Help....no motivation

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I am restarting to use myfitnesspal. I am getting married in August and need to lose some weight before then. I am currently at 205 with a height of 5'1". I cannot afford a membership for a gym. This week I have started logging my food intake but I cannot find the motivation to exercise at home. Life has been very difficult lately. I am not a planner for meals so when we get home after a long day at work our go to is eating out. I have a super super sweet tooth. Any advice and/or support any one can give is very much appreciated.

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  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 13,231 Member
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    I will echo what @snowflake954 said; exercise is not the driver of weight loss; calorie deficit is. Log your food and activity and stay in a deficit. Don't try to lose too fast; that may not get you to your goal for your wedding, but in the long run it will be better, and you will be more likely to maintain the loss and not give up in frustration.

    Exercise is good on its own sake. It can make us more fit and more healthy. It can, like being a healthy weight, improve our health markers. You do not have to go to the gym to exercise. Walking is great exercise, and all you need is shoes and clothing appropriate to the weather. If you want to do some strength training, that will benefit your bone density over time. There are a lot of body weight exercises you can do at home. I seem to recall a recent blog post on MFP that gave some good suggestions. I bet a quick search will find it for you.

    Set some goals for the short and long term, develop good strategies to make progress on them, and get busy! Don't feel like you're failing if you have a bad day; just start back again immediately. Don't wait for tomorrow; do it right now.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,154 Member
    edited January 2023
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    Great advice from the experienced, successful folks above!

    If reaching and staying at a healthy weight inherently and universally required motivation, discipline, or willpower, I'm pretty sure I'd still be obese. Finding new and relatively happy habits is key - and experimenting to find and groove those in is a good use of my rare momentary bursts of motivation.

    As far as a sweet tooth: It doesn't work for everyone, but it helped me to make it a point for to start eating 3 servings of fruit every day. It took some willpower for a few short weeks to do that instead of picking baked goods or candy, but after a while my cravings for those more calorie-dense sweets subsided. After that, I could be more flexible with fruit intake, and keep the effect.
    I've seen others here say that also helped them; but some also find that substituting non-caloric sweeteners was their best route.

    With that and other things, don't be afraid to experiment: If something doesn't work out for you, you're not "a failure", it just wasn't the right plan for you. Try a different plan, and keep chipping away. You can find what works for you!
    mtaratoot wrote: »
    (snip)
    There are a lot of body weight exercises you can do at home. I seem to recall a recent blog post on MFP that gave some good suggestions. I bet a quick search will find it for you.
    (snip)

    There are also some bodyweight programs in this classic MFP thread, though the title may imply otherwise:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1
    (snip)
    There’s tons of free exercise videos online, or inexpensive ones like the Apple series or the yoga one, the name of which escapes me.
    (snip)

    Maybe Yoga With Adriene, which seems to be very popular with folks here?

    https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,459 Member
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    I lost the weight I wanted to by following this program. How often do you hang out with your boyfriend? Ask him to walk with you - at a park, along city streets, whatever. Just 20 minutes walking together and chatting about your day and dreams for your future will help you decompress from work and you'll no doubt enjoy each other's company

    Ya know, I clicked Like but then changed to Inspiring.

    Man, all we do is discuss Pokémon, and if the dog has…errrr….adequately emptied himself. Dreams for future sounds soooo much nicer!!!!!
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
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    Lots of people are saying exercise is not the driver and I am sure they are right - they are probably mored experienced and successful than me. However I lost 20lb on exercise alone. Meaning - I was still overeating by the same amount every day that led to my problems, as I just can't find the motivation to diet or restrict my calories. But by adding exercise, 20lb came off easily in one year. If I had dieted too, I would be my target weight now, and that is my goal for this year.

    I suggest really really easy small changes to start with.
    I began by doing this:
    20 squats or sumo (wide stance) squats while brushing my teeth morning and night - that's 40 squats a day instantly or 280 a week. It's so easy - just put the toothpaste on, brush and squat!
    While the kettle boils, do high knees. Hold out your hands at chest height and try and raise your knees to tap them. Your hands might lower a bit at first. Do 10 on each side and then switch to bring opposite knee to opposite elbow for 10 on each side.
    If the kettle still hasn't boiled :wink: put your hands on the edge of the work surface, take a big step backwards, tuck your tailbone in and lower your chin to the work surface - standing press ups.
    In line at the grocery store or waiting for public transport, squeeze your glutes together as tight as you can for the count of twenty. Then pull your stomach muscles in as tight as you can for twenty. Repeat, alternating bum and tum, until it's your turn with the cashier or your train arrives.
    While washing your hands, do a little boxer shuffle.

    These might not sound like much but tiny things like this seem to 'wake up' your main muscle groups and once they're awake they really want to move and you'll find yourself moving and tensing more often. The squats make it easier to leap out of a chair to answer the door or put the kettle on, or to climb the stairs to speak to someone instead of texting or hollering, so you get into a virtuous circle of moving more.

    Once you feel lively, you might find the impetus to join a class or a gym or do workouts online at home for free - there are loads of good ones, including some brilliant 5, 8 and 10 minute HIITs that will leave you feeling like you worked out
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
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    I lost the weight I wanted to by following this program. How often do you hang out with your boyfriend? Ask him to walk with you - at a park, along city streets, whatever. Just 20 minutes walking together and chatting about your day and dreams for your future will help you decompress from work and you'll no doubt enjoy each other's company. I got my husband to join me on after-dinner walks, then we'd come home to watch TV feeling virtuous. A food hint: log in the sweets you want to eat each day so you don't feel deprived of the sweets you crave! Every day, I would log in a cookie, a piece of pie, a scoop of ice cream or a couple pieces of candy - and only ate that amount and I did it every single day. You can select the kind of calories you want to eat without making yourself feel miserable. Good luck!


    I love the idea of logging sweets in advance. I think that could be a real breakthrough for me. Knowing there will be a sweet that I want (rather than a virtuous half-sweet that I don't want) would really help.
  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 35,754 Member
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    Motivation is a limited resource. It's too exhausting for others to constantly pull you back UP. It's not their responsibility.

    Break up with the worst version of yourself. It may break your heart, but it's going to fix your vision. The person I used to be, doesn't work for me. She worked against me. Don't cling to the past just because you've spent a long time making it. Make a clean break.

    There's no such thing as the perfect calendar day to start. If you keep waiting for the perfect day to begin, it seldom lasts. Break up with perfectionism. That old way of thinking will break your heart, over and over and over again. Move on to better things and a better version of yourself. You choose. Every. Single. Day.