Help needed

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or help.

I’ve signed up to this as another attempt to try and lose some weight.

I’ve had an unhealthy/problematic relationship with food ever since I was a child. Up until my late twenties this was counteracted by the fact that I was a keen sportswoman and distance runner. If anything, I needed to eat more, so this kind of disguised the fact that I wanted to binge eat all the time - I never gained any weight.

Things all changed about 5 years ago when I got an injury and had to stop running for a while, and then had to deal with a diagnosis of chronic kidney disease. These days I can still exercise but not nearly in the way that I did before. It was then that I realised I wasn’t able to adapt how I ate and that I didn’t eat because I was hungry but because of a psychological need. I slowly gained many pounds and now, I could do with losing about 1/3 of my body weight. I’ve tried everything from intermittent fasting, calorie counting, and everything in between but nothing has worked because no matter how motivated I am at the start of the day, all motivation disappears by 5pm.

I feel physically sick at the sight of myself in the mirror and I can’t bear to carry on like this but I don’t know how to beat it.

Did anybody else start from where I am? If so, how did you move forward? I would be grateful to hear from anybody that can offer advice.

I’ve had an unhealthy/problematic relationship with food ever since I was a child. Up until my late twenties this was counteracted by the fact that I was a keen sportswoman and distance runner. If anything, I needed to eat more, so this kind of disguised the fact that I wanted to binge eat all the time - I never gained any weight.

Things all changed about 5 years ago when I got an injury and had to stop running for a while, and then had to deal with a diagnosis of chronic kidney disease. These days I can still exercise but not nearly in the way that I did before. It was then that I realised I wasn’t able to adapt how I ate and that I didn’t eat because I was hungry but because of a psychological need. I slowly gained many pounds and now, I could do with losing about 1/3 of my body weight. I’ve tried everything from intermittent fasting, calorie counting, and everything in between but nothing has worked because no matter how motivated I am at the start of the day, all motivation disappears by 5pm. It’s like I can’t actually not eat too much, even if I don’t want to. I’m sure that sounds crazy and I realise in principle it should be as simple as making calories out more than calories in.

I feel physically sick at the sight of myself in the mirror and I can’t bear to carry on like this but I don’t know how to beat it.

Did anybody else start from where I am? If so, how did you move forward? I would be grateful to hear from anybody that can offer advice.

Thank you

Replies

  • ratchet2
    ratchet2 Posts: 87 Member
    do you have a hobby or something that will engage the mind or hands after dinner (5pm)?

    If you really need something after 5, have you tried any low cal snacks like air popped popcorn?

    Start slow, messing up 1 day, does not need to mess up the whole process. Most of us will back slide whether we admit it to others or not, just keep moving forward. Dont limit your food choices, more adapt portion control. Myself, i eat chocolate every day. I break up those large bars, store them in the freezer and have a couple pieces to end my day.

    As for exercise, have you tried strength training, or just walking? There are a lot of different excercise programs that do not involve running.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Weight loss depends more on what you eat and drink. It's hard to exercise enough to lose without reducing calories. How you do that is up to you. Many people have to have therapy before they can start to lose. If you've tried everything else, you may want to consider it.
  • noodlesno
    noodlesno Posts: 113 Member
    Hey,

    I am sorry you are struggling.

    I don't think there will be many people on this site who haven't at some point or currently have a problematic relationship with food. So you are not alone.

    It took me a very long time to realise I was using food as self-punishment, rather than fuel or even joy. Although I had been on a tonne of diets in the past I wasn't successful until 2018 and what was the change for me is that I had to work REALLY hard in realising that I was worth taking care of. Once I had worked that out, then the food and weight loss were not that hard. I wanted to give my body the food it needed and I wanted to make sure it was at a weight that was healthy.

    My advice is that you need to give yourself some love. When you look in the mirror rather than be disgusted, thank your body for carrying you through your life or letting you do the sports you love. I know it sounds stupid and you will probably have to force it out to start. However, appreciating yourself and your body will help you think that you deserve the space/time/energy to treat it well.

    In terms of the diet. Start slow and gentle in order not to set yourself up to fail. Whether that is just focusing on hitting your protein goal or even your maintenance calories. Whatever it is, something that is achievable. Once that is down then pick something a little harder and work from there. You sound like a super accomplished sportswoman, so it is like training for an ultra, you would never send someone out on the first day of the training cycle to do 50km, that would be madness! You start with a smaller distance and work up.

    Wish you all the best and I totally believe you have got this.