Here I am.

Hi, My name is Edward. Recently things have been tough, two months ago I was just fine. I weighed around 170, had a six pack, ripped body, demon back, big biceps and really toned tri’s ,the dream body you could say, but it wasn’t over yet i wanted to go even farther to maximize my potential. Unfortunately, a week after that, I started feeling a sharp stabbing pain in the lower section of my abdomen, and a week after that I had gone straight to the ER, they took a couple of x-rays and found out there was an object stuck in my abdomen and had to go into emergency surgery, they put me to sleep, the surgery was supposed to take 10 minutes but it happened to take 2 hours. This all happened on May 28th, 2022. I had stayed in the hospital for about 3 days straight. The surgery was a success although, I couldn’t use my abdomen at all, they had cut straight through the muscle and had placed staples on the incision to keep it closed. I felt the most weakest I have ever felt in my life, I struggled so much to even get out of bed and to use the bathroom was such a struggle. Stool movement was hard because I couldn’t use abdomen to push, and every time my bladder would get full the incision would burn. The worst part was that I couldn’t get any single workout that i wanted to get in even getting up to walk, every single step was a hard one to take and I couldn’t even walk like a normal human being, I would walk as if I had a disability and I hated how long it would take to get any where, to go get a glass water, to go to the restroom to go make myself something to eat, to shower and clean up for myself. I couldn’t bend over or kneel so I often found myself making a mess and not being able to pick it up. I would get help from my brother or father, but I’m normally stubborn person and like getting everything done on my own, I also hate wasting people’s time with *kitten* like that so I would get so mad and I would break down in tears and hate myself for the *kitten* I couldn’t do. I have an apartment type of property with three houses and I live with my family of uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings and my father and I stay in a little garage in the middle of all three houses. Most of them were always working so I spent most of my days in solitude. My girl would also work all the time but at least she would come by like 3 times a week for maybe an hour each time so I appreciate her for keeping me company at times when she could. I’m going to be honest, solitude felt like *kitten*, and yes I’ve spent a lot of my life like this but this time it was worse because my only form of motivation and meditation was working out but it turned out that in my case I couldn’t do any of that. I fell into deep depression and would just think about life and how I didn’t deserve it, spent most of my time contemplating like a dumbass. I would feel pain from my incision too but that’s easy to handle. It’s now been a month and a half, and last Thursday was my first day back into working out and recovery training, it was such a relief to be able to be back outside and to be able to do a few workouts. I’m now back on my *kitten* and now I know what it feels like to have everything taken away from you, snatched from u and now I know that I have to work even harder to get stronger and to get even better than I was before. I have now learned to respect myself and to take things really slow, to enjoy life and every single moment god blesses me with. I have learned to appreciate myself as god’s child and creation and now I’m here to make him, myself and my family proud. I will be working out 5 days a week every week from now on and will take my life slow, but seriously. I hope for those who made it to the very end of this story to follow me on my fitness journey and to stay motivated with me to complete our goals together. Stay 100% stay humble.

[edited by MFP staff]