Never thought someone would say this to me...

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olivia3263
olivia3263 Posts: 263 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was at work today, and lately a lot of the other teachers have been asking me for dieting advice because of all the weight I'd lost - feels kinda good, I'm not gonna lie :)

Anyway, today, someone actually said - "You're wasting away. You look perfect the way you are right now." I said I was actually trying to lose 10 more (in my head it's more like 15) and she said, "Oh, than you're trying to be really skinny."

I'm 31 and 5'8 - starting weight was 190 and I'm down to 158. My original goal was 160 because I wasn't sure what to set it as - now I have a goal of 143, but I am aware that with my muscle and build that may not be possible. She said this is a nice way, not in a *****y way or concerned in anyway, but I guess I'm just wondering - how do you know when enough is enough. I'm happy with my weight now, but also happy with my eating and don't feel deprived. I feel like I could keep eating like this and not go to maintenance and lose more.

How did you know when to stop? I never thought someone would say I looked perfect (haha), but I'm taking it with a grain of salt and I will stop when I'm ready. I feel like the right weight for me will be somewhere between now and 143, and hopefully I'll know it when I hit it - I'm just wondering if I'll be able to stop (knowing that the 143 is still out there).

Has anyone experienced this - stopping before their initial goal? Who knows, maybe I'll go all the way - but I don't want to look sickly (or more importantly be sickly).

Replies

  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
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    Sorry dear. . from what I am seeing there is nothing wrong with your goal weight. .. It is within range. . I know for my height of 5'7 it says a healthy weight is 122-145 . . . So I think you are doing just fine. .

    Sometimes people will say things out of pure jealously. . I would go with what a doctor says is healthy. . . Good luck to you.
  • macmommy4
    macmommy4 Posts: 2
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    when you get there you'll know! Don't let someone else's opinion make you question your goals! (Even though it was a compliment!) Be proud of your acheivements so far, but you can continue on. You would be a perfectly healthy weight at 143 since you are 5' 8".
  • zakee67
    zakee67 Posts: 6
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    I think you are doing great losing weight just stay on your path. You have worked hard and if you feel good and your doctor doesnt advise you differently go for it. Good luck with your future weight loss.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    when you get there you'll know!
    This isn't always true, unfortunately. A lot of people see a warped image of themselves when they look in the mirror.

    Personally, I'll know I don't have to lose any more when I no longer have a hanging flab on my tummy... when I can see some definition on my abs.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Are you capable of looking in the mirror and seeing the true you? (some aren't). If you are, you know what you see, and you know what can be improved. I'm 5'8" and 149. I know i still have significant fat stores on my legs, but I look good in clothing and my upper body is pretty thinned and toned so it is deceiving to people. People don't think I have more weight to lose but I know there is room for improvement and I'm not going to stop until IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII am truly happy. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
  • starwhisperer
    starwhisperer Posts: 367
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    Yep that is a healthy goal. I am taller than you and that is my goal and still well in my healthy range.
  • Cathy92
    Cathy92 Posts: 312 Member
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    some people just get used to seeing you a certain way and can't imagine you any other way. STick with your plan and see how it goes. Don't let uninformed and 'off the cuff' comments deter you. I had that experience once many years ago and it played with my head. Looking back, I realized that person didn't have any kind of informed reason behind the statement.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    I say go somewhere where you can get an accurate body fat %. My Dr.'s office has a special scale that does that and tells you where it is. According to their scale at 31 you should be 21-33% fat.
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
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    I say go somewhere where you can get an accurate body fat %. My Dr.'s office has a special scale that does that and tells you where it is. According to their scale at 31 you should be 21-33% fat.

    I would agree with this. I believe there comes a point where percentage is a better indicator than weight.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    In my experience your body will let you know when it's "done." At that point, you won't be able to keep losing without doing something drastic like cutting calories further or working out more. When you reach the point that you're close to your goal and you just stop losing weight, it'll be time to ease into maintenance.

    Furthermore, I think that your ideal weight works out like this, as well. It's the weight which makes you feel good and at which you can happily maintain the required nutritional and fitness levels to stay there.
  • olivia3263
    olivia3263 Posts: 263 Member
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    Thanks for the input everyone. I know I'm not done now, but I also know I don't want my goal to be based on a specific number (especially if it might not be right for me). I am NOT a good judge of the way I look. I feel like I've been on a diet for soooo long - for like 16 years. I've never NOT been trying to lose weight (even when I was going up, I've still been wanting to be somewhere else). I just feel like with so many years trying to get there, I'm not sure I'm going to "know" when I actually do. And this is the closest, by far, I've ever gotten and I'm really excited. But I also don't know if I'll be able to stop myself when I get there.

    I know my body will stop naturally, in which case I will have to do something if I want to continue losing. But at this point I am so used to plateaus and breaking them - I hit a plateau at 168 (my previous lowest weight number) and broke that, hit one at 164, and again at 162, and then now I'm sure 158 will stick around for a while. I am constantly reevaluating my diet and fine tuning it to get myself through these pauses. It's going to be hard to figure out the difference between just a regular plateau and the one that means I shouldn't lose anymore. The regular weekly losses are definitely gone, and I'm adjusting to that.

    But like I said, I am well aware that I've still got more to lose, and am certainly up for the challenge. It's harder to tell with my body because I'm muscular, have lost weight evenly all over my body (no tummy or extra fat on my thighs). The thing is, I really don't want to look skinny. Some women look waspy and dainty when they're so bony, and others look downright masculine (and I think with my muscular build it would be more like that - and I don't want to look like that). I just don't trust myself as a good judge of how I look. I'm still adjusting to the "new me". I'm not stressing about this - just curious if people had an 'ahah' moment when they got there, or just kind of slipped into it.
  • Bella7810
    Bella7810 Posts: 39
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    In my experience your body will let you know when it's "done." At that point, you won't be able to keep losing without doing something drastic like cutting calories further or working out more. When you reach the point that you're close to your goal and you just stop losing weight, it'll be time to ease into maintenance.

    I completely agree with this. That is what happened with me. I want to get to 120 but I have stalled at 125 - 130 (I'm 5'6"). I've cut calories and changed my workouts but I'm just not losing anymore. At this point, to lose more would require me to do something extreme. If you are happy with how you look, you feel good and not sick or tired or simply "out of it" and your body seems comfortable where it is, then its just maintenance. Ultimately, it's your decision though.

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