Full time work and health

Organization - it's the only way I'm afraid.

I'm going to make some suggestions, obviously not all of them will work for you....

Work out on the way to it from work. If your going to do this I find it works best to sort out all the kit the night before so it's ready to go. I'm up an hour early every morning for a run or swim before the office.

Make a big batch of something on a Sunday so it's ready in the fridge. When cooking in the week make larger amounts to put aside.

This will depend on the dynamic at home, can you get involved with cooking? Make some suggestions as to what would fit better for you? Make some changes as to the proportions of what you eat - fewer potatoes and more salad, or just less quantity?

It does take a little while to figure out what works for you, but it's worth doing. There have been times when it felt like all I did was work and sleep, I do a lot better when I at least manage to get out for 1/2 hr to do something.

How many hours are you working and how many commuting? Asking because things might be a lot different for you than for me. I work my 8 hours, mostly home office, and then have lots and lots of time left to do things. When I drive to the office (once per week) then I still only lose 1 hour total. So with 9 hours for sleeping that leaves me 6-7 hours for doing stuff.

You are almost certainly right that you have less unstructured time than when you were in university, but if you are eating meals someone else shops for, preps cooks and serves that is a lot of time saved that you would otherwise not have if you were raising a family and working, living on your own and working etc. it is sometimes hard to make the switch to living by the clock, and some of us are never really suited to that life. If you are stuck with it for now at least, treat your health commitments as actual calendar commitments and schedule them in so that you have to actively cancel a date at the gym etc. if you are making other plans. You also don’t have to explain everything to everyone when you aren’t available. It is sufficient to say “i can’t make it then, I have another appointment. How about __ instead?” It is probably the case that other people are also trying to fit in obligations like gym, dr visits for family members or themselves, and pre or post work grocery shopping or meal prep for the family, so they won’t find it odd.

Definitely just need to find structure.
I work full time (40+ hours), I work from home and have my kids at home that I homeschool, and still make it to the gym 5-6 days a week.

I started with 3 days a week, then 4, then 5-6 - I have to keep to a schedule.. The gym is on my calendar. I wake up early and work late to make sure I go to the gym.

It took a while to get in the schedule, every time something changes, you will have to adapt.

Structure is going to be very important - my Monday-Friday are very "routine" because that is the only way I will get things done. Sample day of mine which may give some ideas:

5:25AM - Up, dressed, head to part time job
6:15AM - 7:45AM - p/t job then back home, shower, change for f/t job
8:30-4:30/5ish - f/t job (work from home most days)
5-6:15PM - Change, workout (mostly focused on lifting with some cardio bursts between sets so I don't get too sweaty - p/t job is very physical and I get all sweaty there lol)
6:15PM-7ish - Cook dinner, clean kitchen, house work while food cooks, etc
7ish-8ish - Eat and clean up
8-9:30ish - Relax, unwind, spend time with SO
Get ready for bed, take care of pets, No later than 10:30 be going to sleep (so done reading, lights out, sleepy time)

Before needing the p/t gig and when I was still commuting, I would workout in the mornings before work and just get to bed a little earlier. Workouts were a bit longer (more like 2 hours) but I have a desk job so felt the need for more "active" time in my day.

A few things I do to help with time:
-Find meals and ways of cooking that help make cooking easier - I've got an air fryer (recently and it's been a life changer!), slow cooker, rice cooker. Grocery shop every ~2 weeks, my freezer gets loaded down, but then I'm not worried about food spoiling.
-For lunches, I will invest in decent prepped salads mixes or frozen meals (check the ingredients to be sure you're not just eating a bunch of chemicals or crappy foods) - still way cheaper than eating out! Easy to grab-n-go and can be a dinner in a pinch too.
-Workouts either first thing in the am, or as soon as I'm done with work - no relaxing otherwise I'll never get up again lol
-Give yourself some workout alternatives if you're really not up for/don't have time for a normal workout such as: quick walk or hike with the dog; jump rope between tasks; Balance training ball/bands; yoga or active stretching; yard work; bicycle ride....you get the idea.
-Cook extra so leftovers can be portioned into meals to freeze/fridge for lunches/dinners on busy days (getting some divided storage containers makes this a breeze and you can get them cheap on amazon).

If your family is cooking, you didn't describe WHAT they are eating - but perhaps just keeping a food scale handy and weighing things (even after cooked - while not ideal, better than not at all) that you dish up will and tracking will help you with portion sizes even on "not ideal" foods.

Welcome to being an adult. Most of us too were thinner and didn't think much about our diet when in college. Once you enter the working world, things change. Add a spouse, children, grandchildren, house, car, vacations, etc. and weight/food/exercise doesn't always stay first on our priorities list.

This forum and others help participants move diet up the list of priorities. Some people need diet in their top 10 list of daily priorities while others need diet in the top few priorities daily. Everyone is different.

My only advice is that for me, weight is something that I've needed to be conscious of my entire life. Sometimes I've been hugely successful for long periods of time and I've failed for long periods of time. I'm thankful that today is a successful day. I'm working on tomorrow.