Over 50 with low willpower

fd84yxg5m5
fd84yxg5m5 Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
Low willpower is my weakness.

Esther

Replies

  • stopthat35
    stopthat35 Posts: 24 Member
    Mine too. I feel like a yoyo in a daycare. It doesn't help when family members keep bringing me gifts of food.
  • MsCzar
    MsCzar Posts: 1,071 Member
    I hear ya! Willpower is difficult to muster as we get older. Most of us are no longer in the dating pool trying to attract a prospective mate. Our contemporaries may be a bit lumpy and aren't eagerly encouraging us to improve. Our physical activity is more voluntary than necessary. For most of us, physical activities with friends - like dancing the night away - no longer happens regularly.

    When I am low on willpower, I default to minimal effort. It's pretty weak, but I usually manage some effort. For example, I may skip breakfast and lunch and instead devour far too many Christmas goodies. But then I'll have fish and greens for dinner with no eating in the evening. Or if I am a sedentary lump all day, I'll tell myself I'll do five minutes of medium cardio; not always, but I usually end up doing more. Making and tracking progress feels so much better than feeling like a tired old lump. Typically, I will get bored with myself after a few days and get back on track.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    In his book, “The Art And Science Of Rational Eating” the late psychologist Albert Ellis described people’s trouble with willpower as coming from an emphasis on all will but no power. What did he mean? We can try to plan our way around too much reliance on willpower.

    I’ve lost over 100lbs and have maintained for years. I’m not very good at the just say no approach. What I can do is plan. I’m also pretty good at delay. I generally plan my day for 3 meals and 3 snacks. If I’ve made a good plan I can usually wait for what I get to eat next. By exerting some willpower at the supermarket we can avoid trying to stare down a box of cookies at 9 pm.

    There are times when all we can do is tough it out. But willpower is like a muscle, it can wear out over time. But also like a muscle it can be built up if we work and train it a bit. Effective use of willpower has a lot to do with confidence. Use it sparingly and it will be ready when you absolutely need it. Good luck.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    I, too, vote for finding the methods that require the minimum of willpower but still pave a path toward goals. In other words, don't focus on how to lose weight fast, focus on how to lose weight relatively easily. Slow but sustainable loss can get us to goal weight in less calendar time than a theoretically fast loss rate that results in bouts of deprivation-triggered overeating or even in giving up entirely. Patient persistence can work.

    Think about which foods you enjoy, and find filling. Eat those in calorie-appropriate amounts. Log your food without value judgement, but review your logs later and analyze them. What might have been more filling, tasty, nutritious, calorie appropriate, affordable, practical? Gradually tweak your eating in manageable ways to dial in new habits that better balance your short term goals (like satiation and tastiness) with longer term goals (like reduced weight and better health).

    IMO, successful weight loss is just a series of analysis and problem-solving opportunities, kind of like a fun, productive science fair project for grown-ups. It need not be some epic drama of "good" and "bad" foods or behavior, implying that being fat is a sin that we need to expiate.

    Willpower and discipline are not my strongest muscles . . . not even close. Still, I joined MFP at age 59 and lost 50+ pounds from class 1 obese to a healthy weight, and have been at a healthy weight since (now age 67).

    You can do this. Think "easier", rather than "faster". Stick with it. Make positive, practical changes in habits when you have the psychological energy to do so; hang onto those habits and maintain when other parts of life get more attention-grabbing. Just keep going, don't give up. If you have a bad day (or so) put it behind you, and keep going. It's the majority of our days that determine the majority of our results, not that rare bad day.

    Wishing you success!

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