Hello everyone - my journey / my story

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Myjourneybeginshere
Myjourneybeginshere Posts: 25 Member
in Getting Started
Hi there everyone
Pretty new to this app
I’ve tried it for free a few years ago but decided to take the plunge and go
Premium, mostly for the chat feature

I’ve put on over 4 stone in 3 years. Why?

*****TRIGGER ALERT*****

Well… I’m a food addict and it’s been a struggle to see the behaviours that led to the weight gain.

It’s a vicious cycle at the best of times. I haven’t figured this out at all, and I know it won’t be easy.

I mainly binge eat at night, although I don’t purge I am very aware of how the bingeing makes me feel. It’s a rut. I wake up feeling guilty, making plans for a better day. By the evening I am back to eating again.

Of course, that’s just an outline of my reason to be here, and I’m sharing it to be accountable.

To think so many of you will read this scares the living daylights out of me.

But, to think some of you may be dealing with this, getting through it or over it - that reminds me I’m not alone.

I’m so worried that if I don’t take control I will just keep going, keep getting bigger, more uncomfortable and mostly - more unhappy.

I hope that fear is enough for me to think twice about my actions, to set some mini/tiny goals and to get on a path to get to happiness.

Thanks for taking the time to read

Replies

  • Mandy_SD
    Mandy_SD Posts: 29 Member
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    Ditto on a lot of the same issues. I crave sugar at night and find myself running to the kitchen. Eatting too much "bad" foods and feeling awful about myself in the morning. Proud of you for puting your story out there! Let's be friends :)
  • saggynaggy65
    saggynaggy65 Posts: 68 Member
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    Myjourneybeginshere...I could have wrote your post. I struggle with the same type of binge eating disorder. It's really ramped up during the holidays because there is so much food around. I too go to bed at night feeling absolutely guilty about how many calories I have consumed. Each morning I wake up eager and ready to make it a good day, then by late afternoon I am snacking to the point of no return. My binge food is sugar. I feel sick about it. You are more than welcome to add me as a friend!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,455 Member
    edited December 2022
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    What helped me was logging an “average” day.

    I had no inkling of how many calories I was eating, nor the effort it took to burn a calorie.

    It was a huge wake up moment for me to realize that my average days were easily 10,000 calories or more- almost 100% candy, cookies, doughnuts, pie and ice cream. To my shame and guilt, a lot of it hidden from my husband and kids, although I’m sure they were wise to the hidden stashes around the house, and wrappers in the car.

    Once I was cognitive of that, I began to pay attention to what I ate.

    I threw out everything in the house I considered unhealthy. At the time I really had no clue, but drawing that line in the sand and trashing or giving it away, versus “well it’s paid for I’ll just eat it and have one last binge and start tomorrow”. Tomorrow never came. There was always a BOGO or deal on something tempting so “tomorrow” just got pushed further and further out.

    Emptying the pantry of trigger foods was freeing.

    I made a list of healthier foods I could eat as snacks, and started trying to come up with creative alternatives for foods I enjoyed. I discovered sugar free products were much tastier than I remembered, and “got over it” that they were “bad”. What was worse? The extra hundred pounds I was lugging around, or three or four sugar free foods per day?

    As I stopped eating sugar, the cravings went away. I began to be able to actually taste flavors again. I didn’t realize how badly sugar was masking other flavors. Oranges became so sweet l’d pucker up as I ate them. Frozen blueberries are my addiction these days, especially the Wyman’s wild blueberries. I have a bowl every single day.

    You’re going to have to hold you own hand and walk yourself through this. You can’t rely on a partner, parent, online accountability partner to get you through this TBH, they are a built in excuse. “They didn’t motivate/nag/encourage me the right way or I would have succeeded.“

    Nope, it’s on you.

    Develop good habits weighing food and logging so you are in CONTROL. It may seem petty and annoying and trifling but it’s the only way to control what goes in. It’ll get much faster and easier with experience. And a year down the line, you’ll be grateful for the data.

    I just got back from a week overseas, visiting Christmas markets. It was fricking freezing and we would dive into a bakery every hour or so just to warm up. I logged everything faithfully. My food diary for the past week is a sh*tshow. But I know exactly what I ate and I know exactly how to undo the damage, because I have four years worth of knowledge, experience and data.

    More than anything, I’d recommend reading these boards religiously. Read the “stickies” at the top of each board category. Learn from those who’ve been there before. Learn to look at someone’s post about the latest fad/diet/powder/pill/detox and recognize and filter out BS.

    PS just last night I threw out a four year old bottle
    Of Apple Cider Vinegar I found hiding under the sink. Yeah, I was a beginner once, too, and fell for some of the quick fixes. Ya live and ya learn, and ya decide if you’re going to be successful or fall back into bad habits.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,455 Member
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    PS a fitness tracker helped my husband and I a LOT.

    Having a correlation between calories earned in a workout versus how many eaten was eye opening.

    I was so ignorant of nutrition , I thought a three mile walk burned off a whole bag of Double Stuff Oreos. Nope. It barely burned off two of the things.

    Learning stuff like that was staggering and I feel like our trackers propelled us towards our goal.

    My husband don’t join me til I was three years in, and when he did (yay!!!!!!!) he balked at a tracker til
    I dragged him to the store and made him get one.

    Now he’s really “in” to tracking calories burned, movement, etc. that was when his own weight loss took off.

    You can buy trackers cheap. There’s all kinds of them. Or buy used ones or ask friends if they have one you can test out.

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