good idea to consult a therapist. There are many therapists that will work with you on a sliding scale basis if you do not have insurance.

    Body image issues are incredibly difficult to work through on your own. Most likely, even if you do lose the weight you would like to lose, you will still feel those painful feelings of being unwanted or inadequate. The weight is only a piece in the puzzle.

    I wish you the best! Good luck!
  • aallison85
    aallison85 Posts: 97 Member
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    Hang in there, lady!! :) We are all rooting for you!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Besides all the great advice, you really are not fat, honestly, you look great!!!
  • LuvORR
    LuvORR Posts: 36
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    You are too sweet!! You know society now days considers anyone under 120 fat! I think everyone is beautiful!! I am working hard to lose the weight. We need more people like you in this world!!
    Besides all the great advice, you really are not fat, honestly, you look great!!!

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