Discouraged- Advice Please

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amhodac
amhodac Posts: 9
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been using MFP off and on for several months. It seems as soon as I get the momentum going, something comes up to interfere and everything falls apart.

Last evening, my husband confessed that he doesn't like the healthy meals I'm making. He said the meals don't fill him up and would like me to make something with more flavor. I think the food isn't too bad (I've been cooking mostly from WW cookbooks and HG cookbooks). He doesn't cook, and I really don't want to prepare 2 separate meals each night. I was hoping that the healthy meals would encourage both of us to eat better; but in reality he doesn't need to lose weight and it is difficult for him to see things from my perspective.

Does anyone else have this same situation? Where one person wants to eat healthy and the other doesn't? How have you handled without caving and scrapping the healthy eating objective all together?
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Replies

  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    try skinnytaste.com and recipes from whole foods online :)
  • bstevens1021
    bstevens1021 Posts: 33
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    While I understand and sympathize that the meals aren't as much to his liking, he needs to understand that your health is more important. "He doesn't cook"-well, if he wants something else, he better learn!

    You shouldn't start making crap foods that he likes and make your health and weight loss goals suffer. Try adding some more flavoring, spices, etc. to the foods you're making, and if he still doesn't like it-see above comment about learning to cook. :P
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Is it possible that he can make his own meals? Or do some of the cooking? It seems awfully unsupportive of him to just decide he doesn't like the way you're cooking without offering any kind of constructive help. Health should come first, but really, if you're following WW and skinnytaste.com recipes, you're getting some pretty good flavour too.
  • Esliva
    Esliva Posts: 2
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    He wants something different let him learn to cook.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    While I understand and sympathize that the meals aren't as much to his liking, he needs to understand that your health is more important. "He doesn't cook"-well, if he wants something else, he better learn!

    You shouldn't start making crap foods that he likes and make your health and weight loss goals suffer. Try adding some more flavoring, spices, etc. to the foods you're making, and if he still doesn't like it-see above comment about learning to cook. :P
    This. Also, make more so he gets a larger portion. One idea that has worked for me is to make just one more item that is just his to eat. He'll still eat the same protein and veggies you are, but make him a baked potato or some pasta, that is just for him. I do this a lot because I'm eating lower carb so my husband and son get the carb-y side dish and I fill up on the protein and veggies.
  • Peanut1026
    Peanut1026 Posts: 85
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    Ms. Dash has some really good spices, they are salt free, calorie free, sprinkle some of that on his food, and they come in a really wide variety of flavors, they even have a new one for steak!
    So far, I have only made one thing that my husband did not like, but he trew some hot sauce on it and ate it! lol
  • tolygal
    tolygal Posts: 602 Member
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    Quick reply (cuz I don't have more time): He'll get used to it. And if he's still hungry, he can eat more or make something seperate for himself. At least that's how I do it.

    I would also try new (healthy) things - but I wouldn't make two meals, and I certainly wouldn't stop cooking healthy.

    Good luck!
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    um. For me, this is a no-brainer - I'M cooking, you'll eat what I cook. end of discussion.
  • maura5880
    maura5880 Posts: 346 Member
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    Grab him a bunch of take-out menus :)
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
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    Hi there,

    I'm in that situation with my husband not wanting to diet but we share cooking - he does one night, I do the other night. He is willing to cook healthy food for me if I tell him what to make. (He's a good cook, but hates thinking of what to make).

    Could you:

    * Give him bigger servings (especially of meat)?
    * Up the taste factor in his half of the meal (i.e. stock, seasoning, sauces, more cheese etc)?
    * Have a chat with him about what foods he likes and dislikes and find recipes that are healthy that he likes more?
    * Realise that as an adult human, there's no reason in the world why he shouldn't be able to learn to cook!!?
    * Chat with him about supporting you - what he'll gain out of it (a fit, healthy wife), what you need from him on this journey etc.?
    * He can have takeaways or whatever while he's out and healthy food at home.

    Keep up your good work and don't let anyone put you off!

    Cheers,
    EJ
  • amyllu
    amyllu Posts: 432 Member
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    What are some of your recipes that you are using?

    Perhaps you could just add extras to his plate such as two servings of potatoes or meat.
    Don't expect OH to eat the same calorific content as yourself as men can eat nearly twice as much as women for a daily intake without any problems.
  • gennybunny1
    gennybunny1 Posts: 209
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    When I was on Jenny Craig my husband and daughter had to get used to cooking for themselves so they still do pretty much every night. Now that I am off Jenny Craig, if I am making a meal, it's my way or they starve. I also have nights I call fend for yourself and they have to cook because I'm not. My family just knows that most dinners they eat together and I eat seperately. My health comes first. So does yours.

    Take care.
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    What wickedcricket said lol No but really I have the same problem, but last night my husband told me that he eats because he has too, so I said why do you complain about my food, at least it's healthy... But I also said, well I cook so you eat what I make and I'll try to make a some things you like... So maybe once or twice a week I will make him something he likes and eat less for myself... That way it's fair for all.
  • Riverofbeauty
    Riverofbeauty Posts: 205 Member
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    You could always make the same meal for both of you but add something else for him ("unhealthy" that he likes). I don't know if you would be able to do that though, being around the food etc.

    I sometimes do that at home.
  • JulsDiane
    JulsDiane Posts: 349 Member
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    I have continued buying my husband's junk for him but meals are not a debatable option. He is so proud of me for losing and wants me to continue thus we will eat ground turkey instead of ground beef; we will bake instead of deep fry, we will have whole wheat or vegetable pasta, etc. Buy lots of new spices, get creative with recipes without adding to the calories with those and fresh herbs. Try some recipes off other sites like eat better america and all recipes healthy versions. make a side dish, like potatoes, that is just for him~ to fill him up. make some normal meals with healthy swaps like skim instead of 2% milk, ground turkey instead of burger, etc then just alter, and measure, your serving and have extra veggies to fill up ;) There are a lot of ways but basically it's up to you to NOT allow this to become an excuse.

    good luck!
  • ChristieisReady
    ChristieisReady Posts: 708 Member
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    My husband is similar. He has a highly active job, while mine is sedentary, so he's HUNGRY when he gets home, plus is kind of a meat and potatoes guy.

    What I do is

    1) Make sure he gets at least 50% more meat than I do.
    2) Make sure he gets at least 25% more food than I do.
    3) Top his with cheese.
    4) Make sure there are plenty of reasonably healthy guy snacks around the house (beef jerky, tortilla chips and salsa).
    5) In extreme cases, I will make a side dish for him like pasta or potatoes and double- or triple-up on the veggies like broccoli or spinach for myself.

    In the end though, "I want more flavor" isn't really a helpful critique, so ask him, if he were making dinner, what he would make. I know he doesn't make dinner, but hypothetically. Then, figure out what you can do to incorporate that into your style of eating. Healthy foods are not only found on the weight watcher or hungry girl sites, and sometimes, those "healthy" recipies involve a silly amount of fake sugars and starches to "sort of" emulate the flavor of something.

    It can be more helpful just to look at the epicurious or all-recipies recipie for a dish and see how to cut the fat from it.

    Good luck!
  • sundaycormier
    sundaycormier Posts: 4 Member
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    Yes, husband and children, maybe you can make veriations where yours is a healthier version. like with out cheese or somethingl. for example the other night my husband wanted cheese burgers. I had mine with no bun. i measured out 1 oz of sharp cheddar cheese and crumbled my meat and cooked some fresh mushrooms in the microwave. Just in water, then rinsed and cooked longer in clean water. I took a big hand ful of fresh baby spinach put the meat and mushrooms on it and cut the cheese as thin as i could to make it stretch. It was still kinda high in calories but so yummy and i felt totaly satisfied. tonight my husband is at a base ball game so my children begged for hb helper. I dont like feeding it to them never mind me. lol. Ill have a nice big salad with some turkey on it. or left over turkey chili. then a little snack to keep my motabalism going. good luck. it is frustrating. expecially when they bring in junk or say honey I picked up a pizza so you didnt have to cook. So sweet yet, not really. i do make 2 kinds of pasta, ww for me and who ever will eat it that night and i skip the bread.
  • ottawagirl613
    ottawagirl613 Posts: 112 Member
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    Because my hubby knows how to cook I'm kinda on the "if he wants something else he can make it himself" bandwagon. BUT if he was the kind of man who didn't know how to make toast I'd consider making one additional side like somebody mentioned above. Same healthy stuff you're getting but with one bonus meal item to help fill him up. That or throw a little cheese/dipping sauce/butter on whatever he's eating. I'll make one big salad but we'll dress it on our plates: him with ranch, parmesan, croutons and bacon bits.. me with a homemade vinaigrette dressing.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    my fiance needs a mass gain diet, mom needs weight loss, and im vegetarian. my advice: make one meal.....like grilled chicken breast. When they are done, pull yours and put bbq sauce on his. have a olive oil basted sweet potato baking with his regular russet. Have him put the fixins on his, and healthy fare on yours. Cook beans, corn, etc plain. Pull yours at done, add butter to his. I make one meal i can adjust slightly for all of us.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    You can probably go heavier with the spices. Most are calorie free. :)

    Have you ever tried the eating well [http://www.eatingwell.com/] cookbooks (and website) or cooking light [http://www.cookinglight.com]? They have great recipes as well that are healthy and full of "whole foods." They provide full nutritional info too.

    You can also bulk up your meals for you husband. Same healthy stuff, larger portions for him. Maybe extra starch? And an extra helping of veggies.

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